Chapter 1: Lorry

It was the approach to a sign to a small service station on the A1 that Leslie Byers decided it was time for a quick break. He hadn't stopped driving since setting off from South London at 8:35am - rounding the endless M25, and crossing the Dartford Tunnel, before taking a short cut along the M11, his bright red BWM 3 Series was by now looking a little dusty. 

It was now 11:30, and he was nearing Grantham...or passing it...he wasn't certain - although he knew that he wanted to take a break. 

The A1 is not a motorway - and as such, the service station was found by crossing over the carriage way by a roundabout running under the UK's longest bypass.

Leslie dove around the full car park, looking for a spot where his new car wouldn't get pranged by another motorist, but he couldn't find anywhere, and settled for a spot on the edge of the car park, near to the lorry park - at least here, if anybody parked next to him, only one side might get slightly damaged. 

If Leslie was more technically minded, he might have considered that any door panel prang is easily remedied by pouring boiling water on the car to loosen up the metal, and then using a toilet plunger, any indentation could be brought right out. 

Whilst not technical, he was certainly cautious - which is why his bosses sent him out to check up on their investments nationally. This meant a lot of driving, as most company assets were located nowhere near a railway station - more often than not, intercity trains would bypass the power, aggregate, and petroleum facilities at 125mph.

Leslie ordered an espresso with a packet of fruit pastels - he needed to be alert, yet he did not care very much for the taste of the espresso.

He rubbed his eyes, and started browsing the newspaper left behind on the table. 

Outside in the car park, Leslie's red car sat in the sunshine. A big, tatty looking wagon pulled up outside, casting a big shadow on the BMW. 

Inside, sipping his coffee, and taking two fruit pastels, Leslie unwinded, when suddenly, a rather bizarre looking man in a fur coat, wearing sunglasses and a cowboy hat over long hair, with a sudden bang, sat next to Leslie. 

Leslie stared at the man - if not for his sudden entrance, then his camp appearance and mannerisms - a cross between Cruella DeVille and Biggles. 

Once he sat down, the man stared back at Leslie for a moment, before taking off his sunglasses. 

"My name is Ted" 

Uncomforted, Leslie looked around at the otherwise empty food court, feeling singled out. 

"Ok? My name is Leslie" he responded with a slight lisp.

"Leslie eh? That's a bit of a girl's name, isn't it?"

Leslie thought that Ted was one to talk. This man sitting on the table across from him was obviously a nutter, trying to screw with Leslie mentally. Perhaps he was doing it for a bet? Eitherway, Leslie didn't make management without knowing a trick or two.

"We don't pick our names" Leslie responded, trying to defuse the situation promptly. 

"What are you driving, Leslie?"

"I took the bus", now trying to get back to reading the paper. 

"A bus eh? There wasn't one in the car park when I came in just now."

"Oh it must have left, I better go and see where it is..." making his coffee 'to go', by closing the lid. Just before Leslie stood up, Ted whacked his entire arm down on Leslie's table. Leslie stopped where he stood, his eyes running up from the hand, along the arm, and arrived at Ted's gaze. 

"Do you know, what the fastest-est vehicle on the road is, Leslie" Ted said, childishly confrontational.

Leslie didn't think of his response for more than a second, "A ferrari?"

"Think bigger" Ted responded, in a whisper, shaking his head. 

"A...Bugatti Veyron?"

"No..." Ted whispered back, then drew in closer, "...it's a lorry. Nobody goes faster than a lorry". Ted then stood up, and walked out of the cafe. 

'What a nut job' Leslie thought to himself. 

He waited until Ted left, before leaving, making a quick detour via the toilets, before heading back to his car. Leslie tried to shake off the conversation in the service station, and he regained his confidence once he put his seatbelt on, started the ignition, and pulled out of the car park, heading for the great North road. 

Leslie had not noticed the Lorry which had cast a shadow on his car after he had arrived, because when Leslie got back to his car, it had gone. However, it was now back, and drew to a halt to watch Leslie pass the exit sign. 

Getting back onto the carriageway, Leslie settled into the remainder of his long journey North. Another hour and a half, and he would be in Doncaster. 

In the distance, he could see two lorries overtaking one another on the two lane road, effectively blocking the road until the overtaking lorry took over. 

Leslie slowed down his car to around 53mph. 

It seemed to take forever - and Leslie grew impatient - he realised this, and tried to calm down a little. He took out a fruit pastel. Chewing on the sweet, he looked in his rear view mirror, to see an empty road reflected back at him. Leslie wondered if more cars would encourage the overtaking lorry not to bother, draw back, and go behind the other lorry - the difference between their speeds could only have been 3mph. 

The two lorries and the car rounded a corner. Leslie's impatience grew - as the lorries now started to slow to 48mph. 

He gazed into his rear view mirror again to see another lorry fast approaching - it was the very same lorry Leslie did not see at the service station, but it was driven by somebody Leslie did see at the service station. 

The lorry furiously tore up the carriageway at 78mph, taking up both lanes on the tight corner. 

Leslie was ill-at-ease at the sight of this, but knew that the lorry would stop, despite some potential tailgating. 

Irritated, Leslie slammed on the car's horn - it didn't make a difference to the two road hogs before him. 

Suddenly, the lorry ploughed into the back of the BMW - it's red boot-lid not looking to shiney now - as it was crushed under the weight of the ten ton truck. 

Unable to defend itself against the hunters' oscillation of the impact, the car was pushed sideways, and slightly rolled over, and it started to be forced into the back of the lorry in front. 

Leslie's smashed window now looked directly up at the lorry cab, where a bloodied-nosed Leslie looked up in horror, as Ted looked back at him. 

With a sneer, and in his signature deep, booming voice, Ted shouted: "A lorry is the fastes-test vehicle on the road - because nothing stops it going to where it gets to!"

Ted roared in maniacal laughter, as Leslie slipped back into his car, as it continued to be propelled along the carriageway...