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for as rusted
and as worn
as i am
i will forever
be your sword

visibility30

faithful by attributionalternate_emailstygianoia

posted 4 weeks ago, edited 4 weeks ago

On belonging to somebody.

poem poetry writing

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starsyou made tiny starsdance at the cornersof my darkened eyesand then i realisedi wanted those starsto grow ever brighter

fighteryour way is not of painyour destiny not ordainedstand up, brave warriorbrush the dust from your shouldersand keep fighting

privilege vs. allowanceit is such a kindnessto allow somebody to beexactly as they arei am so very sorrythat you were never handed it and thank youfor the allowanceof myselfi have neverhad the privilege before

pride monththe pharmacy down the streethas a sign on its sliding doorit says ‘everyone is welcome’though it wasn’t there before with playful, blocky textdecorated in progressive coloursit certainly does not feel this waythough, maybe it does to others? because he still walks to the countertugging, pulling at his baggy shirthe asks for the birth control quietlyafraid it might get him hurt it still says ‘feminine paper’in the aisle near the cashiernot period nor menstrualbecause god forbid the children hear all the congratulatory cards and baby clothesare pink for girls and blue for boysas if a child has the foresight, the freedomto question their parents’ choice the flags and celebratory hatsare covered in logos of sterilised whiteas companies attempt to ownthe struggle for our human rights on being trans, though i can’t speak to thati can certainly criticize, when a bar is set this lowwhen all he’s ever felt the need to saywas an apology for being so i do not know if i believe youdespite the sign on your front door… isn’t it just a performance for the customersso that they’ll give you more?

rebellionevery time i smilelaugh, rejoice, singevery time i am given kindnessand every time i am smiled ati win, over and over and overfor there is no greater rebellionthan my existence

homefallen out of the midnight skya deep-end drop into starlit seascoming down to dusted earthin a tragic, yet brilliant blaze of glorypast millions of strings of lightyears of luminescence awayhe finds home

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I roved out in search of freedom

InspirationWhy do we write, scribbling ink onto paper?Why do we do it now instead of later?Why indeed do we do so many things in life,Instead of facing head on its many strifes? For some, these stanzas and rhymes help a bit.They make us think and let us control it.Illusions of stability made by turning thoughts into words,Otherwise, would any of us even be heard? Flowing,Freeform,Uniquelystructured, Or perhaps evenA short and simple haikuPacked with a large punch. So many different types await the creative mind.Some may choose to let them rhyme entwined,Or to let them fall flat without a twin. There is no wrong way to write,Nor is there a wrong reason,But to ignore it at all,Commits against yourself treason. Let the creative juices flow freely,Let them go how they might.However your poem turns out,Just make sureit feelsright. trophy

Move againAnd I swear I will stay,until your abdomen starts moving again.I miss when you did that.Muscles so tense and they were so alive.I don’t want you to die.A withered body;wobbly, immobile.Could your lungs move again?At least for one day.I’ll be the flesh to your bones,The diaphragm that moves.And the heart that still beats.For what used to be You.

Self-ExpressionI love to expressmyself In many different forms MusicallyArtisticallyPoetically All these are fununiqueexciting They make me feel freehappyin control When I see a blank canvasI see what could be thereits limitless potentialendless possibilities For me, creativity is an escapecalmingtherapeuticfreeingbeautiful By getting thoughts into wordsor ideas onto paperI can learn moreabout myself and my emotions.I can get a better handleon myself and hopefullygive myself some insighton the inner workings of my own mind. For me, self- expressionis also self-discovery. Who knows what I'll find tomorrow?

Kiss From A ButterflyHe couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. He didn't want it to end like this. His daughter, the only significant thing in his life, had lost the fight. She had fought against her sickness for so long and he, a poor man, was unable to do anything but to watch her suffer and pray that if there was some high divine power somewhere above, they would hear his plead. But they didn't – if there even was any deity listening, that is. He had tried to seek help from healers, but it was all in vain. They had ended up being all alone with their painful problem, dwelling in despair. And so, it happened on that one autumn morning that the little girl took her last breath. She had been young, way too young, and it was unfair that fate had stolen her life so soon. Her father had stayed up all night, grasping her fragile hand, begging for a miracle. It didn't happen. Her life slipped away trough his fingers. His daughter, his most precious treasure, was gone. The inevitable had ensued. Then came the tears. His vision got blurred and he couldn't help it. He wept and wept, but no matter how much he cried, the tears that dropped couldn't bring relief to his bottomless sorrow at all. Why did this have to happen? Who was responsible of the demise of such innocent child? Oh, he so wanted that somewhere out there would be a higher force so he could blame them for this tragedy. Deeply mourning, the father raised his beloved daughter and started to carry her tiny body. There was only one thing he could do. If the stories that were told around his home village were true. Perhaps he still had a chance to see his little girl. He simply loved her too much to let her go this easily. He just had to go to the hill of butterflies. The grieving father carried his child's dead body out of their warm home. The weather was a bit cold and the sky was clouded and dark like the man's mind. He began his travel to the hill that was good distance away from their village. Protecting the figure of the dearest person in his life as if she was still breathing, he journeyed to his destination. Even though the world seemed grim at that moment, the hill was beautiful. A lot of colorful flowers were blooming, and as the man reached the top of the place, then sat down with his daughter still in his arms, it appeared as if the gorgeous plants were guarding them. The man embraced her, petting her long, dark hair. Now he just had to wait. So he waited. Eventually the dawn turned to dusk. That whole time the man had squeezed his child's empty husk, mumbling to himself that everything was going to turn alright and that he loved her more than anything. He was so focused on the small body on his arms that he didn't realize that something miraculous started to happen around them. However, it didn't take long for him to snap out of his somber state of mind and become more aware of his surroundings. The magnificent flowers didn't get reduced to buds as the veil of darkness intertwined around the world. Instead, they started to glow with a radiant light in many different colors. The sight was breath-taking, but there was still more to come. Then they appeared; the butterflies. It was as if the flowers had summoned them. Those beautiful tiny beings just materialized out of nowhere, each one of them conquering a blossom for themselves. And then, in unison, they took off from their little plant platforms, rising higher and higher, and began to dance in the air. The sight was stunning. The man could just stare in awe as the butterflies fluttered around them. So it was true. The fable about night butterflies was valid. They could help him. Soon one of the colorful insects separated from the group of its sisters and brothers, descending to meet the man. It landed on his lips, and the man closed his eyes. For a moment the time felt like it had stopped. Only when the butterfly decided to leave the spot to ascend again did the man open up his eyes. “Daddy?” Greatly astonished, the father shifted his gaze at his precious little girl he was holding. She was staring at him with bright and joyful eyes. She was alive, she was alive! He closed his daughter in a tight hug, tears of happiness rolling down his face. His heart was beating wildly, bursting with love for his only important being in his life. Delight killed all the last remains of his previous sorrow that he had felt when he had arrived to the hills. It was like that misfortune never even happened. “Thank you… thank you!” father whispered and made known his gratefulness for the little insects. “What's wrong daddy? Why are you crying?” the little girl inquired. The man wiped away his tears before answering: “Everything is okay now. Nothing is wrong.” Then he kissed his daughter's forehead. She let out a small giggly noise, which made the father's heart melt. After that, they both stood up, hand in hand and looked together at the dance of butterflies. Those small creatures began to flutter around the father and his child. The family members looked at each other with a sheer glee on the face of them both. Then they gazed to the sky above and collectively, still holding their hands together, they started to ascend to the heavens with butterflies.

Pokéumans: re-lived part 1 "From parallel worlds" Chapter 9 "A new normal"“So, how did it go young pokéuman?” “…” The shiny toxtricity in front of me smiled warmly and cocked his eyebrow in curiosity. “Is there anything you need to talk about? I’m supposed to help you in these visits you know.” “Why didn’t my ability help me? I was destroyed back there, with everyone to watch… I-I didn’t even want this, any of this.” I pleaded. “How are you so sure it didn’t? Sure, just because you may have an advantage it doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically be good at something.” Kalled said. “But everyone’s supposed to be good at this… we’re pokemon, that’s all everyone seems to talk about a-and I don’t know but I thought maybe it was supposed to come naturally to me b-but-” Kalleq cut me off before I could continue rambling. “Ah, that’s not necessarily true, some pokemon are stronger than others in battle, sure, but that doesn’t mean every pokemon is meant for battle, some pokemon heal, some provide services and every pokemon has their own set of skills that make them useful, every single one.” Kalleq argued. “And what about toxtricity? Aren’t we supposed to be punks? Y’know, aggressive, tough, cruel fighters? I’m nothing like that and I don’t want to be like that!!!” I shouted, Kalleq’s smile seem to drop for a moment as he went lost in thought for a moment, he stayed quietly before speaking. “Well… I suppose you could say that about us.” He then took a deep breath. “But personally, between you and me, I never cared for it, I never cared for battle, for toughness or for any superficial aspects, I went through my own path, I may be a toxtricity, but I could be any other pokemon just as much! It doesn’t define me, and I don’t think it should you, I think… I think I understand what you’re going through young one, and frankly, if there are people out there like us who don’t put all of our value on our toughness or our ability to battle, then they’ll be the ones that will forget about the tournament the easiest.” I held my head down for a moment before looking up “Do… do you think there are others like that?” Kalleq chuckled. “There’s already two of us; there will always be more.” I couldn’t help but chuckle as well. “Yeah… I suppose you’re right.” “Till we meet again.” And with that, I woke up I woke up quietly, not a sound coming from the room allowing me to peacefully stretch and rub my eyes to be greeted by the artificial light of- WAIT! “What the- Where’s everyone?! What time is it? Did I miss breakfast or…” It didn’t take a lot for me to realise what had gone on, walking over to Demian’s alarm, the one that usually blasted at ultra-high volumes and woke everyone up, it was fully switched off, I also noticed everything else that could be shut off was shut off and every curtain and door and anything that could bring out light in the area was tampered with to ensure it did so as little as possible. “SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, I BETTER NOT HAVE MISSED BREAKFAST!!” I screamed as I ran down the halls, my worst fears only being confirmed as I didn’t bump into anyone while running at tiring speeds, telling me everyone had already left their dorms and were possibly even already at school, I walked down all the way to the cafeteria, to find it predictably empty... it was then my turn to run all the way back to the academy area, even if I knew I’d already miss my first class, but before I made it back to the stairs I bumped into a familiar figure. “Rodri?” I exclaimed, I stopped in my tracks almost like a car pressing the brakes at the last moment, causing me to fall face first into the chesnaught’s fluffy body, luckily it seemed like he had already noticed me, and I didn’t take him by surprise. “Hey Lex! I’m so glad to see you, wait, shouldn’t you be in class?” he asked, raising his eyebrow in a tinge of worry that he seemed to try (in vain) to mask his enthusiasm. “I-I know I’m happy to see you too but t-that’s the thing my arseholes roommates made me sleep in so I could miss my class…” At that point I couldn’t go on, I was too exhausted, and I had to put my hands on my knees and take a long minute to catch my breath. “Do you… have the time?” Rodri shrugged for a moment; he raised an arm to look at a small band he had on one of his spikes. “8:32, they definitely won’t be able to let you in class at this hour I’m afraid, you’ll have to wait until it’s 9.” He seemed to let out a guilty smile, showing off his large lower fangs in full glory… which I didn’t recall being right for a chesnaught but I didn’t want to give it much thought, I also noticed he displayed a new article of clothing, a golf cap. I sighed, Rodri decided to continue, seemingly realising I noticed his new attire he commented on it with a blush. “Oh, this was a gift by a… friend of mine, ahem, but regardless!” He said as he then shifted the topic to something that, unfortunately only made me feel worse. “While you’re waiting we can catch up on how you’ve been doing! I saw you in the tournament yesterday though I never got to found out how you did after it, I hope you enjoyed it at the very least!” I looked at him with the most dead inside expression I could muster. “I never want to enter a tournament ever again.” He stared at me with genuine shock, something which made me raise my eyebrow in confusion “W-w-what? Why?! What happened there!” “URGH!! I never even wanted to get in there in the first place!! I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, not after being lumped with all the delinquents and borderline criminals of the base!!! I know that stupid Demian signed me up to humiliate me and his stupid fucking plan worked and guess what!! It would’ve been ONE thing if I lost a battle, it’s another to make it to the second round without any motivation only to get absolutely decimated by a FAR more experienced fighter for EVERYBODY to see!! And all people will think is that I, a newbie who already has a bad reputation, has trouble with people and looks like someone who’d hold you at gunpoint on the street seemingly got cocky and arrogant and entered a serious competition without any training!!! T-t-they all p-probably think I deserve that h-humiliation, but I didn’t want any of this… a-anything.” I was at the verge of tears, but I forced myself to stop after I realised, I had been salivating and I didn’t want to risk releasing any potential acid or toxins, I took a deep breath and shifted to a neutral expression, wiping my tears as well, actions that felt all too familiar for me to do. “I… see.” Rodri spoke quietly, he didn’t seem to be in the mood to continue the conversation from that point. “I know full well you don’t trust him, a-and I’m pretty sure you don’t seem to like him at this point but, at the very least let the headmaster know about this, he’ll probably ignore it but that’s all I need, just… I need to stop thinking about this and head back to school.” I stated simply, the white-furred pokemon only nodded and left. I eventually made it back to class, luckily about time for the next one to begin, but it wasn’t any more pleasant than the rest of the day had been, the classmates weren’t even subtle with their murmurs and bickering, no doubt about the tournament, happening all over the classroom, several looked at me in disdain, others in preoccupation, but there was one exception, the Litleo that seemed to be my neighbour appeared disinterested at first, but as classes went on, I could notice him looking at me almost with an expression of pity? It… made me a bit curious as to what they felt, he didn’t seem like a bad person, but then again, he also hung out a lot with Raúl who I wasn’t looking forward to encountering in electric battle class. I could barely focus on any of the classes, despite waking up later it only made me feel even more exhausted and depressed, except however in social formation, where an interesting topic happened to be discussed: “We’ll be discussing the nature of Pokéumans, because yes, we are a lot more driven by instinct and our biology than humans, but it’s a completely normal part of us, a lot of us tend to feel wrong as humans because of how our behaviour is influenced by our physiology, but once our transformation happens most of us find ourselves comfortable with what we’re naturally wired for, you see a lot of fairy and psychic type pokemon at the medical staff, and that’s without even mentioning the amount of blisseys and audinos and comfeis that all flock to that job, but it’s in their nature, even when they were a human to gravitate towards helping and nurturing others, ground type pokemon are often a lot more comfortable in the sand, grass types enjoy the sun a lot more than other pokemon or humans, even individual species have their own patterns and behaviours that they naturally enjoy, cubones tend to be emotional and melancholic, and it’s something that comes naturally to them, alakazams tend to be intelligent and well spoken, so much so they’ve come across as arrogant to others in the past, but recent studies have shown that it is simply due to their brains being wired differently, and it’s normal for them, and it’s normal for you to, and what’s more, every single one of these abilities is helpful to our society.” The teacher explained. I scoffed, but I couldn’t help but wonder both through the same question that kept ringing in my mind then, What’s the use of “the punk pokemon”? All I’ve seen here is people be afraid or disgusted at me, and my own “kind” seems to do more harm than good. I swatted the thought away, surely this can’t be it, I’m not just naturally supposed to be rude and imprudent towards everyone and anything, I’m not gonna let myself be bound to what society has to say, especially Demian, we’re still human in the end and that’s what matters most! Only… was that really true? I had to catch my own thoughts right then and there, what if it is just natural for us? We’re another species, wouldn’t seeing this entirely through a human perspective be what pokextinction is doing? But then again maybe we shouldn’t let ourselves be controlled by our own instincts, we shouldn’t be told what to do, because that’s what they want. I had to put all of that on hold for the moment as I couldn’t reach a proper conclusion to that train of thought yet. Classes passed and I was surprised to see that even battle class was uneventful, for one Raúl decide to keep his distance which I found myself appreciating but also being intrigued by. By the time lunch rolled around I felt a sudden pang of hunger, I skipped breakfast sure but it still felt a lot stronger than it should, I considered briefly heading back to my dorm but I decided I should try to avoid confrontation especially when I’m this much on an empty stomach, I made it to the cafeteria with my supplies, fairly earlier than others, sat down in a table after being served a tray of breaded chicken, my favourite, it definitely lightened my mood and made me more approachable, I was about to finish when I was approached yet again by a familiar group of three. “Hey Lex.” Spoke the tatsugiri who seemed to lead the group, she was sporting a beanie with a cat themed design and a cute face, very different from her somber expression. “We wanted to apologise from what went on at the tournament, well, mainly Raúl.” The eelektrike rolled his eyes somewhat but did look rather upset at himself. “Look… I didn’t mean to shame you for your loss man, I just got curious about why you decided to participate in the first place and-“ “Raúl” Said Litleo. “Fine… fine, I’ll try not to pressure you further if that’s what you need, I’d like to apologize to Gael too but he mostly keeps to himself.” I couldn’t help but shrug. “I’ll let him know, I’m just tired at this point because I got signed up against my will but clearly no one’s going to realise that! But what do I care my reputation here was over from the moment I arrived.” I mused as I played with the little crumbs left over in my plate. “W-well in fairness you did have an unfair matchup and performed well on your first match, you did some unique things like using the English moves.” Whispered Litleo, looking away from the group, I couldn’t help but feel at ease, he was clearly the shier one of the group and I very much related, though it was definitely easier for him to appear as such compared to me and my grumpy old face. “I did also hear a lot of noise coming from your dorm the other day, they almost sounded like attacks?” Inquired Itzel “NO! W-well…” I didn’t really want them to get involved in something I’d inevitably want to learn how to deal with myself “It’s nothing you should be concerned with, I can deal.” “Well if you say so, but if you ever need somewhere to crash, we’re right in front of you.” I raised a brow, why were they all suddenly being so nice? They reminded me almost of how Gael acted when we first met, and like then I had no clue why that would even be the case, people see me as a bully now just by being alongside Demian and his associates, why did they behave differently? It was only Litleo who appeared to be amicable to me in class. “Well… I might actually, there’s some stuff going on today s-so mind if I-I… um, w-well, just for a few hours I think.” With that, the tatsugiri nodded and the group headed off to their own table and eventually the lunch period ended, when I made it back to my dorm, I looked over to the door in front of it, with a lot of nervousness, I knocked and I was allowed in, the atmosphere was tense for a bit and I was quiet, I stayed quiet even as everyone else slowly started to relax and ease off, chatting, playing stuff on the tv and generally hanging out while I simply stood in the corner, I couldn’t let myself relax, I had too much weigh in my mind, and eventually, after a slow hour, I left the dorm quietly and unnoticed. As I got out, I suddenly heard Gael’s familiar, albeit muffled, voice suddenly shout in what seemed to be pain, not having a moment to react, I practically banged the door’s touch activation open and I found Gael sitting alone on a bed, crying and holding his face in pain. “GAEL?! ARE YOU OK??!! WHAT’S WRONG?! ARE YOU HURT!!??!” I exclaimed, rushing to his aid as soon as I stepped foot inside. “L-Lex?!” Gael looked at me surprised, clearly he hadn’t noticed my arrival, and I saw it, a massive red bloody scar was present in his right eye, not only that, but similar scars were also present on his pincers, almost like sharp claws grotesquely piercing out of his body, his pincer tail was splatterd in blood as well, he also sported some shiny metal clips, one in his ear, two in his left wing. “What happened to you!! Did Demian hurt you?! Do you need to go to a hospital!!” I was practically grabbing him by the arm almost rushing him out of the dorm before he stopped me, clearly still agitated from whatever had been going on.“No!! No!! NO!!! No it’s just… It’s not blood it’s not anything painful it’s just… I think I might be developing hybrid traits, at the worst time possible…” The gliscor? Explained, as he was slowly start to find some composure. “Hybrid traits? Aren’t we already hybrids?” I asked, but before he could reply memories flashed in my mind, for a long while one could wonder how we could tell each other apart from others of the same species of pokemon and while people generally have different minor traits something that was common was for other pokemon to have certain aspects that set them out, that made them look like other pokemon, before I could continue my train of thought then, Gael shook his head and sniffled. “No, some pokemon well, it’s actually fairly common that, uh, we have traces of dna of separate species and combined that with our unstable combination of those genes and our human side, some of us develop mutations and develop traits of other pokemon we tend to favour… my second favourite pokemon is zangoose and well…” Gael started breaking down again. “I…I just sniff why now??? Why me??? Now I even look more predatory!!! I saw how you looked at me, I was covered in BLOOD, it may be a pattern but who’s gonna realise that?! It. Looks. Like. BLOOD!!!!” Gael continued to sob and I stood speechless, I found myself surprised yet also relating myself to him, I wanted to say something, but the part of me that was afraid of confrontation, of putting myself out there in fear of messing up was trying to suppress that urge like it always managed to do, and yet, there was something different this time that overpowered that urge, something that made me speak. “Gael… I’m sorry, I probably should’ve stood by your side today, you’ve been doing a lot for me all these days and I’ve been brushing it aside like it was nothing, I-I especially didn’t mean to ruin your cover with Demian, I let myself get carried away by my frustrations and well… I’m really sorry, and if it helps you… I don’t think you feel predatory, even with your new features, a-and I mean it!!! Whenever I see you smile I was at first surprised with how sharp your tooth were b-but it was honestly so sincere that it felt comforting, t-to me anyway, I never had that even as a human…” I looked away for a moment, feeling a little sheepish and, ashamed, to me it felt like I was doing more harm than good. “I-I want to be friends with you too y’know because… you’ve been so patient with me a-and I appreciate it like you have no idea and I r-really wish I was better at showing it!” To my surprise however, I saw Gael’s expression grow less weary, there almost seem to be a glinter of something in his eyes, admiration? Maybe? I didn’t allow myself to consider such possibility. “Y-you like my smile?” He asked shyly, I couldn’t help but chuckle “Y-yeah, honest! I actually think it’s a little ease-putting.” “W-wow… I never heard that from… anyone, I mean well, even I was trying to befriend you I’d never guessed you’d find me to be, well, assuring? I guess? I’m honestly not even sure I fully understand what you mean but I expected everyone would just see me as a hungry beast.” The gliscor sighed for a moment. “Especially now that I have claws shooting out of pincers, arceus, I look like an edgy internet OC, not helped by these stupid piercings Demian forced me to get… they both still feel painful, I had heard that developing hybrid traits is like a second transformation but experiencing it… it’s something else, it hurts, just like it hurts when I was first taken, when I was all alone.” “We’ve all been there, I’ve been there, you’re not alone, a-at least I’ll try to make sure of it, like you have for me, plus… I-I kinda like how the piercings look on you, n-not that you should keep them if they hurt or feel uncomfortable but you look cool, in an admirable way, not edgy or scary I think.” The gliscor grinned, in the same assuring way I described before he spoke with one single phrase. “sniff Thank you.” Gael sniffled once again, but quickly wiped away his tears (being careful not to accidentally hurt himself with his new claws) He then tackled me in a sudden glide-hug, which caused me to fall back into my bed, after we got up, we laughed and laughed, it was then I realised me and gael had truly something special, and that I should rightfully treasure it I just didn’t realise how special. “If I’m being honest, I’ve actually thought about getting a piercing myself, but my family wouldn’t even let me, not even an earring.” I commented “Really? Why’s that?” Gael asked, I rolled my eyes. “They thought it would look gay or some shit, it’s also why they don’t like getting me anything pink coloured even though it’s my favourite colour, it’s so stupid though like who cares if I’m gay!!” “Well… are you gay?” Inquired Gael curiously. “Nah, I just like pink man, and I’m just not really feeling like finding a girlfriend.” I commented “I see…” Gael added in a strange tone. “Well, neither am I.” A while after, someone knocked at our door, and slid a letter under it, we walked over and noticed it was from Rodri! “Huh… I think that might be for me.” I spoke “Did you get in trouble?” Gael ask with a much calmer than before twinge of worry “No, no, I think he might just want to see me, er…” I opened the card and excused myself to another part of the room to read it privately. To Lex I’m deeply sorry about what happened in the tournament, I offer my deepest condolences, and I hope it hasn’t brought you down, that said, I haven’t been able to keep your comment about having a dream messenger off my head, I feel like you might need some advice for training, I’m not saying you should enter a tournament again if you don’t want to be a battler, but it’s something to keep in mind, I’ll have to explain in more detail in person though, so please meet me at the cafeteria at 4pm, it should be vacant around that time so we should have enough privacy, with that out of the way, best of luck -Rodri “So… what does he want?” Asked Gael, I found myself thinking for a moment, should I tell him about my dream messenger? Even though I wanted to be better for Gael this time that sense of “inspiration” that kept me from taking the coward’s way out didn’t come, and I simply didn’t want to have to deal with a potential confrontation from telling a non prt member about this information. “He wants to meet up in the cafeteria at 4pm tomorrow, it’s just some… things we need to talk about.” “If you say so.” Gael spoke, we both decided to let the topic go and we focused on other things, we were talking about how we were doing at school when I ended up bringing up the topic of that day’s social formation topic “They were talking about the natures of pokemon and how they supposedly influence our behaviour, how cubones cry and alakazam seem arrogant and all that stuff, I’m oversimplifying but y’know.” I explained “I know what you mean, I also had a similar class, I scoffed at first in fairness but honestly? As time goes on, I’ve realised there’s unfortunately some truth to it, I can still get pretty aggressive and fierce at times, and I can’t deny how much I enjoy soaring through the air or burrowing myself in sand.” “Right… so what does that mean for me?” I asked, he looked at me in a slightly apologetic look. “Look man, I think it’s best if you just didn’t think about it, there will be stuff you can’t help but I’ve learned it’s best if you don’t just get carried away completely by what “feels right.” I merely nodded, we spent the rest of the day talking, up until Demian and Dylan returned, where the atmosphere immediately became thick, Demian almost tried to start a fight but with both Gael and I standing to challenge him Dylan ended up pulling him away, that didn’t me we were peaceful though as for what we couldn’t achieve physically we made up for it verbally, we practically argued with each other over the most minute things throughout the day, up until we were all too tired and dealing with massive headaches and we bitterly decided to call it a night. It took me a while to even feel a little restless, especially after being high on adrenaline and stress due to the arguments we had with our roommates, I found myself going back to Gael’s hybrid traits as a distraction, and then I slowly found myself going back to noticing several traits like these in other pokemon, Itzel I noticed seemed to have tiny little horns and blue and green spots all over, I wasn’t certain but they reminded me of a gastrodon? Raúl was a bit different, mainly sporting a greenish tint and slightly more translucent appearance to his skin, if I had to guess like of the reuniclus line but I wasn’t too sure, Litleo didn’t seem to sport any of this but, then again he was a base form pokemon, Rodri meanwhile had upside down fangs, and when I combined it with his general build, which wasn’t quite the one of a chesnaught, I realised he might have some emboar in him? I think I even noticed a red feather on his back, which was odd, eventually though, my eyes started feeling heavy and I drifted off. I was back in the cold northern-looking shore of the dream dimension, I was sitting holding my knees in my arms, waiting until I noticed him. “Young pokéuman?” Came from Kalleq’s voice, I turned over to look at the shiny toxtricity, I noticed however a new aspect about him, he was displaying a colourful necklace, lashes of several colours are hanging from his neck holding a large claw/tooth like figure. “I’m glad you appreciate this fine piece of jewlery, it was very important to the culture of my people when I lived among the living pokemon in your world.” “I… see, Kalleq.” Kalleq smiled. “I can sense you’re lamenting Lex, do not worry, I’m sure my culture still survives in the world in a certain way, the reason I’m showing you this is because I was able to feel your experiences in the woken world, it seems you’ve had a lot to think about?” I nodded. “Y-yeah um, you’re my ancestor, right? Do you happen to know anything about uh, that whole nature thing? What does that mean for us, f-for toxtricities?” “Don’t you remember what we talked about yesterday? It’s up to you to be your own self, and to be completely honest with you, you and I are very different people, you come from a culture much more developed in a way, millions of years past my time, there’s still a lot about you I’m still barely close to understanding, I have to rely on the connection I share with you to fully process it, but not only that, you’re way more than a pokemon, you’re a pokeuman, there’s a part of you that’s still human and still kicking as much as the part of you that is a toxtricity, and I even sense other parts too.” “Other parts? You mean I could potentially develop hybrid traits as well?” I asked. “Only time will tell, but what I’m getting at is that is that you aren’t just a pokemon, and you have greater potential that I or anyone from my time has, I can sense that you aren’t interested in battle but I still suggest you train your abilities, it will definitely help you in the future.” “But aren’t you supposed to help me with that?? I haven’t even gotten close at all to unlocking my ability?” I complained “And how are you so sure of that young pokeuman? I think you’ll find your ability will come more naturally to you than you think, it’s more like a great sense of determination that allows one to reach your goals easier.” The toxtricity put his hand on my shoulder. “But we’ll get there, I promise.” And with that, the space started glowing brightly white Once I got done with my default routine, which now included almost constantly getting into argument with Demian and Dylan whenever all 4 of us were in the room together, Eventually though time came for me too meet up with Rodri in the cafeteria, I grabbed the letter in case I needed anything from it and I walked on nervously not sure what to expect, encountering the green-shelled giant waving excitedly at me from a table. “Hey Lex!!! Glad you could make it.” I took a seat in front of the table. “What did you need me for?” I asked. “Well, first of all I’d like to say that I’m truly sorry about what happened in the tournament, still, looking over the footage of your matches I honestly feel like you’ve still shown a decent enough of initiative in your matches! Are you sure you really don’t want to become battler?” I groaned. “Ok, what’s this about? I really wasn’t that good in that tournament!! I had like, what, one good performance against a furret? Even I know that’s not impressive! if this is about the prt, I already told you I don’t want to be involved, look-“ “I get that! I get that!” Rodri interrupted. “I don’t want to suggest you do any of those things, you’ve made it clear to me before, but still, most pokeumans would not even come close to putting as well of a fight as you did this new into the base, I just need you to know that you can be a battler if you ever so chose to, you’ve got potential, heck, you’ve even got a dimensional messenger!! Surely that’s got to mean something for you! Lex… look, we’re all pokemon here, most of us tend to have an aspect of our lives we gravitate towards naturally, and I need you to understand something about me; even before I became a quilladin, I always wanted to be someone strong that could help protect others, but I never found the opportunity, because I struggled fitting in and I was alone, but then, when I became a quilladin, this need, this desire to help others who need to be protected, it became impossible to contain, it was then when I discovered who I really was, I found myself much more active, much more social, and I enjoyed it! It wasn’t like when I was a human at all, and then I evolved, I evolved and I realised more than anything I wanted to help the prt rescue other pokeumans so that they could be able to find their place in the world just like I did right in this base! Because despite all our problems, I still think there’s something special about being a pokeuman, and I know you have it in you as well, toxtricity or not.” We stood quietly for a moment. “Speaking of, anything new from that dream messenger of yours?” I thought for a moment. “Well… he did say I could use training more.” “Then I don’t see why it’s a bad idea after all!” Rodri excitedly spoke. “Look, this was nice and all but… maybe it’s just too early to tell? I-I really don’t want to have to think about any of this nature stuff I just… I just want to be myself.” “I never doubted that for one moment Lex, just think about it ok? It was hard enough getting some free time to talk to you about this, but I’ll try to make this a regular appearance, mainly because I am obliged to keep in touch in regards to your dream messenger.” The chesnaught explained before he stood up and left, not before smiling brightly. “I wish you good luck Lex, see ya!” “Wait, what about the headmaster?!” The chesnaught stopped in their tracks. “Huh?” “Y-you said you’d try to tell Nacho about getting signed up to the tournament unwillingly, h-how did that go?” “Oh I knew I had forgotten something! Look Lex, I’m gonna have to be direct with you here it… didn’t really go well he er, said it “was a claim that was hard to prove.” And that “it was a trivial matter.” I looked down in disappointment. “Right, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” “And see… between you and me… I don’t respect Nacho at all, he’s full of prejudgements that cloud his ability to run the base competently, arceus knows how he got selected as headmaster, but the important thing is that he won’t be kind to people like you, and I won’t lie, I’ve come to not trust him to keep a pokeuman like you safe so… take care, Lex.” And with that warning out of the way, Rodri finally left the cafeteria I took on that information quietly for a moment, this had been possibly the most open Rodri had ever been with me, and I knew understood his thought process more, still, something about everyone’s suggestions to keep training rubbed him the wrong way… didn’t Kalleq suggest he had used his ability in the tournament? Maybe he didn’t realise it? He hoped it would keep developing naturally, otherwise… he’d really hate to be proven wrong after so much defiance. From then on, life at the base would become pretty routinary, I would head to school in the week, luckily after the next two tournaments it seemed like most of my reputation vanished, including that of the new kid, and most people simply chose to keep to themselves as I once again became the quiet kid, only with a record, my situation with my roommates… didn’t improve, our arguments would only get more heated to the point we’d occasionally get kicked out of our dorms, Gael and I tried to find things to do but it became difficult so we’d often just wait by, I tried to stick alongside him as much as possible and he’d do the same, but I do have to admit that I on occasion took my neighbour’s offer to crash at their dorm, Raúl mostly stopped bothering me in electric class, but we’d occasionally partner up quietly, I even got to know Litleo somewhat, occasionally partnering up with assignments, he was very shy, but we surprisingly got along, I think of the three I understood him the most, I didn’t get to know Itzel as well, but I’d regular meet up with them during lunch, where they would chat and I would unwittingly eavesdrop on them learning some of their personal details, Raúl came from ecatepec (no surprises there), Itzel’s parents both came from mainland china, but she was born and lived her whole life in Mexico, she’s also really into anime it seems, and Litleo meanwhile mainly kept to himself, he did fully decide to change his name to Litleo, he didn’t seem too sold on it but he mentioned he was very uncomfortable with his original name, so well decided to respect it, in general he didn’t seem to be much comfortable with his past life as a human as he was expected to be the man of the house in his family. With Rodri, I would continue “bumping” into him (very quickly though we’d both realise he was doing this on purpose and dropped the act.) and he’d continue to inquire as to what I was doing, it was a bit annoying but, I can’t say that I didn’t miss his presence, he was the person who rescued me into the base and there was something so genuinely honest and caring about his smile, he stopped pressuring me about tournaments which was appreciated and when I brought up arguing with my roommates, he became concerned immediately and later I’d find out he had tried to get me to transfer out of my dorm and had an argument with the headmaster, but I decided against it, I didn’t want to abandon Gael after all, which he eventually, albeit a little reluctantly agreed to, he’d also continue to hand me those weird flavoured but delicious water bottles from time to time. I’d continue meeting up with Kalleq, at first he was a little disappointed I didn’t seem to manifest my powers again, but he’d continue showing me around the dream dimension, he started showing me various different landscapes from what he claimed was the pokemon world, preserved in the dream dimension, some reminded me a lot of real world locations, I got to see the northern lights at some point and it was magical. Days would pass and I would grow accustomed to how life worked at the base, I got to see how festivities and special events worked around the base as the months passed, Halloween wasn’t very eventful, it isn’t exactly much of a big tradition here especially now that the whole point of dressing up as something you aren’t loses some weight when you aren’t a boring human, however day of the dead was different, the whole base the days prior was decked to the brim with paper decorations, cempasúchil covered the edges of the floors and walls, there was a vendor that walked through the halls giving out “pan de Muerto” for several days (which was delicious) and most importantly of all there was one giant altar in the main hall of the base, people came all over to pay their respects to all the various people they lost, it wasn’t just dead pokeumans though, a space on the altar was reserved to those pokéumans taken and brainwashed by pokextinction whom we couldn’t save in time, I couldn’t help but remember Alan, Lázaro and Yulian, the pokemon that accompanied me when I transformed, I realised the day was for them too, only their spirits weren’t able to accompany us as opposed to those that had died, so if anyone ever were to argue that lack of free will is preferable to death, I’d slap them in the face. Still, it was a bittersweet celebration, despite the negative context I couldn’t help myself but be taken in by the music and the gorgeous atmosphere, Aldo Ledesma, the announcer from the tournament also performed a gorgeous ballad in the middle of a kiosk located at the centre of the big plaza, all while the ceiling lit up in a way I couldn’t figure out simulating a beautiful, clear, starry night, I sat on the floor alongside Gael and we both took in our experiences as a Pokéuman, at the end of it all day of the dead was a big party and just because we were in the middle of a war, constantly experiencing casualties and loss, didn’t mean that we didn’t get to be happy, to be alive, plus the food that day was amazing, Gael even commented that I was starting to put on pounds. “Dude, I’m not making fun of you, but pokemon tend to have stronger metabolisms than humans, putting on pounds is significantly harder unless your species is already of a larger weight.” “A-ah shut up.” I called out in embarrassing. “I mean you don’t look… bad, just it’s a bit admirable in a curious way.” The next holiday I would get to discover as a pokéuman would be the Mexican revolution, only I would come to find out that the celebration had a different meaning to the pokéuman base: Gael and I had been discussing what to do with our holiday, Demian and Dylan seemed to have plans that probably involved going to the common floor to harass people and so we stood there figuring out how to make use of our miraculous time entirely for ourselves, that was then when an announcement rang throughout the base. “Attention pokéumans, for those who wish to attend the official celebrations for revolution and foundation day, the events will start soon at the auditorium, please enter at 2:30pm” “What’s that all about? Why is revolution day treated as a big deal like it was independence day?” I turned to Gael, who had become much more comfortable in his hybrid-like appearance and even chose to keep the piercings (though he got ones that looked less like tags). “Well because in a way this is our independence day, pokéumans came to be around the same time as the mexican revolution started since both were in 1910, but this base formed shortly after the revolution and is actually one of the oldest bases in the world! There’s a whole legend about one specific figure, you recall that hawlucha that was in the headmaster’s door?” I nodded, Gael grinned excitedly, clearly talking about something that properly interested him for once. “Well, he’s sort of seen as the main founder of the base, he’s known as “El noble de milpa alta.” (The noble of milpa alta) it was said that he was one of the many pokéumans to transform during the first wave, although some historians debate that and claim he came from some of the later ways, but regardless, his human name has been lost to time, but he chose to go by his species and by a wrestler-like alias, it is believed that he was the first person to round up other pokeumans and directly fought back against the growing pokextinction organization in Mexico, in fact.” Gael suddenly hopped from his bed, gliding briefly across the floor before grabbing a book hidden that was hastily left under the bed, on the cover was an artistic rendition of presumably the same hawlucha we are talking about, only he didn’t look like a normal hawlucha, he was slightly bigger and bulkier, had more feathers, but most of all wore an impressive, shimmering, black and gold mask that covered even his shoulders and chest, it was a majestic sight and I was awestruck. Gael looked over my shoulder with a big grin. “I know, right? Well, as I was saying, according to this and several other writings we have of the events that lead to the foundation of our base, it is said that he eventually headed to Japan and worked closely with the pokeuman organization headquarters, which definitely means he had to have gotten in contact with mew, although we don’t know much about his personal life, we owe everything here to him.” “Woah…” I exclaimed, amazed and with a large smile of my own. “that’s so cool!!! Hawlucha is actually my third favourite pokemon.” “Yeah, hawlucha is a great pokemon, I’d say I would’ve love to be one but I’m happy as a gliscor.” “You’d rather burrow yourself in sand than be a big cool luchador?” I stated jokingly “Hey I’m not the one drinking stagnated water!” Gael rebutted, I was confused, however. “What?! Ew!!! I’ve never done that?!!!” “Oh really? Then what were in all those water bottles you keep drinking?” “That was… that… oh… oh arceus no…” “Wait you didn’t know?!!” “I…” I was startled, speechless, unable to speak, wait those are the same thing. “…They do taste pretty good.” Gael just laughed. “Well, it’s normal and even healthy for you according to the pokedex.” “Really?” I asked slightly incredulously, he merely nodded. The next major holiday I got to experience was Christmas, which was a bit more mixed, not because of the experience itself, it just wasn’t a holiday that was that important to me and Gael, before the day actually came the base did something interesting by having it snow through most of December using the help of the base’s ice types, this was amazing for those of us who were new as we never really got to experience snow in our lives at all! It was… alright, I mean it never got too difficult to deal with anyway, there was also a giant tree covered with pokemon themed decorations and several gifts, in the last day of the school year we had a gift exchange, both for our regular class and our battle class, I was unfortunate enough to get Raúl for the battle class exchange so I had to ask Itzel and Litleo what I should get for the slightly translucent eel, it turned out to not be as complicated as I originally thought as I really just needed to find him some trading cards for a game I didn’t recognize, as for what I asked for the exchange, I just asked for replacement school supplies as I was never good at keeping them for more than a few months without losing them. During December, I had tried to sneak away from my other roommates, who seemed to be particularly insistent that very day, to watch the junior Eurovision song contest of 2022 live, since I didn’t have the privacy to do it at my dorm I tried to head to one of the computers at the library, borrowing some headphones so I wouldn’t distract anyone who was actually there to study, especially since I knew I would be there for a few hours, I had gotten into the event earlier in the year and had been following most of the season, but then a little something called turning into a pokéuman and ending up living in a hidden underground civilization with crappy roommates ended up kinda taking my attention away from the event, but I was still determined to finally watch it live, I had followed most of the songs already with my money being on Portugal and the UK though I was saddened by the fact I was likely unable to vote given our circumstances as- “Lex? What are you doing here?” Came from the voice of the only one of my roommates who didn’t make my life hell, Gael, who startled me and, had it not been for the fact I was in a library I would’ve let out a scream. “U-uh I was just watching stuff, there was this one thing I was planning on watching today a-and I needed to get away from Demian for a few hours.” “Really? What are you watching?” He asked in curiosity as he turned to look at my monitor, which was currently in the middle of Portugal’s performance. “Cool, is that a kid?” “O-oh yeah it’s the junior version of the Eurovision thing I talk to you about, it’s p-pretty cool they’ve got unique songs even if definitely for kids though I guess I am technically on the age range for it still but u-uh well it’s very niche and all-“ “Can I watch?” Gael asked, taking me by surprise. “O-o-oh, w-well sure I-I don’t know if it’s y-your thing b-b-b-but sure” Since I was wearing string headphones I merely gave the one in my other ear (don’t ask how it works for my horns I barely know myself, at the very least I can’t produce ear wax anymore) for him to put on his ear.” “So what country is next?” “Serbia, actually, they’re one of my favourites, it’s a slower song but I do like the melody and her voice i-it’s very sweet, unfortunately she got sick so this is a rehearsal but I hope it’s still going to sound good. I didn’t notice it myself as the song began, mainly because I was likewise captivated, but Gael had been taken in by the performance immediately, when I looked over at him he has sparks in his eyes like it was magic, from the beginning with the slow music-box style tune, to the first instrumental break with the strings speeding up the pace of the song and featuring a ballet dancer, then through the second instrumental with the trombone, and then through the end of the song, we both connected to the singer’s sweet vocals for the three minutes she got to sing, we didn’t know a lick of Serbian, but we were pretty sure we understood the message of the song after that, Armenia and Ukraine came later, and though we had an appreciation for the Ukrainian message of hope and strength during a war, something we could relate to very as pokéumans, none of the songs, even in the recap resonated with us as much as the melancholic Serbian ballet did. By the end of the year Gael and I were looking forward to the next editions of the adult and junior contest, together. The day before Christmas, or “Nochebuena” As it’s known over here had a lot of events prepared, a tv speech, some festivities and events, but the only truly important part for me was the main dinner, a HUGE, delicious meal where every pokéuman that was currently at the base, because of course, nurses and those stationed outside the base were unable to join in, were all in the cafeteria, from civilians to the PRT, I sat in a corner with Gael and the more reluctant Demian and Dylan, but I was able to spot and wave towards our neighbours and Rodri, separately, mouthing merry Christmas at them, a gesture they shared back and I was able to understand now that I got used to all the bodily quirks of pokéumans after all this time, the cooks were cooking frantically constantly adding new dishes, complements and desserts to the table, almost all of it was too delicious for anyone to leave unfinished, pretty much no food ended up wasted that day, my favourite of them all? Definitely the flan. New year’s had probably been the most surreal holiday of the bunch, with 2023 on the loom, there wasn’t much to for most of the day however they did announce that curfew would be extended all the way till 2am to celebrate the passing of the year, some people went to the main hall to celebrate, but most of us stayed in our dorms and watched the countdown on tv, which included me, Gael, and weirdly enough Demian and Dylan, and that’s what made it surreal, all four of us were hanging out in the couch, telling jokes and laughing along like we actually got along with each other, though I think it was mainly due to the fact that the dark types were absolutely HAMMERED with alcohol they definitely didn’t have legal access to, but there really wasn’t much we could do about it. I yawned as I sat alongside Gael, since his species was more nocturnal he was nowhere near as tired as I was so by the time the countdown ended I was leaning on his shoulder pretty much about to faint like I had lost another tournament, my final thoughts of 2022 were that, things may have changed a lot, and though at first I thought I would’ve just had to deal with high school and a post pandemic world and not a secret war between creatures of myth I was suddenly a part of, I was glad I at the very least had someone like the gliscor to live this wild adventure alongside with. I woke up the next year with little energy, though I wasn’t as bad as the pair of hungover dark types, Gael had been resting though clearly more due to his nocturnal tendencies than anything, I walked over to the bathroom to freshen up and check myself on the mirror, Gael was right, I was definitely putting up pounds yet something about it felt natural, as I splashed some water on my face I was greeted by a new sight on my amphibian chin. A small tuft of fur, half black and half white, seemingly grew overnight.