Everytime you leave you leave forever
And when you come back it’s ephemeral
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posted 11 months ago, edited 11 months ago
From August 2024
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Blue Note / Solace LetterTo Neveah Sweetheart “I haven’t seen the sun in over two decades— Has it been twenty years, or has it been longer? Or shorter? For me, time is nothing anymore. Every second, every minute, every hour— they all blend in. One second I could find myself staring at the blood stain i’ve created by banging my head against the wall, and the very next second I would be curled up in the corner trying to recollect my memories before all of this happened. Before being forgotten in the highest floor in this purgatory, before being left to starve, before being beaten, chained, and thrown into this fucking cell— I could’ve changed the world with my inventions. Children around the world would’ve grown up to be exactly like me and change the lives of the newer generations for the better. What I did was for the greater good, someone was bound to do it eventually! I was bringing magic into people’s lives, even if we had to sacrifice just a few… Hundred… Liv— A few hundred thousand lives. But I stand by what I did, the overpopulation problem was ALREADY getting worse! I was simply leading humanity into a better future, shaping it into my personal perfect view of world peace. It would’ve been better that way, wouldn’t it? I thought everyone would love my ideas, I thought that nothing would get in my way, but you had to ruin my chances at fixing this miserable world. How do you feel, Neveah? Do you feel proud for locking me up? Do you feel proud for outright starving me almost to the point of DEATH?? Do you still think that you’re in the right here?? Let me tell you something. You can’t just keep someone locked up for dozens of years and not expect them to lose their mind, ESPECIALLY when the reason why you locked them up in the first place WAS because they were ‘insane.’ Do you know what that does to a person, Neveah? It distorts their mind. It makes them even crueler than they were before, being locked away for this long without anyone to talk to doesn’t magically make someone more sympathetic than when they first got in, oh, no no no. It turns them into a ruthless fucking murderer, that’s what. You think after being locked away for soo loonggg a person can maintain their dignity? Their empathy? The only thing that’ll grow is their thirst for revenge, once they get out of their cell they’re going right for your neck. That’s why you never let anyone out, isn’t it? Everyone here would’ve been better off if they were never sent here in the first place, but once they’re in that wretched straitjacket, it’s game over. Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep thousands of people locked away from everyone they loved or cared about? Nobody here’s going to magically get better.. You know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing over, and over, and over again and expecting something to change! It’s ironic, isn’t it? That’s the same thing you’re doing to the people you consider insane. You keep locking more people up and you just expect at least one of us to walk out of here a better person. That’s not how it works, Neveah. We deserve to live freely with nobody else in control of our own rights, especially you.” -Axel SolaceCoal Hearted: Chapter 1Drystan O’Connell couldn’t believe his eyes. Once a young lad from Kilkenny, Ireland, he stood on the deck of a steamship, leaning over the railing to watch as the city of London grew larger as they approached. The continuous whirring of the wheels on the ship's sides made him feel at ease, helping him forget about the sea sickness. The cold metal frame of the ship felt as comfortable as any bed, though he would still like to be on dry land.He leaned back up, taking in a deep breath. His nostrils flared and burned. He recoiled, covering his face with his hand. The intense smog of London’s industry could be felt even this far out. Despite the reaction, Drystan was still excited, jumping slightly in place as they got closer. He checked beside his feet to see if his suitcase was still there. He breathed a sigh of relief, even if he didn't have much anyway to steal. He patted his coat pocket, feeling his mother’s crucifix still there too. The ship finally enters the Thames River, though it is difficult to see the water under the heavy traffic of ships and tugboats, hauling their cargo out to the merchant ships or bringing in the goods of their overseas colonies. A passenger ship like his stood out, even if it was a smaller makeshift boat so they could traverse the river. The noises of industry made the other passengers feel queasy, but to Drystan, it was music, like a calming rhythm to ease him into his new home. Finally, the ship arrives at one of the dockyards, where Drystan can see all the busy workers moving cargo around. He excitedly picked up his luggage and made his way to some sailors dropping the gangplank, which fell with a heavy thud, kicking up some dust. This is somehow dirtier than the woods back home, Drystan thought to himself. Taking a deep breath, attempting to calm himself, but instead causing him to cough, He starts walking down the gangplank, his ears taking in all the sounds of the city, the first city he’s ever been in. He was amazed by all the large buildings, the sun struggling to peek through the clouds and smoke, and the number of people around him. Yet everything seemed to blur as one particular dock worker caught his eye. The man stood tall and proud, with curly hair, which had a mix of white and brown moving in swirls, poofed out on top and grew to just above his shoulders in the back. He was helping move some of the cargo around, wiping the sweat off his head. His skin was tan, yet when he turned, Drystan noted that half his face seemed to be of a whiter pigmentation, with circular shapes dotting it. Drystan could see his eyes, gold like the sun, and it caused his cheeks to get warmer than the steam from the ship brushing against his face. His heart thumped like the engines, beating faster and faster the more he stared. He didn't understand why this man captivated him, and soon he found himself quickly meeting the ground. He had misstepped and started rolling down the gangplank. He didn't stop until he hit one of the crates, with him on his back and legs leaning against the side of it, staring up at the blanket sky. His warm and reddish face was replaced with fear and embarrassment, almost hiding the freckles and large scar across his nose. He rolls to the side, pulling himself up and looking around, seeing some stare and others continue working. He brushed off his clothes, which were already being held together with patches in some areas of his pants, and picked up his luggage. He pulled down his flat cap to cover his face and started quickly pacing towards the street.He suddenly felt the back of his collar being yanked, the front of his neck feeling sudden pressure as he stumbled backward, only for a large hand to stop him. A few choice curses were hurled from the passing passenger carriage that had rushed past where he was about to step. As he gasps for air, a large police officer in his dark blue uniform, bushy mustache, and breath smelling of gin walks around to meet Drystans eyes. “Hey! Watch where you stepping lad, you almost copped more than a mouse!” He barked, followed by a loud guffaw. “O-Oh, S-sorry off-officer!” Drystan stuttered, trying to make himself look smaller.The copper gives him a stare. “Ah, a paddy eh? Used to just waltzing like the biggest bricky in Dublin no doubt.” “Actually, I’m from-” “I dinnae asked. Just watch your step when crossing London streets.” with a hard pat on the back, he sends Drystan on his way. However, before continuing on, he asks the policeman for directions.. He pulled out the leaflet from his pocket, uncrumpling it and pointed to it. The copper steadied his eyes to read: “WANTED: Eager assistant for Robotics Repair and Engineering, please inquire at-”He started guffawing, unable to control himself for almost a full minute before finally calming himself, holding his stomach and wiping his eyes. The joke seemed to escape Drystan before the officer continued; “Ah yes, I know this area well. I make frequent trips in the area. It’s just south of the Thames in Lambeth. Nothing but trouble there, so you’ll fit right in, aye paddy?” he elbows Drystan’s arm, with only a nervous chuckle being returned. He thanks him for the assistance, and continues walking, feeling the officer's gaze still envelop him. He looked at the pamphlet again, with a frequent gaze ahead of him. A bit of ease returned to him after rereading it. The opportunity to work on the new automatons was a dream ever since they crossed the channel from Europe, though he had seen that only in England was their use common. He pocketed the leaflet away, now focused on avoiding any more collisions in the packed London streets. As he had no money, or at least enough for travel and food, he ended up walking almost the entire city, crossing over the river he had just traveled. The hustle of the streets had quieted down, with modern buildings being replaced with an older neighborhood, some with almost medieval-looking architecture. The neighborhoods were small, the air cleaner, and the streets smaller. In London proper, he had seen automatons around every street corner, assisting the more well-off folks in carrying their shopping bags, tending to children, or working manual labor and construction. Trams buzzed by on the streets carrying large groups of people. Here, The people relied on carriages still, even though those were few and far between. The mechanical industry of the city was rare here, almost reminding him of home.Finally rounding a corner, he spotted the street of apartments, their brick and painted wooden frames standing out from the more traditionally built houses he had passed. There was a nearby railway that was built over the houses and streets, the chugging of a passing train shaking the houses and area around him, yet seemingly filled Drystan only with joy. To live by such machinery this far from the city was a welcome sight. And in a smaller neighborhood, he wouldn't have to interact with too many people either. Mounting up his courage, he took a deep breath and walked up to the apartment in the ad. It didn’t look like much, a thin-looking brick house, about three stories high. The front door had two white columns in front with an arch over it, with a bay window beside it, and another on top of that, with a normal window for the top floor. A small white fence and gate blocked off the path leading up to it. Walking up the steps, he was about to knock on the door when once again his face was met with only pain. The door had swung open suddenly, smacking Drystan square in the face, causing him to stumble sideways from the door as an angry, short man marched out, placing a bowler hat on his balding head and dragging a suitcase. He was mumbling to himself something to the effect of; “No good, lousy, insane maniac! Last time I work for Germans!” Drystan tries to regain his balance, watching the man kick open the front fence door and march down the street. Wonder what that was all about, he wondered. As he reached for his dropped luggage, a large CLANG spooked him off from his position, followed by more sounds. Mechanical parts were falling beside him, and he glared up to see a man holding a box out his window. He had combed-back brown hair and striking purple eyes. An angry snarl painted his face as he started screaming after the man. “ICH WOLLTE EH NICHT MIT SO EINER ARSCHGEIGE ZUSAMMENARBEITEN, NIMM DEINE SCHEISSARBEIT UND HAU AB!!” He yelled, in a language Drystan couldn’t understand, except that it was clearly unhappy. Suddenly the man snapped his attention to Drystan, who was trying to hide behind one of the columns in front of the door. He felt a cold shiver down his spine before his fear was replaced with curiosity as the man suddenly fixed his stature from the window and smiled as if he were apologetic for the mess. “Oh, sorry, my now former associate and I have decided to part ways and you have found me at a bad time!” he explained, chuckling at the situation. His smile felt reassuring to Drystan, but off somehow. He leaned onto his crossed arms on the window sill and poked his head out to get a better look at Drystan. He looked at the broken pieces of what turned out to be an automaton, which captured Drystan’s interest more than the man's. Drystan smiled, looking back up.“Y-you’re that Roboticist in the p-p-pamphlet?” He smiles back “Why yes! Ah, apologies, I haven't introduced myself!” He ran back inside, followed by a cascade of sounds falling over the apartment before the door swung open again, with Drystan stepping back beforehand this time. He sees the tired man, still wearing his engineer’s apron covered in soot and tools around his waist. He holds out his gloved hand.“Brandt Köhler, a pleasure to meet you!” Drystan Grips his hand, not minding all the grime getting on his. “Drystan O’Connell, I’m here about the job?”The Candle BoyDespair and darkness, hand in hand, together they ruled the town with an iron fist. They had banished the sun, making the sky turn black. And because even the sun couldn't do it, there was no way that the moon could penetrate its way through the dark clouds. The air felt heavy and it was hard to breathe. It was like the sky itself was suffering. But it was not only the sky. Water had turned somewhat contaminated, making it taste pretty rusty. The town was also experiencing a famine, since the crops wouldn't grow without the sun. This also meant that there was not enough food for the animals and their numbers were getting low day by day. These events were giving plenty of anguish for the townsfolk, but there was also something else that was making their lives a living hell. They were sick. Tons of blisters would appear on their skin and they were painful. Some who hadn't yet become ill were living in fear and wouldn't come out of their houses. Those who were infected hoped that death would come soon and put an end to their suffering… but in vain. It seemed like that even death itself was avoiding that town. These poor people were living in a nightmare. Had they offended the gods since they were being punished like this? Or had this realm always been protected by these deities, but for some reason they had abandoned this town and so it had turned into this nest of darkness and despair? No one knew the answer. There was only fear – fear that this place had become a land of agony, permanently. And there was no way out of there, since there was nothing beyond the borders of the town. However… There was a tiny spark of hope in darkness. Some people had seen a little boy wandering around the town. He seemed pretty normal, and yet at the same time, not quite. He was pale and had dark hair and wore a weary expression on his face. In his hand he carried a candle – its flame was small and weak and by the look of its flickering, it seemed like the darkness would crush its life at any time, extinguishing it. But even though his essence seemed rather feeble, he also appeared as the most powerful being in the town. No one had any idea where this mysterious boy had come from or who he really was, but that didn't really matter. The most important thing was that he brought hope into the misery ridden hearts. Who knows, maybe he was an answer for the prayers. Some had seen it happen: the miraculous power of this boy. He would approach someone with that horrible sickness and just by touching them, he could give them their strength back. He hadn't cured the disease, but he had given them power to follow him. Because that's what he was doing. Everyone who he had gifted with strength would come along with him. Then he would lead the way out of that death trap. Those who had been seen walking with that boy at that point were never seen again. That wasn't considered as a bad thing, though. At least they could escape from this pit of hell. Of course, there were also those people who wanted to benefit from this boy, since they wanted so desperately to get out of town. But could you really blame them? It didn't matter, though. No matter how hard they tried to chase the boy, they would eventually lose a track of him – the darkness would ensure that. It could be said that if he doesn't invite you to be his company, you should save your time and leave him alone or else you will be lost in shadows. Those who are wise will wait for their turn. Because now that people have something to believe in, now that they have figured out that there is a method to escape, the everyday pain feels a little bit more tolerable. There shines a light of hope in the darkness. You just have to wait that it will come to you and then it may help you get free from the torment.