imagine going through a very difficult time with the aftermath of being possessed and wanting to become a good person out of all the bad things you've done either by the man you're bound to or otherwise from your own hands which you don't mean to happen, it just does, and you're now feeling ugly and more of a monster than before because some of the physical damage to your body has not been outdone, you are ugly to yourself, you are ugly to what you believe to the world, and it is not just vanity, it is personality, and you're ruined. you can't go back. you're a monster, now, immortalized, not as you want, and odd.
and you steam on into the chaos and go beyond rock bottom. you might as well be drowning in magma.
and that's judas. that's you. that's him. anyways, funny flowers, amirit