Here, have a vent.

This is basically what's constantly going on in my head when it comes to everything I struggle with as a team leader. Traumatic events and everything like that just makes things a million times harder than what they need to be and I have to be the one who watches everyone leave me behind and leave me to wonder why did I mess everything up, what did I do wrong, where did I make the mistake, all of that. I'm always blaming myself for every little thing because I don't want others to be upset. But that makes them upset too. If anything, the only thing I want is just to be good enough.