- he/him
- she/her
- bun/buns
Hiya! I'm Azure, the pink-loving queer romantic!
(Crossposted from my site.)
When I was a little kid, the dinky little screen on my handheld of choice was my portal to a magical world, in which every moment I spent felt special. But now, I am an adult. And things feel different.
Of course, I still enjoy games. They are my favorite storytelling medium; I dedicate so much of my online presence to celebrating video games for exactly this reason. But my enjoyment of them has changed as I've grown, and I've wondered why that is.
It's not necessarily that I believe that video games were "better" back then. I think that there are good and bad qualities to how gaming has evolved, but I don't think older games are generally of higher quality. A lot of my favorite games are modern. In Stars and Time, for example, released just a little over 2 years ago, and I consider that game to be an absolute masterpiece of its medium. And, besides, I don't get that feeling I had as a child, even while playing the games I played as a kid, or old games from that era that I haven't played before.
Now, as I'm telling you this, I'm sure you've already come to a conclusion that I've seen a lot of people come to: that this is a product of nostalgia. The bad memories of childhood fade away as we grow up, and the good parts remain, leaving behind only an idyllic, blurry vision of one's childhood in our adult memories. And I'm not about to claim that nostalgia has nothing to do with it. I'm a rather nostalgic person, I'll be the first to admit. But I also don't think that's the whole story.
I don't think that it is productive to discard your desire for how things "used to be" like that — to dismiss the legitimacy of your past experiences and your memory. I think it is more wise to, instead, hone in on what it is you specifically miss about that time, reflect on how growing up may have changed your circumstances, and how you can bring what you miss back to your day-to-day.
There are, of course, the obvious points. When you're a child and are just discovering video games, they are sparkly and new, so they obviously feel special. Children are also less cynical and less hard to please, while being more playful and having a better ability to find new angles to enjoy a game from. As you grow up, you become more stressed out and have less free time. Mental illness often presents itself with age (I know for me, depression set in around age 13-14), making it harder to enjoy the things you used to.
But I also think there are some other, less obvious contributing factors, too, specific to this time in history. Like, can we talk about the geopolitical and economic state of the world right now?? As a child, your parents were usually the ones buying you games, often for holidays. You had to make do with what video games you had until the next holiday rolled around, so you played and played, milking the absolute most out of them that you could! And, if push came to shove and you simply had to buy a new game, you could save up the money yourself (via allowance, doing extra chores, whatever) and buy a copy. I can't speak for everyone, but for me, though it felt like a ton of money as a child, I understand now that new games were able to be bought if I just did a handful of chores at a daily pace. Especially if it's a used copy.
As an adult, living in the modern era, the expense of having video games as a hobby has skyrocketed. I remember new copies of DS games going for around $30 at my local GameStop, but now, the average Switch game costs double that. Though I do not own a Switch 2 (because, you guessed it: it's too expensive), the games on that go for $80!! And, given the job market crash and economic recession we are living in, those prices feel out of reach now more than ever. All of this now that we're adults who have to pay for our own games. And that isn't even getting into the current state of DLC that cost half the price of the original game, loot boxes/gacha/gambling, the consumerist culture dominating online spaces, and so on.
Even still, through the power of cheaper online retailers (and a certain sea-sailing method), most adult video game hobbyists will also be familiar with the concept of a "backlog" (otherwise known as a "pile of shame"): a collection of games that somebody has access to, but has not yet had the time to play and/or complete. While video games used to be something to be thoroughly enjoyed, played in many different ways, and explored, there is now too much choice. Similar to how you can be bored when you have the option of thousands of TV shows at your fingertips with streaming, we get overwhelmed, and don't take the time to appreciate the artistry of what we're participating in before moving onto the next thing.
So, what can be done? How do I bring back the feeling of wonder from when I set the seven seas in Windwaker, or when I first discovered the Ilex Shrine in HeartGold? While I don't think there's a way to get that exact feeling back, I have been experimenting with ways to make playing video games more fun! I want to share the things that have worked in helping me play games like a kid again.
#1: It really is that damn phone
You've heard it a thousand times before: phones are distracting. The expectation that you will be constantly available is distracting. The notifications are distracting. Of course you're not going to be able to be fully immersed in and enjoy your games — if you have a phone nearby, you're basically multitasking!
Put your phone away. Preferably in another room entirely, but in the room yet out of your line of sight is also good. Put it on silent. Find a way to communicate to anybody who might try to reach out, "Hey, I'm busy right now!" I mostly use Discord to talk to people, so I like to set a status that says that I'm busy, and change my online status to Do Not Disturb.
I will relent on using my phone for precisely two things: quickly looking up an answer for a query I have on the game (no checking notifs, no opening any app other than the browser, text answers only, no video), or setting an alarm for when I need to stop (ADHD time blindness demands this).
Of course, common sense says to not do all this if you're expecting an important call or email. But completely eliminating the distraction machine that is your smartphone does a lot to increase your immersion.
#2: Make a space for gaming
You have my permission to make your internal "gamer chair" or "gamer in the basement" joke here. … Got it out? Okay!
Having a space that I go to when I'm planning to play a game is a huge help in being able to enjoy it. If you work or do something else stressful, it's best to not play games in the same area you work, since it is associated with negative emotions, and may trick your brain into thinking that gaming is 'work'. It is also best to be in a place where housemates (if any) cannot disturb you, and a place where you can feel comfortable. You can even decorate it with things that make you happy and calm!
Since my mini-office is located in my bedroom, that is ruled out. But my house does actually have a dedicated "gaming room" right outside my bedroom, mostly used by my brother. I've tried using that room for gaming, as opposed to my bedroom, and it's been very nice! It's not ideal, since the room is directly connected to a hallway and the stairs, but it's quite good for my limited options, and is a dedicated space away from where most people are that I can feel comfortable in.
I don't recommend trying to imitate your childhood gaming habits in this way, unless you did something that you can easily and comfortably replicate, and which still works for you as an adult. I mostly played video games in my bed as a kid, but we've gone over why I don't want to play games in my bedroom. The rest of the time, it was on my living room floor with shrimp posture, since that was the only place where there was an outlet to charge my handhelds. I tried to sit on the floor while gaming briefly, but, even with better posture, it really sucked for my back. It's important to not bring the bad parts of your childhood (such as the aforementioned shrimp posture) back along with the childhood joy.
#3: Achievement-hunting
If you play a lot of Steam, Xbox, and PlayStation games, you'll be familiar with achievement systems! Little rewards that you get by doing certain tasks in-game. Attempting to get all these achievements for the games that I play has made me play them for a lot longer, and more thoroughly enjoy everything the developers put into them, since the developers are often the ones who make the achievements. There is a certain satisfaction in 100%ing a game, and completing a particularly difficult achievement can be incredibly rewarding!
For games without built-in achievement systems, you can try checking RetroAchievements, which provides an emulator that retroactively adds achievements to older games. Though it does not exclusively do this for Nintendo systems by any means, it is great news for a Nintendo-focused gamer like myself, since Nintendo, to this day, has never provided an achievements system. RetroAchievements just rolled out Wii achievements recently, and, while it doesn't have 3DS achievements yet, they are planned to be added around 2027.
Achievement-hunting definitely isn't for everyone, and, even if you are the type of person to enjoy it, your mileage still may vary depending on the specific game. But I recommend at least trying it out! It'll have you exploring video games from top-to-bottom, and doing new forms of play you might never have tried otherwise, which closely mimics how I played games as a child.
#4: Limit your backlog
If you have at least one video game in your backlog that you haven't played yet, don't buy any new games. And play one game at a time. Yes, I'm serious.
Limitation breeds creativity, as the old saying goes, and there are some serious benefits to imitating how limited your game selection was as a child. It eliminates the issue of the dreaded backlog; if you don't add to your queue of games, you will eventually catch up to it. That's math, babes. Then, once you have caught up with your backlog, any game that you buy will feel similar to getting a new game as a kid. This encourages a feeling of excitement at a new gaming experience, severely limits the overconsumption encouraged in hobby spaces these days, and, as a bonus, saves money, too! The other games you want to buy will still be there after you play your current ones. (Saying this just as much for myself as I am for you. This is probably the thing I struggle with implementing the most.)
Of course, you should apply this idea flexibly to suit your own needs. I currently play one game at a time on my own, but I let myself play different games with friends at the same time, too. I consider a game "completed" once I have 100%ed it (or have reached the ending if it has no achievements, or the achievements are not fun), and I can then move on to the next. I do not buy new games unless they are long-anticipated sequels/series entries (over five years). Limiting myself like this makes the gaming experience a lot less stressful, both on the mind and on the wallet.
#5: Educate yourself on dark patterns in gaming
I can't speak to everyone's childhoods here (I know a lot of kids are growing up on Fortnite now, and Roblox is getting worse and worse in this regard), but me, personally? When I was growing up, I did not see as many DLC loot box brainrot-fraught games as I do today. Partially because they were generally less prevalent than they are today, and partially due to the fact I had no interest in the types of games that these things were originally popularized in. If your childhood is different, that's alright! But this is more about trying to find joy in gaming again, rather than bringing back your childhood exactly, right? So it's good to educate ourselves on how to stay healthy in our gaming habits!
As defined (and coined, to my knowledge) by the mind(s) behind DarkPattern.games, a gaming "dark pattern" is "something that is deliberately added to a game to cause an unwanted negative experience for the player with a positive outcome for the game developer". This often takes the form of a psychological trick aiming to make you addicted to playing, but not always. On the website aforementioned, these are sorted into temporal dark patterns (a trick designed to get you to spend more time playing than you would have otherwise, such as daily rewards), monetary dark patterns (a trick designed to make you spend more money, such as premium currency), social dark patterns (using your relationships with friends and family to benefit the game, such as social obligations/guilds), and psychological dark patterns (a psychological trick that is used to get you to make bad decisions, such as variable rewards). These most often appear in mobile games (and, indeed, the website is dedicated to mobile games), but they can appear in other kinds of games, too.
I recommend reading through the website provided, and learning how to recognize these patterns. Do you have a game you like that uses these? I know I enjoy Cookie Run: Kingdom for certain characters, but the game uses quite a lot of dark patterns, as it is a gacha game. I also used to frequent Pokemon Masters. If you find that this is you, as well, I recommend doing what I do with Cookie Run: Kingdom, which is watch the new story updates online when they come out. You can enjoy the game just as much without ever opening it again!
#6: Involve your friends
As a kid, gaming was the main thing that my friend group had in common, along with watching anime. We would talk to each other about the newest games we wanted to play but that our stupid parents wouldn't buy, or one of us would let the others watch us play a game that nobody else had.
Now that I'm an adult, my friend group is mostly online, although we all still have being a gamer in common. There are lots of ways to get your game-enjoying friends more directly involved with your hobby, even across nothing but an internet connection!
Tell your friends what game you're playing right now. If another friend has it in their backlog, ask if you can co-play! Not in the typical co-op multiplayer way, but the way people co-read: playing the same game simultaneously, and telling each other your thoughts on the game as you play. Like a casual gaming book club.
You can also play a game with your friends on call, watching you play. I really, really enjoy playing games with my friends with lots of written dialogue, so that we can all read the dialogue out loud to each other in distinct voices! It's something I've done with my friends since I was a kid, and it gives me a childlike sense of joy, as if we're all playing pretend together.
Get in the habit of lending your games out to your friends! Maybe trade a copy out for a game that you want to play, too. If your friends live far away, you can mail each other physical games, and authorize Library Sharing on Steam for digital games! I find that lending your games to others to enjoy really builds trust and a sense of community, and it's a great way to have others give your favorite games a try. And it's a great way for you to try lots of different games, too!
And, of course, you have the classic multiplayer option. Competitive and collaborative co-op can both be extremely fun, and there are lots of mods available that add multiplayer to games that did not originally have it.
As I said before, I don't think that you'll be able to perfectly replicate your childhood, and that shouldn't be anybody's goal. Instead, you ought to consider your childhood and what circumstances made you so enthralled about certain things, to try and bring that excitement and joy back into your life as an adult. I think we should all nurture a little sparkle of childlike wonder in our lives.