an insecti'd like to be an insectto just wake up one dayand see the vast, wide worldin a completely different way the parking lot pavementwould become a sea of grayi'd shelter under mushroomsas it starts to rain i'd scuttle high on branchesand burrow deep in earthi'd see colours unknownbut give people a wide berth the pebbles on the porchwould be like mountain peaksthe grass on the front lawnwould be like redwood trees i'd like to be an insectperhaps just for a dayi'd like to shed my worriesand put my thoughts awayvulnerabilityis it about taking this love,from my shaking hands?charging through the walls i’ve built,as a final, desperate stand? can I ever be close to you,without falling apart?will you teach me how,to show my frail heart? do you hear me now,my voice barely a murmur?i’m trying so very hard,to let you past my armour to put faith in and trust you,and take you at your wordplease don’t make me regret,laying down my swordcobaltyou say nothing ever shines as bright,like the light inside my eyeseven if the stars across the midnight sky,they finally burned blue you insist my eyes make oceans jealous,though i'm not sure that's the truth despite your claims of splendour,what would happen if you knew?my dearest love, i should say it so,they were always made for youfaithfulfor as rustedand as wornas i ami will foreverbe your swordstarsyou made tiny starsdance at the cornersof my darkened eyesand then i realisedi wanted those starsto grow ever brighterfighteryour way is not of painyour destiny not ordainedstand up, brave warriorbrush the dust from your shouldersand keep fightingpride monththe pharmacy down the streethas a sign on its sliding doorit says ‘everyone is welcome’though it wasn’t there before with playful, blocky textdecorated in progressive coloursit certainly does not feel this waythough, maybe it does to others? because he still walks to the countertugging, pulling at his baggy shirthe asks for the birth control quietlyafraid it might get him hurt it still says ‘feminine paper’in the aisle near the cashiernot period nor menstrualbecause god forbid the children hear all the congratulatory cards and baby clothesare pink for girls and blue for boysas if a child has the foresight, the freedomto question their parents’ choice the flags and celebratory hatsare covered in logos of sterilised whiteas companies attempt to ownthe struggle for our human rights on being trans, though i can’t speak to thati can certainly criticize, when a bar is set this lowwhen all he’s ever felt the need to saywas an apology for being so i do not know if i believe youdespite the sign on your front door… isn’t it just a performance for the customersso that they’ll give you more?privilege vs. allowanceit is such a kindnessto allow somebody to beexactly as they arei am so very sorrythat you were never handed it and thank youfor the allowanceof myselfi have neverhad the privilege beforerebellionevery time i smilelaugh, rejoice, singevery time i am given kindnessand every time i am smiled ati win, over and over and overfor there is no greater rebellionthan my existencehomefallen out of the midnight skya deep-end drop into starlit seascoming down to dusted earthin a tragic, yet brilliant blaze of glorypast millions of strings of lightyears of luminescence awayhe finds home