i want to clean my room so badly. i dont know how it happens every single time, but it always gets messy despite my self promising that i'll keep it clean this time. i'd convince myself that its because i spend my whole time in it, and that i have my pets in here so it gets messy, but it shouldn't really be this hard to maintain.

is executive dysfunction a real thing or am i insane with laziness. depression is bad enough already, and the constant doubt that im just looking for an easy way out is already distracting. this isnt needed.

i want to clean my room so i can draw, paint and, not sure, maybe not feel like being surrounded by filth. its so exhausting, why is it so hard. i just want to be clean and organized.