- He/Him
31 January 1987 | SciFi/Action Writer | INTJ/INTP-A | ⊘ RP | PG-13 | ♂ (Married +1 Kid)
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Once upon a time, a brilliant man came up with an equation that changed everything. You know the simplified version, E=MC2, I'm sure. What did it do? It ushered in the Nuclear Age, bringing with it a promise of near-infinite power. Sure, there were risks, but ultimately, if respected and improved upon, it promised to be far better than alternatives (e.g., continuing to burn fossil fuels, for one). However, it could also be used to build a horrifying new kind of bomb. And thus, the man who discovered this potential ran from his home country, who threatened to abuse his work for that end.
And then the place he ran to used it to make and deploy the Bomb anyway, thus forcing the world into an era of living under the specter of nuclear annihilation.
I use this example to describe AI often. While there's an element of comparing apples to oranges here, the general gist remains; we have something here that could be used to revolutionize the world for the better, but it's immediately being ushered toward abuse by just abut anyone who can do so. And this could get bad. REALLY bad.
To be clear--and I've said this before: I'm not against the idea of AI being used, within reason. I very much see potential in it when it comes to helping with tedious phases of doing my artwork like cleaning up lines (something I suspect powerful art programs already do without us really knowing) and helping generate components for backgrounds for my images (not the entire background or image). I admit I've toyed with these things and see some value as part of my workflow, but draw a line at making it my entire workflow. That being said, due to the consternation in the community about how others (like DeviantART) have abused AI, I've had to avoid using it even in that capacity for fear of being out of line with the well-intentioned rules against AI like we have here at Sheezy. I'll admit, this is kind of frustrating, but I get it... idiots ruined it for the rest of us. We live in a society, etc., etc. And to that extent, I am still very much against the use of AI for generating and flooding the market with AI slop, particularly for the purposes of buying and selling and inflating the market for those that actually put the real sweat and tears into their work (f*** you, DeviantART).
But folks, it's worse than that, I'm afraid.
Micron/Crucial, a company that makes a SUBSTANTIAL amount of our solid-state flash memory and computer RAM, just announced they are going to stop selling that stuff to end-user customers like you and I. Why, might you ask? Because they have deemed the massive corporate interests that are building AI datacenters everywhere as a more lucrative source of revenue. We're already seeing a shortage of these components for ordinary computers and devices that you and I use every day because AI bros are buying it all up... it's driving the prices for these things up to ludicrous levels over just the past few weeks. Now, the producer of about third of all of these components has decided to sell ONLY to them. Never mind our power and water bills going up because of these datacenters--they're making EVERYTHING cost more.
Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure what can be done. I'd love to see the AI bubble pop, but the AI gold rush morons have put everything on the line to shove AI down our throats, because if it does implode... whoo boy, there's going to be a LOT of very broke people. They're doing everything they can in desperation to keep it afloat, and we're starting to see the consequences of it in everyday life.
Incidentally, I wrote a short story about one of the possible outcomes of going all-in on AI two years ago that might be enough to scare you as it is. But even that didn't address this possibility. Sheesh....
--PRD/SentientAberration
I finally took a moment to clean up my personal website a bit and make it more concise and to the point, content-wise. I may be pretty good with HTML/CSS, but outside of my sysadmin duties, I've never really forayed into any sort of serious server-side scripting or functionality. But with the Internet sort of going to crap these days, I'm thinking more and more about adding the ability for folks to interact and leave messages to my site... but I have no idea where to even start.
I know there's a pretty healthy Neocities community here and that some of you put guestbooks on your page, which might be a sufficient starting point. Any decent recommendations from anyone there?
I'm still not sure if that's the route I'll take. I prefer to have as much of my stuff self-coded and maintained as possible, but with this being a side-project hobby sort of thing, it really doesn't sit high on my priority list... especially with a baby to take care of in the background :/ And I'm wary of opening myself up to security and bot/spamming vulnerabilities with the simple stuff, so ...IDK.
Anyways, if anyone has good recommendations they feel like sharing, drop them here. Otherwise, I might just need to school myself a bit and get back to this later.
--PRD/SentientAberration
Why am I writing this...? Well, if I had to state a Thesis up front, I guess it would be that we all really ought to loosen up a bit on the Internet. Let me explain...
My brain doesn't work quite like the majority of the population. It's thrown teachers, counselors, psychiatrists, my parents, and even my friends off my entire life. I know the cool thing to say anymore is "there's really no such thing as normal", and while that seems true and well-intentioned in a general sense, it... actually doesn't represent reality. It also doesn't make things better for those of us that have very much been part of the odd-one-out crowd their entire life. I mean, it does make a valid point -- that the notion of "normal" can lead to somewhat harmful exclusionary behaviors -- but it doesn't really change the fact that this isn't really a choice or moral decision some of us make. It can't be fixed by "normalizing abnormal" in society.
To further show what I mean, I'm going to quote a meme that was posted by an old High School friend of mine who has child diagnosed with Autism... and that knowing them personally, has mild symptoms, themselves:
Autistic me: "Oh, that reminds me of something similar that happened to me."
Hoping this leads to: A fun moment of connection over shared experiences.
What the other person hears/interprets: That I'm making it about me rather than listening to them.
*Sighs...* Yeah, that kind of hit the nail on the head. That's definitely a thing. And I hate it.
Look... I'm a very much well-meaning and generally helpful sort of person. Maybe to a fault, sometimes. What does this have to do with anything? Apply the above scenario to me when someone posts something about a difficulty in their life, or a frustration about something. I see these as opportunities to make a (hopefully) positive contribution to that person's day... in fact, it can be difficult for me to simply stand by and let it pass, particularly if I've had or overcome some sort of similar experience that could potentially help with seeing the bigger picture in a more helpful/positive way. So that second part effectively becomes: "A moment of empathetic connection over shared experiences"... and I'm usually trying to do this by way of two things -- trying to let you know you're not alone, and citing a time where perhaps I might have felt a similar way to let you know I'm not simply making some empty made-up statement of support (backing with evidence, let's say).
You see, here's the problem with that -- Some people just want to vent. They don't want someone else's empathy; they just want someone to listen. People like me? Yeah, we're listening... but we're awful at simply just doing that and nothing else. We see someone who could really use a hug, even if only figuratively speaking...
...and then it just comes off as a very robotic and awkward hug at best... or hijacking the conversation and making it about us at worst.
In reality, that could not be further from the truth. But... I know I've done this to people, and I'm sorry if it came off wrong or led to some form of unintentional distress. I cannot influence how anyone chooses to interpret my actions. But because they're... different, the probability that they're misinterpreted remains much higher than average.
I've lost friends, accidentally burned bridges, and pretty sure I even blew up my very first romantic relationship because of this exact sort of thing. My brain analyzes and wants to apply logic and effective, efficient solutions to everything -- including emotionally-laden things like empathy -- and it freakin' sucks! Sometimes, all I want to do is help someone feel a little better... and I somehow end up accidentally making it worse.
There are a LOT of people here who claim to be neurodivergent in some way or another... and I'm not going to cast any doubt on that; I may very well be preaching to the choir here. But... for that very reason, we may want to be a little more patient with each other, and when necessary, more blunt/blatant about our needs and intent.
On that note, my comment section remains open. Maybe a little vent-y, but by no means a hands-off discussion. Have you been on either side of this conundrum? Do you maybe have a different take on this? Rather than lament this phenomenon, I'd honestly rather we... *checks notes* have "A fun moment of connection over shared experiences" instead.
--PRD/SentientAberration
It's been a moment since I posted a proper thoughtful "Journal," so here one is. Might get a bit heavy, but it's still fine to leave your thoughts at the end if you want.
Time has not been nice to the things I grew up with. The places, people, and things I used to take for granted... that I knew each morning would still be there when I woke up, that--for good or for bad--defined my world for too long, they're largely gone now.
For years, I grew up in a house that, despite frankly being kind of a trash heap, was home and a place of comfort. That home was in a neighborhood with stores down the street that I was familiar with, parks that I played at, and relatives I looked forward to visiting during the holidays. You know, those things just sort of get taken for granted after awhile. But... it turns out, they don't last.
That old home of mine... I escaped it over a decade ago. The roof in my bedroom was caving in. The stairs to the basement had collapsed, and just about everything else had become filthy and falling apart. I had to spend a summer trying to rescue things from the place in 2018 before the Port Authority forced my parents to leave it. But... it didn't end there. The whole neighborhood, as if some apocalypse had occurred at some point, was no longer at all what it once was. Driveways were overgrown, trees had disappeared, things weren't maintained anymore. The trail in the woods I used to explore had somehow become dangerous and impassable. The nearby town fared no better... the places I once knew either moved out, closed, or simply fell apart. The relatives have either passed away or moved on, the schools and familiar landmarks have closed or been torn down. There are now drive-by shootings and crime all over the place there. At some point, the place that I once called home ceased to exist. Actually... no... it rotted away.
As a grown man, there are times when my mind returns to the golden era of these places... the familiar smells, sounds, and feelings still tease the very edge of the senses, briefly bringing me back and making me want to go back and visit, if only for a moment. And this is despite that old home of mine even being a truly horrible place to live at times in my life.
But I can't. It's gone. There is simply nothing to go back to anymore. And I'm going to be honest, it's a bit depressing.
I am truly on my own now. It's a truly humbling feeling.
Things aren't all bad, however. I refused to rot like my past. I've moved on. After much effort and struggle, I have a new family and a new home. Still, no matter what I do within my power to try to make it all feel at least a little like the days past, it remains fleeting at best. Not only has the world of my past faded... I've irreversibly changed, myself.
Having become a father for the first time this year, I realize that with my son, a whole new chance to experience these things has blossomed. Though I may not be able to feel those things myself anymore, my kids will have their own version of it. The comfort of home, the familiarity of friends and family, the sounds, smells, and overall aura of a place they intimately know. And God am I terrified of ruining that somehow. I absolutely MUST do my best to let him enjoy it while it lasts.
We all have to learn to let go and move on at some point. But... if I've learned anything as I've gotten older, things don't last forever. We too often think of the people we know this way, but the entire world you grew up in? Taking things for granted is a path to future sorrow, it seems. But can we really help it in the end?
.....
Anyway... just a musing I had tonight. I think looking at my old OG profile on DeviantART set this in motion. I miss what I had there back then. I absolutely despise what it's become. And though I see the potential to ultimately relive some of that here, so much around me is so irrevocably changed and alien despite this. Perhaps, like my past, I too am beginning to fade away as I grow older, despite my desire to resist it.
--PRD/SentientAberration
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--PRD/SentientAberration