Local chronically in bed goober looking for art focused spaces to belong in! :3
Page doll by the sweetest @MayhemMouse <3
On today's episode I yap about being in love.
The past few months have felt really big. In an overarching sense too, but also in a very personal sense.
I have been in a relationship with a very sweet man.
And he is fantastic!! In all sorts of ways. Most notably being the first person that genuinely seems happy to be with me.
Which really, is why I wasn't looking for him. Or for anyone, really, for years; Even when I didn't initiate a relationship, I had a long pattern of feeling like the only person trying to put work into it. Becomes draining after so many times, I must admit.
And as a result of it happening so repeatedly across different relationships, it still blows my mind that my current partner... Puts in the work. And does so consistently.
And well, it doesn't actually make the relationship easy. Or smooth. I could even argue things have never been this rocky. But things also have never been this healthy.
For better or worse, we are two different individuals, and things inevitably get tense from time to time. Especially because when they do.. We talk about it. And it sucks. It can be really painful and scary. But we talk about it. We figure out what wasn't working, and try to adjust, and to understand each other's side of the narrative... And so things get better, which is why we will inevitably get tense moments again. I guess it's what happens when you keep trying?
And I suppose my past self might see me say that and have a lot of doubt about this truly being healthy if we just "keep fighting over and over". And maybe someone reading this might as well. But no crisis is the same, and I know from what has now become a pattern that we are both going to try and improve at communicating and meeting each other's needs.
I find myself motivated to give him as much leeway as needed, because I know it's good for us both, just as I know he does that for me too.
So.. Yeah. We are a couple and we fight all the time. But we don't fight each other. We fight for each other.
And I'd say it makes a whole world of a difference when you learn to tell one thing from the other.
Been playing around with my profile again and I have finally figured out how people do those little fun boards with their favorite characters and such ;w;
I always wanted to try but I'm a bit slow with figuring things out orz
But well, I got there!
I sadly think I am too old to be a fan of anything anymore orz
Lies... Well, kinda. I really don't feel like a fan of things the way I used to be when I was a kid, especially not things like series, or movies, since I barely have the energy to keep up with or watch anything these days.
So a bunch of my own doodles it is I suppose!
My profile keeps feeling more and more like home and it feels really nice.
Now I need to figure out where everyone keeps getting their cool stamps ;w;
I still feel way out of the loop with customizing > ///// <
Hallo again ; w ; /
I've been gone for a little while but hopefully everyone's okay.
Recently I've been making lots of little doodles cause I'm being unable to really work on anything serious. Here's one, in fact!!
I have some actual posts to get to but it's been hard. Lots of awful things going on that are hard to look away from but ah... I'll keep it at that.
I wonder if I should write journals to talk about my characters... I haven't posted all that much art here yet but it might be another nice thing to focus on. I need to get myself used to writing things again X3
I wanted to make a longer entry but I seem to be struggling with that today and I'll try and not push myself, but I'll try and either make a characters journal entry or maybe share more of the doodles I made some time this week X3
And also hopefully actually post more art. There's a half of an art trade in particular that I've been taking way too long to share.... orz
I was kind of thinking it might be already, this has been a long month... ;;
I know not many people here know me but ah... Hope you're alright, if you're reading this!!
I'm writing cause I... Well, you see, I have been wanting to write more entries, but I never know what to say.
But lately I have been struggling to be online at all because the platform I used to be in most (Artfol) barely lets me in. App is crashing constantly and when I try the website it gives me a 404 error or... Things just don't work. ;;
I've been trying to be on Bluesky but I'm not entirely sure how to exist there, and I wanna try being here more too so I thought, why not write on my journal?
It's been an awfully long time since I had a blog!! Possibly over a decade!! Easily over a decade, really. I'm very old.
What do y'all folks do for socializing? I seem to not have gotten a good grasp on it yet. I can't remember what people wrote blogs for either... Hmmmmmmm
Well, since this is a journal. Let's see, how has this year been so far?
I'm gonna not talk about any of the big looming things probably bothering most humans on the planet, but those have definitely made things harder.
My social circle has had a major shift in the past few months leading to now and I think I'm still adjusting. My partner has been an enormous blessing, and I'm so grateful for him... We'll be four months old soon!! And I mean, four months, when compared to a lifetime, sounds pretty small... But we have both had a very chaotic last four months, and well... Year, I suppose. And the fact that we've been able to make things work through all that chaos is really heartwarming. I've also made new friends!! I have made really cool new friends! Artsy too!! One thing that had been bothering me somewhere last year or the year prior was how I seemed to simply not have a lot of artist friends. But now I do have some and life is better for that!! I feel like I am much better at socializing than even just two or three years ago too, even if, as I mentioned above, I still haven't quite gotten a hang of this socializing thing.
I've also been a lot more experimental with my art since making more artist friends, and have been learning a lot!! And I went back to... Well, having my own characters!! Which I had sort of pushed aside for years... Granted, I haven't been able to draw a lot of my childhood OCs for various reasons, but I have made new ones!! And I love them!! And I want more of them!!
So... Yeah. While the truth is, I have been quite exhausted and depressed from my social circle shifting and the things going on outside of my control... I think within my own circle of influence, within just my own life... There's good things to find.
I hope that's the same for you too, if you're still reading!! Which, if you are, thanks for the interest!!
I think taking the time to think about the new connections I made and the things I've learned and ways I've been inspired have made me feel a little better compared to when I started writing this entry. And I think that means the job is done, and the time was well spent.
I think I'll go and bake a sweet potato now!
Take care out there in the overworld! :3