Even when I should be excited for the second year of Artfight, I bounce back to dread almost instantly. I hate to admit that I want the AI fad to die out - not sure if with a whimper or just a quiet exit. I'm pretty fed up of these AI kiddies thinking its the next big thing and how we are "gatekeeping" them from what makes them feel good... Good to know you rather be a lying thief like a certain political figure that is still making a tomfoolery out of us mostly. I see a few of these generative prompters saying that we "insult" them and tell them they're not real artists and lack soul when it comes to making works. They tout about how they're the ones being victimized... Honey, you're the one that making the "garbage" out of other peoples' work and you put the blame on us? Pathetic.
I'm probably whacking the exhausted horse by making this entry here but at the same time, there's not much traffic here compared to say Tumblr or Pillowfort. It's a long shot by all means, but I rather risk it here than either of the two. Most of the time, when I do art I use references but at the same time I try and put some twist to it. Sometimes I admit to regurgitating the idea in the style of fanart. I can say the whole "pick up a pencil", but they already learned to twist that mess up with some funky comparisons that hardly make sense.

I still wish the bored slob that scraped works from Artfol and Paperdemon a lovely dance with karma - being that whatever mess they brought onto us gets bounced back. Much to the dismay of my kindhearted nature, I do not wish to be wronged in that shape or form. I have learned that I don't have to please everybody but at the same time I refuse to let myself go out of my way in my own time to treat people like garbage. It's not me and I refuse to stoop that low in the ground.
Even now, I still felt the sting because second time when it came to trying this and I got hurt again. I refuse to take "get over it, AI is going to scrape your material regardless". To me, it screams give up and there's a 0% chance of fighting back. I don't buy that. I still have that firm belief that stuff like Glaze and Artshield give some artists a fighting chance. Doesn't mean 100% scraper proof, of course. If it helps to discourage those people that have nothing better to do than to play with some dark magic mockery, then fine. I'll be happy to mess around with these kiddies. I refuse to back down, but I also tend to be too much into the fighting to step back and take a chill pill.

Long story short, I felt like this because when I had been growing up I had little to no folks to look up to that were into the same things I do now. It's because of that I feel compelled to give the current set of budding artists that refuse to "give into" the what feels like the capitalistic viewpoints of letting AI take over for the artwork creating. I want it to do the EXACT OPPOSITE of that! I want it to do the laundry and making sure clothes are put up so I have time to read, work on the website, and yes - even draw. The fact that the AI kiddies I start to refer to them as will do anything at this point to induce rage and get people to talkback so they could flip the script and have it seem like we're the bad guys. To me, it feels like preschool fighting all over again and even then, those kids acted way better than these kiddies do...
I had tried fiddling with the watermark feature on ToyHouse again and I found an option that would work for the moment. Even after applying the poisoning watermarks I still feel like it's not enough. But I also feel like I'm going overboard with it too by the watermarks... Stress and anxiety talking again.

So for the moment, I am hoping to get the rest of the Artfight stuff up. I will get that character reference sheet up so there's one extra option. There was also debate up for whether or not to rename the Pokesona a bit but still in the process of figuring out a decent compromise. I have been fairly active on the microblogging platforms mentioned above as well as a few forums for Melonland, Pokecommunity, 32-Bit Cafe's Discourse, and recently Sonic Blast and SheepishPatio. There was some consideration on whether or not to join RetroGameChat but I don't want to overwhelm myself either. Reading books and playing on the Switch does indeed help, especially when I start seeing more of the AI fanatics throwing the stones on us. RP Repository is one of the few I had remembered getting on as well, but because the forums feel like an essential part of the site I disregarded it.
I want to get into that once things settle down, but I feel so wound up I get convinced that this AI threat really is going to take over and I have little to nothing I can do to prevent that. And that could be the pessimistic baloney meter going off in my head. There are times where I do regret not jumping into this when I was younger but I also was enthralled with keeping to myself and schoolwork. Mostly the former since I was quite the "paranoid" kid back then too with the trust issues. Classmates didn't help either and that is something to discuss with a professional.

For those that have read this far down, thanks for keeping up with this mess. I probably sound like a broken record on some of these journals when I say sorry for the long blocks of text. I try to not overexpose myself since I had learned that its there when people will take it and use it against you. It's been a mental roller coaster that continues now and I'm just escalating it by not addressing that elephant in the room. I feel like it's something I have to battle with on my own because I fear not a lot of folks outside of the online circles I have established lately would be able to understand. I don't have doubts they can, but I fear they might not be able to help and it terrifies me to the brim...
I had been wanting to do a journal post for Dreamwidth that feels like a hodgepodge of things. Although I had considered doing one in regards to the whole AI situation overall, but again - it would probably bring more trouble to me than relief to most like myself. I had considered sharing email with folks that have earned my upmost trust, but I think that's either a small amount or some of them might not be so keen in emailing to keep up. Alas though, not much to fuss over as I figured its for their own personal reasons such as boundaries or just not ready to open up again.

Again, thank you for reading this blob of text if you have made it to the official end of it.

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