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Riff-Fiction: House on the River 03Chapter 3 Confrontation Mist Elmbarn: Ooooh....Ooooh....! I hope this will lead to an action scene. Marut, Harut: Oh we wish! The days had turned into weeks. With each passing day it grew clearer to Kira that she and Jen were headed nowhere. As they barely spoke at all nowadays, Kira decided she needed to do the right thing by Jen and let him go. Harut, Marut, Mist (singing): The cold never bothered me anyways! It was the only right thing to do, considering that she would not want to be with someone like herself in her confused and flustered state of mind, bordering on the edge of insanity. Though it was not passionate, she still did care for Jen and wanted only the best for him, even if it wasn't with her. She knew she would not be able to live up to the standards that he deserved. Marut (as Jen): Oh noes! I'm in the friend zone! Harut, Marut, Mist Elmbarn: WAH WAH WAAAAAAH! She called him by phone, wanting to meet in person. As painful, and as hard as it would be go through with, that was the only way. She owed him at least that. The two met at a local coffee shop, down the street from the high rise in which they resided. “Well Kira, it's not like I didn't see this coming,” Jen said, fighting back tears. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): Oh how cute Jen. You are getting weepy, like those bishie pretty boys in the Shoujo manga books I read. Marut (as Jen): That is exactly why I'm getting weepy! Because we are all trapped in a loose, fanfic adaptation, of a crappy Shoujo Manga book. Every...Single....One of us....!WAAAAAAAH! “You haven't been yourself as of late, and if this is what you want, I will give it to you. But know this, I know there is something wrong with you, and it's not just your lack of feelings for me. Something has happened to you. Harut (as Jen): It's like you've been mind raped with a love arrow or something. I really can't guess what it could be, and I know you do not want to tell me what it is. If you're not ready, that's okay. But when the time comes, and you need a friend, I am here.” Marut (as Jen): (grumble) (grumble) I've been friend zoned yet again....(rant) (rant) Harut (as Kira): Oh, it could be worse Jen. You could have been hit with a love arrow and lusted after Aughra instead. Marut, Mist Elmbarn: EWWWWWW! WE ARE SOOOOOOO GONNA GET SICK! This made Kira feel worse than she possibly could have already. Compared to her, Jen was a saint. He would have given her the world. Why in the world did she not feel the way she wanted to for him? Lady Agrat: Because Kira is made out of character in this fic. Mist Elmbarn: Isn't everyone out of character in this fic? Harut: True enough. You do have a good point there Mist. Better yet, why? No, she couldn't admit that part to herself out loud in her head. She mustn't think about it. SkekNa. Yes. That was his name. Mist Elmbarn (sarcasm mode): Noooo! We thought it was Jin Kazama the whole time! Marut: After Jin Kazama ended up living in The Wretched House, and got his devil genes castrated out of him. Harut: A castrated Jin Kazama? That would make for a very sad Ling Xiaoyu. “Damn the gods. Put him out of your head. This is mad!” Kira thought to herself. Marut (as Kira): So, I'm now sexually attracted to the members of the Mishima clan now? WTF? Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): I hope Ling Xiaoyu doesn't try to kill me over lusting after her precious Jin. “Kira?” “I'm sorry Jen. I am so very sorry. I wish it were different, I really do.” This time, she was not able to hold back her tears. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): WAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET ME OUT OF THIS MAD HOUSE OF A FANFIC! PLEASE JEN!? I BEG OF YOU! The gelfling had not gotten a good night's sleep in more than three weeks. All around her, the rose colored world in which she tried to build around herself seemed to be crumbling. Harut: As the harsh realities of living in such an oppressive place is taking a toll not only on Kira, but on all the other members of The Random House. Some days it was all she could do to not sit home and cry her eyes out. The one she was supposed to love was gone, and in her heart it was replaced by something else. Something unnatural. This was not how it was supposed to happen! What in the world would cause her to feel the way she did? It was down right impossible. Harut: No....Eros mind raped Kira into having Stockholm Syndrome! Mist Elmbarn: You know, I think Eros should be the villain of this story....NOT THE SKEKSIS THIS TIME! Marut: Or hell, the owners of The Random House, should be the big bad villains as well. Really manipulative villains who trick all canon characters, promising them paradise, only to end up in a fan fiction equivalent of North Korea. Mist Elmbarn: That would make story much more awesome and well written. Kudos to your great imagination dear Marut! Marut: Heh heh...No problem Mist my sweet. He and his clan, because of their irrational fear and hatred, had all but eradicated her entire race! She was only one of two that were left. So why was this particular Skeksis invading her thoughts the way he did? Harut: Because Eros is the “Designated Good Deity” of this fanfic. It was all she could do to block him of her head. Some days it worked, other days the harder she fought it, the more her feelings would come and punch her in the stomach. Harut (as Captain Falcon): FALCON PUNCH!!! It was getting more and more difficult to deny, especially on the days when she would catch glimpses of him walking by, whether it be in the hallway, in the communal room, or at the club. Was it that she was spotting him more often, or had she just never noticed him before? Whatever the case was, it was truly insanity. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): Oh boy. I oughta thank that jerk off Eros for having me pay the bills for therapy...Man...I want to kill that wretched reject Kewpie doll right now, but the owners of this place won't let me. HUMPH! They never spoke one word to each other, but there were darting glances here and there, which would be enough to cause her to lose 8 hours of sleep. Sleep was something came less frequent to them both. Both were terrified of dreams of each other. The truth was, Kira was absolutely miserable, and there was not a thing she could do about it. Marut: And everything in this story is all Eros' fault. Harut: Way to go author! Mist Elmbarn: And sadly, karma never bites that brat in the ass. Because it's against the rules of The Wretched House Weeks had turned into months since both had unknowingly been pricked by Eros's arrow. Eros, in his shame, had made himself scarce to Kira since his little folly. Marut: And there, Eros moved back into his mother's basement, and started sculpting Crayola air dry clay figurines of his Sonic the Hedgehog recolors. He happened to be walking outside the Random House's lower level, when he spotted her sitting in the local coffee shop, nursing a cappuccino, and hung his head in self-disgust. As he saw her sitting alone staring at the table in front of her, it was clear to him she was in agony, and he was the one responsible. Harut (as Eros): I have a confession Kira....I was the one that used a love arrow on you! Mist Elmbarn (as an angry Kira): WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! That is it! It's SPANKING TIME! He still didn't know if shooting SkekNa with his bow and arrow after he realized his mistake had been the right thing to do, but her misery would have been the same all in all if he hadn't. At least this way the Skeksis would be less like to do anything malicious towards her in the unlikely event she were to come forward with her feelings. Mist Elmbarn: But sadly, the owners of The Random House castrated the creepiness out of the Skeksis, and made them blend in with everyone else. Harut (as a movie trailer announcer): Coming soon! This year, in theaters! It is “The Stepford Skeksis”! He walked on by, not saying a word. Kira never looked up to notice him. Marut: Because Kira was too busy swooning over 50 Shades of Grey. Mist Elmbarn: EWWWWWWWS! Harut: No, just no no no! Once again, it was Saturday night, and after moping around her apartment all week trying to diagnose what was wrong with her, Kira decided to go out to the club. Harut: Because Kira's roommates threatened to send Kira to an insane asylum if she didn't stop moping around. Marut: Let's just hope that insane asylums don't allow their patients internet access, because that is a recipe for disaster. Harut: I'll say. Yes, that one particular Skeksis would probably be there, the one who was causing her so much stress, as he was there pretty much every other week, but she had to get out. If she had stayed alone by herself, she truly would lose her mind. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): Oh man, that insane asylum threat my roommates uses, works with me every time I get in a funk. It's like they say I'm becoming the next Bella Swan or something... Besides, dancing was the one thing she looked forward to, the one thing that seemed to be able to put her mind at ease, and help her forget everything that was causing her misery. If she were to catch him glancing her way, which she often did, she would put it out of her mind, she told herself. Marut (as the voices inside Kira's head): Kira....KIRAAAAAAA! Am I bugging you!? I'm not touching you! NYAAAAAAH! Yes, tonight would be different. Not only would she not notice him at all, she would pretend he did not ever exist. In truth, however, this would be next impossible. Harut: Because SkekNa was going around shirtless, wearing globs and globs of body glitter. Mist Elmbarn: NOOOOOOO! LORD NOOOOOO! She got herself dressed and ready, and arrived about 10pm. Since it was early, the dance floor was still pretty roomy, with plenty of room to stretch out. Sinead O�Conner�s Mandinka over the sound system, one of her favorite singers as well as one of her favorite songs, and she was able to let her mind go, and just feel the music. Harut: Sinead O'Connor? Since when was she relevant? Mist Elmbarn: It's like The Brady Bunch movie, only the author was trapped in the 1990's instead of the 1970's. Harut: Still a better fanfic than House on the River! Marut: Amen dear Mist. She danced to the next couple of songs after that as well. It felt so good to be able to just meditate on the music. Then the slow sets came on. Couples from all over the club flocked to the dance floor, arm and arm with each other. Marut, Harut, Mist Elmbarn (singing): MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON! Kira did not have a partner, so she retired herself to a chair behind the dance floor. Across the club, she saw the entry door open and once again, she was snapped back to reality. Marut (as Kira): Now, it's time for me to pull out my crack pipe Princess Allura gave me. (smoke) (smoke) (puff) (puff) SkekNa entered the club with their former garthim master SkekUng. A girl named Vera, who lived on their same floor, who Kira actually knew rather well, accompanied them. In another life, 65 million years ago here on earth, Vera was a velociraptor from the Triassic era of the dinosaurs. Now, she looked just as human as the rest of them, but still with a craving for raw meat, adorned with long, meticulously manicured nails, and as strong and agile as an Olympic athlete. Harut: Now the author is humanizing dinosaurs? WTF? Marut: I bet Vera secretly wishes she went extinct with her dinosaur kin, instead of having her individuality stripped away from her. “Hey Na Na, why don't you go make a request for me? Marut, Harut, Mist Elmbarn: NA NA!? NAA NAA? WHAT THE BLOODY.....? Harut: Not only are the Skeksis being reduced to humanized anime bishies, now they are getting cutesy nicknames from fangirls! Mist Elmbarn: Kind of like how Final Fantasy VII fangirls call Sephiroth “Sephy Boo Boo”? Marut: BINGO! You win the free internet my dear! I want to hear some Nine Inch Nails. Get it in early so we might have a better chance of hearing it,� asked Vera to SkekNa, using his nickname that he most often went by. Mist Elmbarn (as Vera): Maybe we can make sweet, SWEEEEET love to the NIN song, “Closer”. Harut (as SkekNa): In your dreams Vera! Not after you called me Na Na! I HATE THAT NICKNAME! SkekNa, who was not accustomed to doing things for other people unless it involved something for him, even the most simple of tasks such as this, snapped back at her sharply. “Why in the hell don't you do it yourself? Why am I your bitch all of the sudden?” Mist Elmbarn (as Vera): BUT NANA!!! I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YA! Oh, by the way, I ate all your Weenie Tots while you were gone with your Skeksis bros. Harut (as SkekNa): How about we go take a trip to Disney Fist in your Face Land! No one eats all my Weenie Tots and gets away with it. Combined with the added stress of his unwanted feelings towards that female gelfling, and Vera's incessant nagging, SkekNa was in no mood to be somebody else's servant tonight. Others served him - never the other way around. Marut (as SkekNa): WAAAAAAAAH! That's all I have left of my canon identity! STUPID DAMN AUTHOR AND HE BISHIE WISHIE GINJIKA FANTASIES! Harut: I'd hate to see the author add Kaiju, like Godzilla, or Gamera, to The Random House. Marut: That would all end in disaster if there was humanized Bishie Kaiju. Mist Elmbarn: The original creator of the Godzilla series is rolling in his grave over gijinka abominations becoming at thing. “Easy there, killer. I'm only asking because I think the deejay is afraid of me!” Vera said this with a chuckle in her voice. Marut (as SkekNa): NEWSFLASH VERA! Humanized anime bishounen and bishoujo versions of once monstrous characters, ARE NOT SCARY!!! Harut (as SkekUng): Now we are all as scary and menacing as Sesame Street monsters. Man, I want outta this dump! SkekUng laughed out loud. “Don't worry about it, Vera. Good ole Na Na here has been cranky as of late. We're not sure, but we think he has his period,” the former garthim master said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Harut (as SkekUng): Oh, did I forget to tell you Vera? SkekNa is really a Tumblr version of a transman. Marut (as SkekNa): SKEKUNG! I'M GONNA KILL YA! GAAAAAAAH! Harut (as SkekUng): GACK! Me and my big mouth. SkekNa shot a dirty glance towards Ung. He really was in no mood for jokes. “Fine,” he shot back. “I'll go request your damn song. Just don't expect this to be a regular thing. I have other shit to do tonight, and it doesn't involve you,” he shot back, unexpectedly catching Kira's eyes across the club. Mist Elmbarn (as SkekNa): Gack! SkekNa do this! SkekNa do that! It sucks I've been reduced to a pretty boy butt monkey. Life is hell! The former slave master had been pondering his little predicament for quite some time now. How long it had been going on, he just wasn't sure, nor could he remember. All he knew was that these dreams and thoughts about Kira were occurring more and more frequently, and he was losing more and more sleep. Mist Elmbarn: In his odd way of coping with stress in the human realm, SkekNa draws naughty fetish pics of Kira, and shares them on online fetish art sites. Harut: Where SkekNa has more page views than all the other Skeksis kin on that site. If he stayed awake, he thought of her. If he slept, he dreamed of her. While the thought eluded Kira that there may be some other force at play here, and only blamed it on her own insanity, the idea actually had occurred to SkekNa. Marut (as SkekNa): I hope to gods this was no love spell cast on me. If there was, I'm gonna kill that ass hole spell caster. He had no clue where it might be coming from, or where to begin to look, but what he did know was that Skeksis having romantic thoughts about gelflings was not something that ever occurred naturally. Maybe it was some sort of magic that the gelfling had fabricated her self. Then again, maybe not. Harut and Marut (as Johnny Cage and Liu Kang): Then again, MAYBE NOT! Perhaps the urRu were behind it, though for the life of him, he could not figure out why they would do such a thing. Was she having these thoughts as well? He didn't know. All in all, there was one place to begin, and he was dreading it with all his being. Mist Elmbarn: HA! Like the UrRu would have the willpower and motivation to do thing, instead of wallowing in depression, playing with sand art. Marut: I doubt the author is a true fan of Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal. Because she is getting The Dark Crystal lore ALL WRONG! Harut, Marut, Mist Elmbarn: FAKE FAN! FAKE FAN! FAKE FAN! Kira absent-mindedly watched him from 10 yards away as he approached the deejay booth to request the song Vera so badly wanted to hear. Not realizing how intensely she was staring, SkekNa turned, and gazed right back at her. Locking eyes for about five seonds, a sick feeling washed over Kira when she realized that she had been caught. Her heart jumped, and she looked away quickly. SkekNa shook his head to himself. Yes, something was definitely off kilter. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): AAAACK! Quit looking at me! Quit looking at me! WAAAAAAH! Nursing her drink ever so slowly, Kira tried to focus on the music, and pray silently to herself that he had not noticed the way she was looking at him. God, she was terrified. Nobody could ever know what was going through her head, let alone him. She did not even want to imagine the consequences, let alone even entertain the thought. Marut: Or else Kira might dragged down into Pee Wee Herman's fetish dungeon as a punishment. Mist Elmbarn (Breaking the fourth wall): Fanfic writers out there, write some fanfics about Pee Wee Herman's fetish dungeon! PRONTO! I'd love to read it when you are done. Just as she was about to get up and go back onto the dance floor, her friend Io approached her asking how she was doing, and why she hadn't seen her lately. Trying to maintain her composure and not think about problems at hand, she responded, “I'm okay. Just a lot going on lately. How about you?” She sounded so distant. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): I need to go home right now! They're playing a marathon of the Twilight movies on Starz tonight! “Awesome. Ganymede and Dionysus are over there by the pool table doing shots. Want to join us?” Marut: HA! They got nothing, compared to you Mist my dear. Mist Elmbarn: Oh you! (smiles and blushes) “You know Io, I think I'm going to pass on that. I have a headache as it is, and it's making it hard for me to think clearly. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): I have a huge brain tumor in my head, and this tumor, it's called “Badly executed, Out of Character Fan Fiction”! At this point, Kira knew any hard alcohol could potentially make her problem much worse than it already was. Harut, Marut, Mist Elmbarn (singing): Michelob....Sober days....Michelob....Sober days.....Michelob.....Sober days.....ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS! “Suit yourself, sweets! You're missing out!” Io grinned, flipping her long orangey blonde hair. Her friend's fun and fearless demeanor always had a way of helping her forget problems at hand. Harut: I think Io got her fashion sense from Ginger Spice of The Spice Girls. They sound like a spittin' image of one another. About an hour passed, and sipping on her bottle of Smirnoff, Kira found herself finally starting to relax a little bit. She was by herself, leaning up against the railing surrounding one side of the dance floor. The place was absolutely packed wall to wall, and everybody seemed involved within themselves, whether they were drinking, dancing, or something in between. Mist Elmbarn: And there, everyone in the nightclub hallucinates everybody around them having fish heads, and then, Hedorah, the Smog Monster, attacks the night club. Harut: Please Hedorah, we beg of you! Mercy kill all the characters, ending their suffering for good in this dive! PLEEEEEEEASE!?' Marut: Pretty please Hedorah? With sugar on top? Yes, life here couldn't be that bad, she thought. At least here she was amongst friends, living in one of the most exclusive places in the world, and even though her love life was in shambles, she still had so much to be thankful for. Contemplating going back out to the dance floor, she was about to move from her spot, when she saw out of the corner of her eye she was being approached by somebody from her left. She turned to see who it was, and when it registered, all the color drained from her face. Mist Elmbarn: And there, behind Kira, was a killer with a knife! THE END! Harut, Marut: OH WE WISH! (Groans) “Hello. Your name is Kira, correct?” It was really all the words SkekNa could force out of his mouth. Harut (as SkekNa): I break in to your house, and watch ya sleep. Isn't that romantic? Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): It would be even more romantic, if it was a sparkly fem-boy vampire, instead of a gijinka Skeksis. Marut: OOOOH! BUUUUUUURN! Stunned to the point of speechlessness, Kira's first instinct was to run, but her legs would not move. Her mouth agape, she just simply stared. Marut (as SkekNa): It's SNU SNU TIME! Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): No Mr. Skeksis.....NOOOOOOOOOO! “I don't know how to say this, but something is not right,” SkekNa said, raising his voice so he could be heard over the loud music. His tone was steady, but there was a long pause. Marut: He glared, then growled, and his skin was ice cold! A minute passed, the two of them just stood next to each other, staring out towards the dance floor, not knowing what to say next. Trying to stop herself from shaking, Kira finally was able to speak. “What in the hell do you want?” Harut (as SkekNa): I like gum! Marut (as Kira): That's great.... Dad....DAAAAAD! This otherkin weirdo won't leave me alone! It was the only words she could find that would remotely make any sense. Mist Elmbarn: Unlike the rest of this story. “I just know something is not right. There is something wrong in the air, and I don't know what it is. A bad chill, perhaps.” Harut (as a drunk SkekNa): GACK! Flying elves are back. (hic) (hic) Kira could not believe what she was hearing. No, she must not let her guard down, in spite of how much she wanted to get to the bottom of this. Blinking twice, she tried her best to maintain a confident stance. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): See! See! I'm no Bella Swan! I am Buffy Summers! Marut (as TV announcer): Next, on the WB! It's “Buffy: The Skeksis Slayer”! Mist Elmbarn: Still a better concept than this story. “What do you mean? I'm not sure I understand.” As coldly as the words came out, she was all too afraid she did understand. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): Are you speaking English? Or Weeaboo fanboy speak? “I think there's bad magic around us. I do not know if you yourself are the cause of this, and I hope for your sake you are not. I just want to find out what it is, and where it's coming from.” Harut (as Eros): Uh oh! I better hide that “Voodoo doll of love” from everyone! Kira wondered in amazement. Was it plausible he going through the same exact torment she was? Impossible. Still, his last statement sounded remotely like a threat, and she was not about to take kindly to that. Marut (as Cornholio from Beavis and Butthead): I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! Are you threatening me? “I do not respond to threats. SkekNa. That is your name, correct?” Mist Elmbarn (as SkekNa): Yeah, that's right....I'm just going to smile and nod....Heh heh.....Oh, WHO AM I KIDDING? (sob) (sob) (whine) “Yes, that is correct. Most who know me call me Na Na,” he replied, trying to sound as pleasant as possible. Mist Elmbarn: And there, the last remnants of SkekNa's former Skeksis dignity, has gone flying out the window. He was well aware he would not get any answers out of her if he could not get her guard down. “I wasn't threatening you. I just want to get to the bottom of this. You have nothing to fear from me for now, unless I find out otherwise.” Harut: Tonight, on CBS! The is a new series premier, called “Skeksis PI”! Now playing on prime time. “SkekNa.” Kira said his name as coldly as she could muster. “Even if hypothetically I did know what you were talking about. Why would you think that someone such as me would have the answers?” Mist Elmbarn (as a villager from Zelda II: The Adventures of Link): I'm sorry, I know nothing. Harut: That is the perfect summary of this fanfic version of Kira. “I honestly don't know. But I need to start somewhere, and you are the most obvious source.” Marut (as Torgo from Manos: The Hands of Fate): There is no way out of here...it will be dark soon....There is no way out of here! Just as he said this, they both noticed people around them were beginning to look toward them, more than likely finding it odd that a Skeksis and a gelfling would find anything to converse over voluntarily. Harut: Then, the gossip spread like wildfire, and all the tabloids were focused on the gijinka couple. “Whatever the case may be, we shouldn't discuss it here. Too many eyes are watching,” SkekNa stated matter-of-factly. Harut: Matter of factly? That's not a word, nor a sentence! Mist Elmbarn: I spy, with my little eye, a grammar error, as well as a word that doesn't exist in the English language. Now Kira was really in a dilemma. She had two choices. She could walk away, never speak to him, never look at him again, and continue on her life the best she could with misery still looming over her, or she could get to the bottom of this herself. Whatever the situation was, she knew he was right. There was something wrong in the air. Something such as this does not occur naturally. Who would do this, or be the cause of this? Marut: Now I am really starting to hate the author's version of Eros. Harut: Eros should have been the villain instead of the Skeksis. Mist Elmbarn: That, my friends, is not a sign of good writing. Was this some sort of sick joke? Sure, here in the Random House, given all the diverse residents here, including ones who had greater powers than she did, anything was possible. Perhaps maybe he himself, or all of them were behind this, in some sort of sick Skeksis experiment. Mist Elmbarn: HA! The Random House has castrated all the scariness out of the Skeksis, let alone, every movie monster the author decided to fandom rape. Harut: What happened to the movie monsters we know and love. Marut (sighs): They have tragically, become fuel for the fangirl wild fires. Mist Elmbarn: Because Lord forbid that fangirls would write lemons about the monsters that are monstrous. Harut: It's like these fangirls think with their groins, and not their brains. Marut, Mist Elmbarn: BINGO! That was spot on! Yes, she had heard stories of the experiments they performed on living creatures including her own kind during their reign in the Crystal Castle. This thought frightened her in more ways than one. Yet, looking into his eyes, she knew this not to be true. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): Because now the Skeksis are hot, sexy, anime pretty boys, I can forgive their rotten behavior, and forget they were once evil. As much as he tried to hide it from her, she saw the desperation she herself was so familiar with. If he was indeed going through the same misery she was, perhaps they could be of assistance to each other. The idea seemed so ridiculous, any Skeksis was never to be trusted, but at this time it was the only lead she had. Marut: No thanks to Eros! All fingers of blame point to Eros! “Where would we go?” she heard herself ask. Harut (as SkekNa): I wanna get outta this fanfic, and go back to Thra! (breaks down crying his eyes out) “Somewhere that's not here. Do you have a car?” Harut (as SkekNa): Is that a plane ticket to Japan I see there? Can I please go there, and spend the last of my humiliating days on Earth, in the Aokigahara Forest? PLEASE?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! “Yes.” She did not like where this conversation was headed, but he was right, people were beginning to take notice, and she did not want to end the discussion. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): Yes....YES! Go to Japan, and hang out in the Aokigahara Forest for all I care....! Whew, that would be one less pretty boy Skeksis otherkin to deal with. “I promise gelfling, at this time I mean you no harm. Harut (as SkekNa): Yeah, I'm such a nice guy. I am soooo not an incel. Nope nope nope! Marut: It's not like SkekNa has a choice, because, Random House rules and what not. I will let you drive, so you are at all times in control. I just want answers, as I'm sure you do as well. Tell me where you are parked, and I will meet you there five minutes after you leave. Otherwise, we need to end this discussion here.” Unable to look at her directly, he continued to point his gaze towards the dance floor. Mist Elmbarn (as Kira): AWWWW! How cute! You're blushing, Mr. Skeksis! “You really think I would get in a car with you.” “If you know of which I speak, yes.” Marut (as SkekNa): Now my gijinka Gelfling! Drive us to the nearest “Lover's Lane”, PRONTO! As much as Kira hated the idea of being a car alone with him, she too wanted answers, and knew her torment would not stop until she had them. Mist Elmbarn(as Kira): HUMPH! Fine...I'll drive us to the nearest “Lover's Lane”. There, HAPPY NOW!? “I am parked in deck 2 row A. I drive a white Honda Civic.” Kira was hoping this was a decision she would not come to regret. Harut: Three chapters down, eleven more to go...(sighs) Harut, Marut, and Mist (as Charlie Brown): AAARGH! GOOD GRIEF!

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