- He/Him
- It/Its
#1 Laios Touden fan
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random journal but i have so much respect for base artists. even 2016 levels of cringe culture could never make me hate you. maybe I just sucked at using them but imo its so hard to get it to look good. respect o7
also why did we shit on resources made for artists, especially for beginner artists. like everybody always went on and on about how it was "lazy" but like idk. i think you're the weird one for looking down on people who want to make their art process easier or just want to have fun.
get off your high horse and play touys with the rest of us
deciding its ok to share this because in hindsight these are kinda funny. also im medicated so now I only have normal fears, like going outside. heh 😏
- If I couldn't see the clouds moving in the sky that meant the earth had stopped spinning, meaning there was no more oxygen being made and I was going to slowly suffocate and DIE. But if I looked at a clock (and the clock HAD to be inside) and it was moving, everything would be fine.
- Somehow unrelated but if I couldn't see any of the clocks in the house moving then it meant time had stopped and I was going to die. Or something bad was going to happen.
- (in 2012) The world was going to end but if I, and only I, could stay up past midnight every day until the new year then the world would be saved. It "reset" the progress of the world ending or something. Since we're still here maybe it worked lol.
- I couldn't watch Finding Bigfoot (and similar shows) at night otherwise bigfoot/a cryptid would break into my house and kill me in my sleep. Same with alien shows except when I watched them during the day the blinds had to be closed otherwise they would see and know that I knew too much, but I guess at night they were able to tell anyway.
- Also if I was watching or playing anything where any kind of natural disaster or apocalypse happens, even if it was something that could only happen in fiction/fantasy, then I had to shut all of the blinds otherwise it would happen In Real Life.
- There was an asteroid orbiting Earth that only I knew about and if I thought about it too much or told anybody, it would crash into Earth and kill everybody. Every time I heard a plane going overhead I had to hide and cover my ears because it might be the asteroid and if I couldn't see or hear it then it wouldn't crash.
- Everybody else could read minds except for me and I could only think "pure"/"normal" thoughts every time I wasn't alone, especially around adults, because if I didn't then I would be reported to... Somewhere or someone. And if it happened too often or the thoughts were too "evil", then whoever I got reported to would take me away and kill me.
- Cats. Which is insane because I love them and even have a cat of my own now.
i know you just have to draw "bad" art when artblocked to eventually get back to where you were before artblock ("bad" in quotes because I don't believe in bad art). but ummm. what if we didn't have to do that. what if we could just be good at art forever.
what if everybody thinks I'm a fraud because my art is suddenly worse. even though everybody knows art isn't linear. is this a normal fear everybody else has or am I uniquely messed up.
crying throwing up etc etc. its so bad I'm genuinely thinking of opening blender. idk what I'm going to do in blender either, but it'll be a suffering different from the one i feel now
its dunmeshi themed now. here
the last one was kinda busy so I stripped everything back and started over. its more minimalistic but still includes all of the necessary information one would need to know about me. i like when people go all-out with their go-to aesthetic on their carrds, but it just never seems to work when I do it.
also my site got taken offline when I mentioned being trans and queer, so I deleted and reuploaded it with those removed and I haven't had an issue yet. strange!
in general, I'm still figuring out how much information I should keep to myself or my friends and what information I feel like I can afford to share to... everybody else I guess. i want to be approachable and the kind of person just about anybody can talk to and maybe talk about my own experiences with certain things if it's appropriate to and will help others, but I need to figure out where the line is between "that isn't information anybody is entitled to" and "sharing this is harmless and maybe it'll help me connect with new people". am I making sense?
its why I stopped talking about my disorders and slowly removed all mentions of them everywhere except the places I thought were absolutely necessary. i enjoyed talking with other people who shared the same experiences I do, but at the same time it introduced me to a lot of negativity I otherwise wouldn't have been exposed to. double-edged sword or whatever. anyway idk where I'm going with this so I'm going to shut up now