the sad clown i've played a circus actjust to make everyone smilenot just because i only sawthe evil this world brings in me,but because i've walked a milejust to see someone prove me wrong. when everyone followed the flashing lightsand crowded for short-term famei wanted to bring a flowerin this pile of corpses i'm a lab rat,test monkey,and an experimentto the big guys up above.i've never fell into their traps or their promises,but i feel like i'm their little sidekick just for existing. i've wanted to surrender my soulto smile again and to laugh at somethingi've wanted to mock the suffering, tobe their spokesman, to blend in. but is it worth the price?they would rather see me with the fisheseven if i were to give them what they want.i would never be accepted, and at the endthere's nothing that i'll really be able to gain. i'm going to run awayto hide in a place where i can dissapearbut retain my lifei'd rather be the sad clown than the happy executioner.one who stands before the cherubim: part 201/07/2007 "Karina, I'll be late. Hope you're doing well." During Joel's commute from work, when the bus went into Corey's neighborhood due to the car crash, he saw something strange. He saw a weird blue glow and heard screaming inside. He got off on the bus stop two houses from Corey's and knocked on the door. "Corey, are you OK? I heard screaming from your house." Corey opened the door slowly, looking like he had food poisoning. He greeted him at the door and acted like his usual cheerful self, but something felt off. "You good? You look like you haven't slept in days. Sleep on the couch for a bit, it's fine. I just wanted to know what was going on." Corey said, "Nothing bad. So...there was this giant...cockroach in my home office that landed on me and shot it's goop on my leg. The weird lights aren't from my house, I think the neighbors are partying again. I made something for you in the kitchen!" Joel walked into the kitchen, and everything looked alright, until he went to a trash can to throw some garbage out. There was strange black goop with blue areas, and it kept pulsating. Corey prepared him some homemade smashburgers and french fries made of sweet potatoes. Joel, while grateful for his offer, was confused. Corey was not the type to enjoy fast food, let alone prepare them. Maybe Corey was just making something new. Joel then saw the weird glow from upstairs, proving Corey wrong. While the lights from before weren't very obvious if they were coming from Corey's house or somewhere behind, he was certain something weird happened. Joel felt that it was impolite to sneak into Corey's room without his permission, so he tried to bring up the light from upstairs for permission. He then heard screaming from said room that sounded a lot like Corey himself. Joel entered the room and his jaw dropped. A corpse resembling Corey was laying on the cieling, surrounded with black and blue goop and screaming like a banshee, vomiting said goop. The corpse sprout wings and started to attack him. "YOU HURT ME. YOU LEFT ME FOR DEAD. I WILL REMEMBER YOU." Joel didn't remember doing anything that hurt Corey much, and was confused and didn't know if the corpse was Corey himself and the Corey he talked to was an impostor, or the corpse was an impostor. The corpse managed to grab onto Joel's jacket, and attempted to choke him, until Joel managed to grab a very sharp glass shard and said, "I'm sorry...I needed to protect myself. Please forgive me." Joel thrust the shard on the corpse's heart, and it's goop dissapeared suddenly. The corpse looked normal, and Joel heard something from the corpse. "Please...I'm sorry...The guy over there....egregore....The Watchers...." Joel stared at the corpse, and then saw a bunch of pamphlets and weird items. He suddenly got flashbacks of his childhood. He then saw a familiar symbol on Corey's leg. 6 eyes. A vine that resembled barb wire. A weird circular sun with an eye and rays. The Order of the Watchers got him. Joel walked home and held Corey to the backyard. He gave Corey a peaceful burial in his garden, where he spent much of his days. "I'm sorry they found you and hurt you. I and Karina will get vengeance."one who stands before the cherubim: part 101/06/2007 "hey, sweetie, i'm gonna be at soleil and alex's apartment. my car is being repaired, so i'll be taking the bus. see you there!" "thanks, jojo <3" Terri was waiting for Soleil or Alexandra to open the door after ringing the bell. Just as she was about to look at her phone, Alexandra opened the door, and greeted her. "Hey, Terri. How are you?" Terri responded, "Terrible. The rain damaged my hair and the wind kept fucking with my umbrella. Is it ok if I leave it next to the radiator for it to dry?" Alexandra told her it would be a bad idea and gave her a plastic bag. After that, Terri sat in the living room couch, and turned on the TV, but was dissapointed that Survivor would not be playing for 4 hours. "You got any DVDs? I hate daytime television." Alexandra gave her 3 of her DVDs to Terri. The first one was a shitty gore film about a bear possessed by the devil killing people for no reason. The second was some sort of Twilight parody. The last was a documentary that her favorite band, Cherry Novocaine, released last year. It was a prog/emo fusion band that Terri was familiar with due to Joel playing one of their songs on their first date, but not remembering which song he played specifically, only on their most popular album, Blood on the Beach. She planned to watch the documentary until Soleil came out of the kitchen. Soleil greeted her with a more light and silly tone than Alexandra. Terri hugged her and Soleil told her that she wanted to show something she just made. When Terri got into her room, she was more than stunned. Soleil's room felt like the I Spy books she read during her youth, and of a mad scientist's. It was covered in psychidelic artwork, weird machines, and silly trinkets. "Terri, you good?" Terri nodded and stated, "Where is your little machine of yours?" Soleil told her, "Just let me get it. It's fragile and I spent last week on it. It's for communicating with aliens. I also gotta get my notebook." Terri was about to chuckle. She never believed aliens were real and felt that most alien sighting stuff was just bullcrap. However, she was too nice to voice her opinions on Soleil's machine. Soleil showed her the machine. It looked like a radio from the 70s, but with a big screen that said "ALIEN TRANSMISSION NOT DETECTED" and "S.L. FISCHER 2007" "So Terri, I use this to contact alien signals from outer space. I've read documents that NASA uses for their spacecraft. I'm quite good at math and shit, and I think I've gotten a couple. It takes a while, but you know what they say, Rome wasn't built in a day. It's portable, but I usually keep it in my house or the balcony if I can't take it outside to get better signals. I also heard some signals from my brother Corey's house, but he hasn't talked to me for a while. I think he's sick but he hasn't texted me. I hope he's doing well." Terri wished Soleil well, and looked at the machine. She stared attentively at Soleil, as she attempted to turn on the machine, but wouldn't recieve signals. "DAMN STUPID MACHINE WON'T FUCKING WORK!!!!" Although Terri didn't know much about engineering, let alone experimental machines built for alien transmissions, she tried to comfort Soleil and asked her for some chips. Soleil accepted her offer. The door rang, and Soleil went to the door, and when she opened it, Joel came. "Jojo, what happened? It's been 25 minutes." Joel stated, "Terri, please forgive me. The bus was delayed and there was a car crash on the usual route. I had to take a 10 minute detour." Terri offered her a hug and comforted him. "I understand." He then put his coat and umbrella on the coat hanger and an umbrella bag. She showed him Soleil's machine, and Joel was more into Soleil's machine than Terri. Joel believed in the supernatural and aliens, but never really made any of these machines. Joel stared at the machine, while Terri and Alexandra watched the Cherry Novocaine documentary. "Jojo, remember this band? It reminds me of you....OH WAIT THE SONG FROM OUR DATE! JOJO COME!!!!" Joel came and watched the documentary with her and Alexandra. He didn't like the band as much as when he used to play their songs with Terri, but watched it anyway. While they watched TV in the living room, Soleil detected something weird. A big signal for the first time, but didn't feel alien. Felt something....occult. Aggressive. Eldritch as well. Soleil stared at the machine, ready to record the results.one who stands before the cherubim: prologueplease help me. my house is haunted by weird black goop creatures that are giving me flashbacks. i don't know what to do. i should've never messed with these occult artifacts i found in my house. i dont know how they got here, for the love of god. i was watching tv, and it was acting weird despite it being new. then all of a sudden i saw this black spider thing chase me and tell me "you have upset everyone. you will never be loved and you must be burned alive to get rid of ur evil." i also keep seeing these things staring at me. one of them has crystals that seem to glow blue and has an eye surrounded by black goop, and looks like some robot. another one of those things has five eyes, has a blue body that i can't fully see, has giant ass firey wings, and keeps staring at me. there's a third one but fuck, i don't know how to describe it. i'm in the attic, and to keep myself from being attacked by whatever these things are, i used a salt circle. my dumbass sister watches ghost movies and puts salt circles around me to ward off "ghosts". i also did research a while ago and i think this could help me. please help me. 01/04/07 one of those things spit goop in my mouth. my body is acting weird. my skin has turned gray, i'm bleeding all over both blood and the goop. there's also weird extra bones that look like wings on my back, but they strangely don't hurt. some of my legs are flayed. i'm going to die! help! my location is at: ███████████████████████████████████ 01/05/07 "you abandoned me. i turned to sandalphon, and █████ to find you. i will never forget what you did. i wanted you to be with me forever. you left me...""jenny"as she stands at the beach,the sea flowing like blood,the sense of evil around her,her eyes bleed out the tears that she's cried for ages,deep down in her soul, there is a hole in her heart, all she sees are the eyes staring at her,a bloodied corpse levitating in the void,and the monsters she couldn’t stop. the world she desired burns around her,her face empty and catatonic,her emotions on fire. she lands back on the beach,still terrified and heartbroken,but her soul has not flown away.she finds her old guitar laying on a rock,still working despite the wear and tear,and her despair flows out, not to escape like 80 guinea pigs in a hole,but to melt, like the facade she always contained.merely a husk“as I stare at my burnt wingsand crawl through the empty world around me,I always see the eyes of those who suffer at the handsof the ones who they were taught to trust.I always knew we were lied to our whole livesand that all that they wanted from us was our bloodbut before, I wanted to be like icarus,escaping my cruel reality, and feeling free.i feel the scars of their souls, and feel the fangs ofthe basilisk.i am merely prey, i am merely fresh meat,my soul is here just to be consumed by an ouroboros.but I refuse to let myself rot, I want to persistto retain what I have, and to keep my soul.either I fight back and sufferor I give up and become nothing”the dying crowi was vanished to hell as punishment for not feeding the snake that consumes and releases as the vines pierce my veins and soul and my skin cracks and leaks blood i pass out on the floor my mouth bleeds out and when i wake i hear the cry of a bird that sounds like my screams i find him under a rock it's alive but doesn't look like it it seems to be in the same condition i'm in it's wings bleed and it's bones stick out some of it's feathers were plucked out i poured a river of tears and he stared at me the crow responded by scratching my face and arms despite the anger i felt towards it i refused to attack it back i knew it's suffering, it's cries for help never answered, and it's want for revenge i feel it's despair and will to die i don't have much but i try to heal it and keep it alive it still screeches at me sometimes it still attacks me when his trauma attacks his brain like a hawk grabs a snake it refuses to look at those not in this hell but for some reason it got attached to me and refuses to leave me side now it has fully healed physically though the mental damage has yet to fully heal now it can fly and it's wings work again, albeit weak and frail it wants to fly but it doesn't want to leave me then my back started to ache feathers and bones sticking out blood leaking out of my scars new and old seems to be from the crow's love for me seems to be a gift for the fact i brought it's flight back as the bones and feathers increase they start forming wings like the crow, but way bigger we are learning how to fly we still can't escape the hole forced on us but one day we will fly together back home under the moonlightlonelinessit's surprising i even remember your faceafter everything taken from mei don't even know who i am anymore am i still one with a soul?just a vessel for them to bleed out?just a robot made of gore? you're the only one who cares about meyou're the only one i want to seewill they keep me from being with you? despite my voice being like a lancei am no longer part of the devil's dancethey crave for me to return i sometimes think of my pastwhen i remembered my innocence's days of lastbut unlike you they just only want me to burn