super sorry to say it, but I just can't operate my device on sheezy anymore. xD probably not until (fingers crossed?) there's that major site overhaul I've seen them talking about. I just have a laptop and its kinda old, and sheezy overheats it really badly if Im here for more than just ten minutes or so, regardless of how many web features I disable. I also cannot cope with the notifications system not clearing things Ive already commented on.
I've pared down my following list to bare bones, and want to encourage anyone who'd like to unfollow me bc Im inactive to please feel free, you won't hurt my feelings or anything. if you want to reach me for anything or want to be like 'hey come back, sheezy did their site overhaul,' you can find/message me on my tumblr.
i am going to go through/comment on 1 page of notifications every day until my current sheezy backlog [squints] of 316 art pieces has been fully conquered
edit: currently 3 days/5 pages in (been doing a little extra per day if I feel up to it) and im screaming & wailing wishing it was possible to remove/check off individual notifications rraaagghhh that number is making me fcking crazy
edit 2: I hate that unchanging unassailable number so much that Im now halfway through the notifications. perhaps will finish in another 3 days instead of the 30 it would have taken me lmao.
think I might be dealing with some burnout xD not solely artistic burnout, but that's part of it for sure.
I've had a huge mental load to handle since basically october regarding unfortunate irl stuff, and have also been away from most of my drawing tools for several weeks. I'd thought originally that getting back home after the holidays would mean getting back to my usual activity but that just hasn't happened lol. I still have some stuff I really want to do artistically like writing and drawing for my personal projects (AND. also. lol I started playing bg3 and have been struck with motivation to make fanart for the first time since like 2016) but I want to keep it all for myself and not make it polished and pretty for posting. just messing around having fun. I feel exhausted by the thought of being online right now I guess. and I don't have literally any motivation to draw the polished scenery art that usually brings in people who want to connect with what I draw. like I don't want to draw the Crowd Pleasers right now if that makes sense. I want to draw Shit <3 and also I want to write and i almost never share my writing because I'm a sentimental little bitch with my words.
as an aside to all that, for a few years I've tried really hard to be engaged with online spaces and to like, Be Present and Be A Fan of other creatives because I think everyone creating online deserves that. but Im starting to think I am trying too hard and spreading myself too thin. I have 5-6 different haunts I always check and I really wanted to include Sheezy in that but I gotta say the notification system here is particularly demanding insofar as it requires a lot of focus for me to sort through and navigate.
The "feed" function kind of destroys my computer overheating-wise and the alternative method of having an actual numerical counter on "latest artworks" is not much better considering in order to check them I have to open each artwork on a separate page. and then also you can't check off individual drawings, you can only "clear" the notifications if you mark them all as "read" in one fell swoop. Ive got 167 notifications right now going back a couple months and it just feels insurmountable to check all of them at once. but I can't even decide to whittle it down by checking 5 a day or something because it won't change until I've checked all of them. which seems silly because yea, I'd still be physically whittling down by actually getting my eyes and hopefully some comments on them. but the perception of the number is genuinely hard for me to reckon with xD
in addition to me trying occasionally to be on sheezy I also check + comment regularly on a forum site, tumblr, patreon, youtube, toyhouse, and discord, plus do my best to keep up with several webcomics and I am just. tired. of. being online. sheezy's notification system is killing me the most so Im having the most trouble being here regularly out of all of those places so that compounds the numbers-piling-up issue. I guess "follow less people" is an option but it's also hard to decide to just start removing artists from my follow list that I genuinely like? also I'm following less than 100 people here to begin with. actually less than 70 last time I checked. and some of those folks aren't even uploading regularly there's just also tons of really amazing prolific artists here.
even when I do have art to post it's really hard for me to do so if I haven't been keeping up with other parts of the community because I don't feel like I should really be adding to my page if I haven't been present and involved. like I really do not do art to bring in income or take me anywhere professionally, I only do it to have fun or be proud of what I make, and a big part of me having fun with my art is being involved in creative communities. so it feels a little empty and hollow to post if Im not also engaging with other people's posts. so I think that's a big part of why I've gotten to this point of like, I just want to do my own thing and not post anywhere and just have some downtime to myself with my own creative whims.
anyways I got to the end of that paragraph and abruptly ran out of steam so I don't have a thoughtful closing line to add xD tl;dr I'm aware I've not been active here and I am not in a good place right now to jump back in. if I follow you and you do have something up right now that doesn't have much interaction and you'd like me to see it please feel free to comment on this journal with it! maybe getting some stuff shown to me directly will help me kickstart returning to activity here so you'd be doing me a favor too. <3
just wanted to apologize for my absence the past few weeks. x'] it's not sheezy specifically though, I can say that much. I've basically been on hiatus from the entire internet for a while. idk when for sure I'll be back around, dealing with a lot irl and been using non-social things to cope, like reading/writing and singleplayer games. I'll probably post another journal when I expect to be logging on regularly again. <3 take care everyone
If you have a tumblr account it'd mean the world to me if you'd be up for voting in a poll I posted. ^o^
idk I want SO BAD to tell stories and have people who want to hear them XD but it has been a huge struggle for me trying to post OC art or writing and find interaction. it feels kind of weird sometimes bc I know I'm inherently begging for attention in doing this but I also can't stop wanting it long enough to stop trying xD
the poll is basically just which tactics you like to see oc creators use when they put their characters out in the world! :] things like memes/dramatic pieces/AUs, etc. I'd appreciate it!