I don't want to get spammy with the journals, but it feels nice to have an anonymous, yet public place to dump my thoughts that isn't social media. On here, it feels quite wonderful to be me, without any of the expected behaviors and trained roles I am expected to slide into given society's expectation of my gender. It's such a forced, harmful performance, and I feel like no one will love me if I act true to myself. It's not even doubt or insecurity, I know so based on how people react to the things I say, or do.

I feel like I am trapped in this shell, and it's pretty damaging to my mental health the more I think about it. I'm not queer or anything, but I would call myself non-gender conforming, and the idea of acting like myself in public or with groups of my fellow sex make me want to throw up. I weep for the people who share my same fate, and hope we can work towards living in more loving, accepting, and kind world. Know you have value regardless of what society thanks of you for betraying whatever performance they expect of you. <3

I am grateful to have this space, and hope we can continue to provide this welcoming, healing aura for all to come.