there's times where i'm working on an art piece, and i'm so painfully aware of my own limitations. whether they be material (what supplies i have) or experience (how many hours i've spent honing in on something), but the bottom line is that sometimes i just become so aware that i don't know what i'm doing as adequately as i'd like to.
the knee jerk insecurity is that in a few years from now, i'll look down my nose at the piece with disdain. but truthfully, i tend to be kinder to my past self now than i was when i was younger since i realize the harm it can do. nevertheless, the insecurity remains.
to grow and learn is to brush against your own limitations. part of that is grieving not already being done growing and learning. it's rough!
it's tempting then to just not work on the piece/project, but obviously that means less introspection and improvement. it's just avoidance.
it's really walking a fine line? if you have too much ego, then you won't try challenging things so the illusion that there's nothing more for you to learn won't be broken.
meanwhile if you have too little ego, you'll lose the drive to take on challenging projects because you'll have such little faith in your discretion.
I watched all Sailor Moon (as in: the 200 episodes of the 90s anime, Crystal didn't exist yet) when I was 15.
I liked the series a ton, yet in the coming years; I didn't like when someone would categorize me as being like a ""Sailor Moon girlie"". Which I should say by the way: it was (unfortunately) a really common way my peers wanted to categorize me for whatever reason. The idea it was a core trait of me as a person, as though next to base traits like "has brown hair" or "is an artist" there's something that says "is a fan of Sailor Moon" REALLY bugged me. It was so hard to describe though, because ultimately I DO like Sailor Moon, I AM a fan, and even further I DO identify as being a fan of the magical girl genre on the whole... so what gives? Why didn't I identify with it?
I just finished rewatching the first 3 seasons (sorry SuperS and Sailor Stars, I'm not rewatching you this time), so it's been on my mind a lot.
The biggest conclusion is just that bluntly... yes I like Sailor Moon a whole lot! I LOVE S (season 3) especially (the outer senshi add so much). BUT... it's not a top 10 favorite for me. It's one of those cases where I watch it, and enjoy it, and I can see why it's some peoples favorite of favorites, it's just somehow not mine. I could put more words to why it's that way all day, but that's the bottom line.
And that feels so anticlimactic, doesn't it? At first I was thinking of all these grand things like maybe I watched it at the wrong age, maybe I connected with the series itself but not the way it's marketed these days. But no, it's way simpler.
There's something to be said of how because Sailor Moon is a quite popular work, it makes sense my peers would see my "favorite color is pink" "magical girl genre loving" ass who factually HAD watched and enjoyed Sailor Moon - and perhaps didn't know works beyond that - would flatten me into being fan club member #1. I don't blame any of them, or harbor ill will, it was well intentioned! It unfortunately did make me feel misunderstood though, as melodramatic as that sounds. It felt like they weren't seeing me as I am.
Anyways. I like making these things into questions, so what fiction (genre or individual work) do you identify with being a fan of? Do you have any fiction that you like a lot, but don't want to be characterized as a fan in this sort of way? I'm curious if it's just me!