- They/Them
- It/Its
nonbinary - full time creature - artist and amateur writer
Been a while since I wrote a real journal. It is really crazy how time flies, and I never thought the end of the year could come so fast.
I told myself I was gonna go on an art hiatus in the last journal - that was too heavy of a word (and Zero, who commented on that was right.) Clearly, I'm a liar because I'm still doing art, and I have the drive to make lots of pieces. But I'm stuck in backgrounds mode for now.
I decided to not open the commissions page yet, still. I'm not at a state where I have enough good examples of the types of work I wanna have people commission me for (icons, stickers, emotes, halfbody drawings, full pieces that actually look good, reference sheets, et cetera.)
Also, I got into a chemistry class for the next few months. It's the last thing I have to finish off before I can (hopefully) go to college and then I'll be in school again to get a decent full time job that should hopefully help me just exist for the rest of my life (yay!)
And finally, I opened a Newgrounds, and I haven't even announced that on Bluesky (looking for a good time to,) and posted a good amount of my art over there, so there you go.
Being stuck in backgrounds mode is SO FRUSTRATING!! It was like this months ago, and it just hurts my head each time. I just. I draw a place, and there's nothing I know to put in it. It's all areas, liminal spaces, nothing in the picture. A friend of mine told me "this is good anyways, at least you're drawing something," but it's kinda been getting to me because I want to draw my characters in situations and I somehow fail to. The inspiration will come eventually. I just have to be patient.
On the bright side, I've been discussing making a persona in collaboration with my partner that does not use social media. I'll make an announcement when that's finished up (hopefully this month / next month?) I hope eventually we can get a collection of aliases going.
Thank you all for putting up with me. More stuff coming soon, I swear. Until then!
Good luck.
Have fun.
And, most importantly of all, do not die.
A smaller journal this time!
I've finally caught up to my art posted on Bluesky, so that feels great because now when you see things, it's brand new. So that feels satisfying that now both things I use are up to speed.
Given the entire art block stuff, and the fact that I've been struggling with something IRL, I'm going to probably be on hiatus for a little bit until I set up my commissions page properly. Hope y'all understand.
I think I have a little bit of art block. For some reason, it feels like the well of creativity is dry - or maybe it's not that at all! Because I do have plenty of ideas, but I'm struggling with the act of bringing pen to paper, or pen to tablet. Something about it all has become unexpectedly daunting for some reason.
I recall sometimes getting scared of my creativity. I'd write something and then it'd turn into sludge in some way - like none of the words would make sense and there would be no structure. What was in my mind would not translate to paper properly and it would leave me with dissatisfaction. It's very difficult to write things other than poetry for this reason for me.
Other times when it comes to drawing, sometimes it'll be as easy as I'll make a line or a circle, and then something in my brain will whisper to me and I'll throw away the draft. It takes persistence to actually get a drawing out.
I hope this will pass quickly, but it does kinda suck being in the throes of it again. Sigh. Hell world.
If anyone else knows how to get through this, or has suffered similar experiences of this sort of art block, please do share how you got out of it, or your experiences! I'd like to know.
After a week of settling into this place I'm feeling rather good about this, given it's more chill than most places. I might have been apprehensive at first due to a variety of reasons, but it's kinda calmed down by now. I feel like you can sit here and appreciate things a lot more, just stop and smell the roses. Keep it chill, and that's something a lot of sites don't have because there's the never ending feeling that you need to produce something.
I don't feel as much pressure as I do when I look at my own profile on Bluesky and realize "oh, shit, I haven't made art in a week, gotta produce SOMETHING!!" and that feels very, very liberating to know because it means I can go at my own pace, and I don't have to feel as dissatisfied with me turning out art, you know? It's just freeing and gives some of my ideas for drawings a longer time to cook. I feel like this is truly a baller site where I can express myself now that I've given it a week.
Other than figuring out what I'm doing with Sheezy, this week was kinda tumultuous personally with me feeling weird about making a project with some friends and having to step back from it a bit. That, and processing the anxieties about this place with my partner was kind of also a deal that gave me a headache for most of the week, honestly.
And I've been trying to set up commissions soon (so I can at least get a source of income from doing silly art) and already got one privately from a friend, so that felt great. I'm ballin', I think, everything kinda turned around suddenly which is really great.
Also, I opened this to just check the timer of when I can upload more of my art so I can get up to speed with my more recent pieces, and... my art is in the CORNER?! I got SPOTLIGHT?? That's absolutely insane to me that I just got here and suddenly, the first piece of art I did to get back in the swing of doing art after a long, long period of burnout is on the top of the page. Kinda tearing up about that. Thank you guys. 🥹
What's up?
My name's Mono. As of this journal, I've decided this journal is generally going to be a home for more of my longer posts (I have Bluesky, and that is kind of limiting for things like just yapping about whatever.)
Most of the art posted here is going to be posted whenever I remember to bring it to here. I'm fond of the idea of using this more as a gallery for my stuff and expressing myself a little more. I'm still kinda getting my bearings here, and I'm a bit tired of how social media like Bluesky works (I've tried many other like it, I hate my art having an expiry date and other stuff like that, it's just all inherently very limiting and caters to like. Very specific things.)
And so thus begins the long process of reuploading my art here.
I like how much this site caters to customization, also. Feels like you don't get a lot of that these days, and I miss when I used to run a neocities and use other sites that had so much flexible customization and gave you actual control of your space.
Anyways, I'm happy to join this community, and I hope I have fun here!