All That GlittersData rings Geordi's doorchime, trembling and struggling to keep the tears back. Choked sobs and shaky breaths wrest from his clenched core. From within, Geordi calls for him to enter. The door swings open and Data lurches inside, inhumanly fast. Once the door slams shut he finally lets the sobs loose; ugly, heaving things that choke out his cooling breath and force him to fold in on himself. "Woah, hey! Data.." Geordi abruptly sits up from his bed, at Data's side in a human instant; almost too slow. Steadying hands grasp Data's upper arms. "Geordi, I n-need you to remove the emotion chip. Please. I do not want it anymore." "Woah, woah, slow down Data. What happened?" Data sniffles and shakes, but does not afford himself the luxury of sinking into Geordi's embrace. He stares up into Geordi's visor, rich gold pouring from wide, glossy eyes. "I.. I was in Ten Forward. Deanna had brought me there to try chocolate ice cream for the first time." Data's breath evens out as he speaks. "It was.. it was delicious. It was the most wondrous thing I have experienced so far! I was filled with joy, so pure and strong, I could do nothing but burst into song!" He smiles distantly for a moment. It fades into a faraway, lost, stricken look. "Then.. I noticed how they all were staring at me. Like I had grown a second head. Shock, discomfort, disgust ." Data's face twists into a grimace at that word, almost a snarl. It melts to a profound, desperate sadness, fresh gold pouring down his cheeks. "But.. perhaps worst of all was the way Deanna was looking at me. Patient and indulgent, bemused, like I was a child ." He breaks eye contact, staring at the ground in distant, hopeless indignation. Incandescent. "I.. I do not wish to be looked at that way. I do not wish to know what it means. The looks before.. I told myself they would go away if only I had human emotions. But now I am too much. Mere expressions of joy are social blunders. I did not expect this to be the case." Geordi had listened, expression growing more horrified by the second. Finally he opens his mouth, then snaps it shut again. He shakes his head sadly. "Data.. I'm sorry, but I can't remove the emotion chip. It would be too risky at this point, it's too late. I.. do you want me to talk to them for you?" Data's eyes flick back and forth, wild, like a cornered animal. He wraps his arms around himself. "No.. no.. I do not want them to know. I.." He shakes his head and growls through the sobs. Overwhelming. Annoying. Obtrusive. He wants it to go away. It makes no sense to be so unable to control his own body. He misses the way he used to be. He misses the way he used to be. He hates the emotion chip. Hate is not fun anymore. "You should have let me fire that phaser!!" It comes out louder and harsher than he intended. Oh, Geordi, please forgive me. Please understand.. Geordi flinches back as if struck. Remorse loosens his posture. "I'm so sorry, Data. If I'd known it would be like this, I never would have stopped you." Paradoxically, the apology does nothing to calm Data down. He feels even more frantic, and.. is that sinking, curdling thing guilt? "I.. apologies, Geordi. I did not mean to snap at you. It is not your fault. I had many chances to destroy the chip since then, and I did not." He tries to sound like himself, tries to sound detached, emotionally unaffected. His voice trembles and sounds odd. "Data, it's okay. You're going through a lot, and it's all new. I'd be surprised if you didn't snap at me from time to time.." Geordi lets out an uneasy chuckle. Data does not know how to respond. A bit of the tension releases from his frame, the feeling seeming to be sinking below the surface; not gone, but not so overwhelming. "I.. do not think I will ever be human enough." Geordi frowns, silent for a while. "Well.. yeah, maybe you won't be. That's okay. They still love you, y'know. They just.. they don't understand. It makes them feel uncomfortable because they think.. well, if I wouldn't let myself do that, why should anyone else?" Data sniffles and looks off to the side. "Geordi.. do you feel that way as well?" "Honestly? Yeah. But I know it's not right. I try not to let it affect how I act around you. If I ever fail.. just, please know it's not really about you ." Data had felt a spike of anxiety when Geordi agreed; it is still wearing off as he makes eye contact once more. "I.. suppose that is comforting. But.. if it makes others uncomfortable, should I not make an attempt to temper my reactions?" Geordi looks stricken. His grip tightens on Data's arms. "Data.. please, don't do that." He takes a deep breath, removing his VISOR to rub between his eyes. He faces Data again. "You've always been so genuine. It's what I love about you the most, it's refreshing. I feel like I can express myself more freely around you than anyone else. I know you'll tell me exactly what you think, and that I can do the same. The way you love the universe and everything in it.. it's beautiful. It inspires me to be better. Please, don't push that down." Data is overcome with affection, though the sadness still roils beneath. He is unable to speak for a while, just gazing at Geordi with a heart full to burst. "Data?" Without the VISOR, Geordi cannot tell why Data has fallen silent. "Thank you, Geordi. You are a very good friend. I love you very much." Geordi smiles wide, skin crinkling at the corners of milky eyes not oft seen. "I love you too, Data." The smile turns bittersweet. "I'm sorry I can't be more help with the rest of the crew." That strange, negative feeling suffuses him again. "Please, do not apologize. I will be alright." Geordi's smile has slowly fallen into a slight frown. "Okay, Data. But you will tell me if you need help, right?" A small, tenuous smile pulls at Data's lips. "Yes, Geordi. You have been very helpful already. Thank you." Geordi unknowingly reflects Data's expression. "Any time." Data feels comfort blooming, fragile and soft. He wipes the tears from his face, thick gold smearing pale skin, shimmering in the low light. "Geordi.. you have comforted me, but my emotional state has not returned to normal." "That is normal, Data. It takes time to recover from a breakdown like that." He glances over his shoulder towards his bed, perhaps involuntarily to assist his thought process. "Hey, how about we listen to an audiobook and get some rest. Maybe Sherlock Holmes?" "Yes, please." "Got a particular one in mind?" "All that Glitters is Too Good to be True." Geordi's forehead creases with worry, but he nods and asks the computer to start playing the story at normal speed. Both of them can follow an audiobook at much higher speeds, so Data presumes Geordi set a normal speed so as to provide a more relaxing experience. Data feels grateful and loved. Geordi picks up his VISOR in one hand and guides Data gently to the bed with the other. He is already wearing nightclothes, and climbs into bed after setting his VISOR on the nightstand. Data removes his shoes and uniform shirt and climbs onto the bed after Geordi, curling up at his side, letting himself be swept away once more by the story he has committed to memory in full. He feels safe and cherished, here beside his best friend. Perhaps he really will be alright.5/21/24"data, you are so hot" "hot, geordi?" geordi could hear the soft noises as data processed. "you are not referring to my temperature," the android stated "no, data. how you look to me - its like a supernova. waves of colored light so bright they should drown you out but i can see every detail of your face beneath them - and youre handsome as hell" a small smile quirked at datas lips. "you are handsome as well."