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SCP-6108: Schlemo's Wholesale by family_staralternate_emailDXL44

posted 2 years ago, edited 2 years ago

Schlemo's Wholesale is one of those more recent SCP articles that's just endearing. Wacky extradimensional Costco? Of course.

Schlemo himself only appears in one image, and he's rather small, so I decided to make some art of him! I love him. What a guy. AND since the store's logo was never shown in the article, I threw in my own take on one at the top.

You can read the original article by Malvarik here. This art can also be found on the SCP Wiki here.

digital fanart inkscape scp scp6108 scpfoundation vector

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Convenient StoreIt was a story like any other. A hero, on her way through a dungeon. Guided like a missile towards whatever horror was guarding its treasure. She carried a cutlass in her right hand and a shield in her left - both were bathed in an orange hue from the light of the torches on the walls. Both were already showing a bit of wear from hacking through and pushing back the creatures in the corridors. As the hero approached a corner, she looked from side to side as if yet another one would jump out. With a quick slicing motion, she lunged at one that was lurking in the corner- "Woah, WOAH. HEY. Hold on-" The skeleton's quick protests did him no good, as he had barely managed to avoid the woman's sword. It pierced his ribcage, impacting the wall behind him and puncturing his formerly good shirt. He'd need a new one. "I said hold on! Jeez. C'mon, you don't just swing that thing at everyone you meet, do you?" He attempted to push the sword away from him as the hero held her grip on its firm. Her arm was still extended as she raised an eyebrow in confusion. None of the other creatures here had talked . And this skeleton's head was…oddly cubic. "And why should I…?" She tilted the sword slightly, as if taunting the skeleton. Her voice was unamused at best. In response, the skeleton simply pointed down to the counter that was at his side. SKELECUBE'S STOREFRONT She silently pulled out the sword as the skeleton fell to the ground. After a second, he pulled himself up and seemingly straightened a few loose bones. He placed a single skeletal finger to the hole now in his shirt, felt at it for a second, and sighed. "Now, I know we started off on the wrong foot." Skelecube explained as he began shuffling through a bag of wares. "But do not fear! I am no less enthusiastic to serve you as a customer regardless. Probably shoulda thought it out better, honestly. Who tucks away a shop behind a corner?" He was rambling on at this point. Perhaps a bit too much, as he was soon interrupted. "How did you get down here?" She was confused, and already a bit tired of this pile of bones. "I just am." He smiled as if a child hiding a secret. "That's not important though. What's important is that YOU -" he pointed once again, this time towards the protagonist - " -need something to take down whatever boss lies ahead. The big bad of this dungeon. The summit of the metaphorical mountain. Whatever you wanna call it, you're lacking in gear." Skelecube eyed the sword that had impaled him. The hero quickly realized and lifted it up from her side to hold it pointed upwards. Her own examination revealed nothing different than usual. "I'm sorry," The hero inquired, "How so? This cutlass - it was my mother's, then my grandmother's, then her mother's. It has lasted for generations . The magical energy in it does more than enough. I was told it was the only weapon I'll need, and I plan on keeping it that way ." She was awfully defensive. Had Skelecube struck a nerve? He could only guess, but that wasn't why he was in this particular dungeon. He wasn't here to mess with people. "Yes, yes, I guessed as much. I'm not here to sell you a sword. Or any weapons, really!" The merchant dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hands - resulting in an unamused reaction. "But no matter how powerful it is, you don't expect it to do as well against solid metal, do you? Like a giant chunk of it." The hero narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "...Elaborate." The merchant knew something she didn 't. So far, she had only been up against standard, run-off-the-mill monsters. Some had armor, but nothing too thick. "Well," he spoke as he retrieved a smaller bag from below the countertop, "I know you've only been up against those standard, run-off-the-mill guys with barely half an inch of armor on them. They might look dumb, but the one leading them isn 't. Those guys are giving you a false sense of security." The merchant removed the small thread holding the bag together and turned it upside down. Several eight-sided crystals tumbled out onto the storefront. He attempted to organize them into a line of sorts. "That's why you'll need one of these. Specifically, this. " With the last word, Skelecube pushed a glowing red one forward. The hero crouched down to inspect it - it seemed as if the inside of it was flickering with flame. "Cool rocks. But what do they do?" She spoke again with a hint of taunting. "These are your power ups. Your aces in the hole. Each of these crystals - elemental crystals, if you will-" "Elemental crystals! Hah!" The protagonist burst into laughter. "-I know, the name's dumb. But it explains what they do, it's accurate! I didn't make it, though. Trust me, I wouldn't give something a name that hard to market." Skelecube picked up another crystal and held it out in the palm of his bony hand, which was bathed in the object's ambient light. "You hold one in a hand like this, crush it into a fist, and then it gives you AND any gear you're holding a particular elemental ability for a short amount of time." He placed the crystal back into the row, pushing it with a single finger. "That red one? It's the fire one. Will let you cut metal in half with that sword, and will ignite your punches. All for the low price of…say, what currency do you use again?" "Shards." "Right. 135 shards." He nodded. "So, you interested?" The hero paused to consider. She did have plenty of spending money right now. It wouldn't be much of a bother to entertain the shopkeeper and purchase something. She didn't even have to use it. "Sure," she replied as she placed a cluster of shards on the table. "Excellent! It's yours. By the way, it comes with…" Skelecube fumbled around for a second, as he pulled out a small paper card. He took a mental instrument and punched a hole in it before sliding it across to the protagonist. "This. Punch card. Y'know, for if you ever come back." As she stepped into the treasure room of the dungeon, the protagonist looked at her sword. Her hands and the weapon were still glowing with heat from the crystal that the shopkeeper had given her. It had allowed her to cleave through that possessed metal statue as if she were driving a knife through butter. On cue, the light retracted from her sword as she felt the heat of her hands diminish. Her equipment hit the ground to her side with a clang as she freed up her hands to use both in opening the chest. With a single pull, a pile of radiant shards was unveiled. At its center, a diamond - the diamond she had been looking for. Her eyes widened as she gasped in awe. If she turned around, she would have seen the shopkeeper watching her collect the spoils from behind. He smiled. Another day, another dollar, and most importantly - another happy customer. With his bag of wares in hand, the skeleton turned to exit through a hole that wasn't there. Skelecube stepped through it and looked back a final time as it closed. He took a mental note to return to this story in the future - not only to do business, but to see how it would further unfold.

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