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your way is not of pain
your destiny not ordained
stand up, brave warrior
brush the dust from your shoulders
and keep fighting

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fighter by attributionalternate_emailstygianoia

posted 4 days ago, edited 4 days ago

When giving up is not an option.

poem poetry writing

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rebellionevery time i smilelaugh, rejoice, singevery time i am given kindnessand every time i am smiled ati win, over and over and overfor there is no greater rebellionthan my existence

privilege vs. allowanceit is such a kindnessto allow somebody to beexactly as they arei am so very sorrythat you were never handed it and thank youfor the allowanceof myselfi have neverhad the privilege before

homefallen out of the midnight skya deep-end drop into starlit seascoming down to dusted earthin a tragic, yet brilliant blaze of glorypast millions of strings of lightyears of luminescence awayhe finds home

pride monththe pharmacy down the streethas a sign on its sliding doorit says ‘everyone is welcome’though it wasn’t there before with playful, blocky textdecorated in progressive coloursit certainly does not feel this waythough, maybe it does to others? because he still walks to the countertugging, pulling at his baggy shirthe asks for the birth control quietlyafraid it might get him hurt it still says ‘feminine paper’in the aisle near the cashiernot period nor menstrualbecause god forbid the children hear all the congratulatory cards and baby clothesare pink for girls and blue for boysas if a child has the foresight, the freedomto question their parents’ choice the flags and celebratory hatsare covered in logos of sterilised whiteas companies attempt to ownthe struggle for our human rights on being trans, though i can’t speak to thati can certainly criticize, when a bar is set this lowwhen all he’s ever felt the need to saywas an apology for being so i do not know if i believe youdespite the sign on your front door… isn’t it just a performance for the customersso that they’ll give you more?

faithfulfor as rustedand as wornas i ami will foreverbe your sword

starsyou made tiny starsdance at the cornersof my darkened eyesand then i realisedi wanted those starsto grow ever brighter

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GriefI rememberChildish doodles of wolves in classTracing dragons and carving stampsA childhood unburdenedBy the world I rememberNotebooks full of daydreamsThings to hide from parentsNotes passed in class and games on the playgroundA mind brightWith inspiration and promise I rememberA child faster than any otherCatching lizardsRunning laps and playing tagA body unbrokenBy time

Fairy ClubI can’t recall how the argument started, but I remember why: Sabrina wanted to be the leader of Fairy Club. Fairy club took place during recess and consisted of me, my twin sister, and a mutual friend named Sabrina. We would pretend to be elemental fairies with winged horses that would carry us around. We had never had an official vote to decide who was leader, but I ended up naturally stepping into the role, since I had decided our meeting place and led our activities. Our meeting place was a large tree in the middle of the playground, and at the beginning of recess we would all group up and go make potions or groom our horses. It was my favorite part of the day, and I always eagerly waited for it so I could see my friends and we could go off and have magical adventures. Until the fight. My sister was present for the fight but didn’t participate. Instead, she plucked grass from the ground, watching as me and Sabrina fought without a mediator. “But I’m the leader of Fairy Club.” I told Sabrina, trying to reason with her “I made it.” “No, you didn’t!” she yelled back “I made it! I just let you be leader!” "I did!” I began to yell at her back “You’re just lying!” “Am not!” she stamped her feet at the ground, pointing at me accusingly “tell me when you made Fairy Club then! When did you make it!?” I stammered, unable to come up with a response. For some reason, I was certain she wanted the specific day I had made Fairy Club, which slipped my mind. Despite my attempts to throw the question back at her, she rebuffed it, insisting that I tell her when I made it first. We were both growing increasingly frustrated, yelling and throwing the worst insults we could think of. I reached my breaking point when my sister joined in. “Um, I think Sabrina should be leader. You’ve been leader for a really long time.” My sister piped up, getting up from the grass. She stood behind Sabrina, making her position visually known. In my eyes, the ultimate betrayal had occurred. My own sister didn’t even agree with me. “FINE!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, seething with rage “You can be leader of Fairy Club! But I’m LEAVING!” I ran away, pulling my imaginary horse with me to hide behind another large tree, far away from the playground. I wanted them to find me, and apologize to me, and ask me to come back. But they didn’t. Rapidly, anger and vindication seeped from my body, and sorrow took its place as I began to weep. After that, I never found another group to be with during recess. Sometimes I would play with other groups, but I never found one that I became a part of. I had become a loner. In third grade, I tried to rejoin Fairy Club, but quickly realized that Fairy Club bored me. Maybe I had been ignored by Sabrina, who was now leader. Maybe I just didn’t have it in me to forgive Sabrina. Maybe I just had grown out of it. I can’t remember. But soon after joining, I silently left. Looking back, I realize I never really recovered from leaving my only friend group. During 4th and 5th grade, I chose to hide in the doorframe that led to gym and read books instead of playing with my friends, because I had no friends. I’m sure me and Sabrina would have still grown apart over the years, as even in 5th grade, long after Fairy Club ended, I never reconnected with Sabrina. Elementary school was a lonely experience for me, and I can only wonder if it would have been different if I was willing to let go of my pride.

Heart of the Storm - Chapter 2 - Ninjago Fanfic“This would go by quicker if you held still,” Zane said simply, holding a clean rag and a bottle of antiseptic. Lloyd was laid on his bed, his head positioned in a way to give Zane easy access to his neck. The bleeding had stopped, but cleaning it burned more than Kai’s own fire. “I’d stop moving if you stopped hurting me.” Zane poured some of the antiseptic onto the rag. “I’ll stop hurting you if you stop moving. Hold still.” Zane gently pressed the rag to Lloyd’s neck, causing him to yelp and instinctively move away from Zane. “Lloyd, this is basic procedure. Please hold still.” “C-can I help at all?” Kai rambled, looking over Zane’s shoulder. “I can get you more rags or I can hold a flashlight so that you can see better or I can-” Zane lets out a breath. “Kai, you’re pacing again.” Kai stopped moving, realizing he had been in motion for a few minutes. “You couldn’t even see me.” Zane looked over his shoulder. “Your pacing makes Lloyd anxious, which causes his heartrate to elevate. His heart rate was elevating, therefore you were pacing.” Kai rolled his eyes and pouted. “I don’t cause anxiety.” Zane smirked slightly. “It also sounded like a hippo was stampeding through the room. You’re heavy footed.” “AM NOT!” Jay walked into the room holding a blanket, Nya following close behind him. “Hey, I grabbed you a blanket because I-” Jay stopped talking when he spotted a bloodied rag on the ground beside Zane. “Yep. That’s blood. Neck blood. Wow. I don’t like that.” He placed the blanket at the foot of the bed and quickly rushed out, shouting, “Good luck with the neck blood!” as he left. Nya shrugged. “He’s had a weird thing about blood lately. Don’t mind him.” “Can I please have quiet?” Zane asked, patiently. “Lloyd needs to be cleaned and the distractions aren’t helping.” “A distraction is exactly what he needs,” Cole responded, walking into the room with a warm teapot and a teacup. He placed them on Lloyd’s bedside table and took a knee, getting on his level. “You know we’re supposed to fight the bad guys, not ourselves, right Greenie?” “It’s a long story. I didn’t do it on purpose.” Seeing his opportunity, Zane pressed the antiseptic against his neck again, but Cole grabbed his head before he could move away. “Hey, just look at me, tough guy. Don’t be a baby.” Lloyd closed his eyes to try to keep tears from falling down his face. “Easy for you to say,” he whined. “You can’t feel it.” “If these scar over, what story are you gonna tell people?” Lloyd opened his eyes, confused. “Story?” “Well, you can’t just tell people you lost a fight with the air,” Cole joked. “You gotta give them something like, ‘Oh these scars? It was a big ass cat. If you think this looks bad, you should see the cat!’ I like that idea.” “I’m not going to tell people a cat attacked me.” Cole nodded. “Fair…we’ll say it was an armadillo.” Lloyd choked out a pained laugh, wincing as Zane touched his neck with the rag again. “What the hell are you talking about?” “Um, I very clearly said armadillo, did I not?” “He did!” Kai chimed in. Cole smiled at him. “Thank you, Kai. Lloyd, giant armadillos have shockingly sharp claws.” Lloyd rolled his eyes. “You’re not helping.” “All cleaned,” Zane said. “The worst is over.” Cole winked at Lloyd. “I kept you still, didn’t I? Sounds like I helped plenty.” “You better be nice Lloyd,” Kai laughed, “Or else Cole will have to use his big muscles to hold you down next time.” Cole took a step back, his confident shoulders sinking slightly. He looked away from the group as he said, “Oh, yeah. I’ll uh…do that…next time.” He took a breath before turning to leave. “Just holler if you need me.” Nya’s eyes followed Cole as he left the room. “I’m going to head out too. I gotta make sure Jay didn’t faint in the hallway or anything.” Zane offered a hand to Lloyd to help him sit up. He reached into a first aid kit he had with him and pulled out a tube of ointment. “Keep the area clean and uncovered and apply this twice a day - once in the morning and once at night.” “Thank you Zane.” Zane smiled warmly. “Don’t move next time and I will be done sooner.” Lloyd laughed. “Yes, doc, I’ll do better next time.” Zane patted Lloyd’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He then stood up, grabbed his medical supplies, and left the room. Lloyd grabbed the blanket and wrapped himself up, doing his best to get comfortable. Kai sat down silently next to him. The two existed in each other’s peaceful quiet, until Kai got up and poured the tea into the teacup and handed it to Lloyd. “So, are we going to talk about it?” Lloyd took a sip from his tea. “Talk about what?” Kai gave him a doubtful look. “Lloyd. You call us for backup and we arrive to you attacking yourself.” He took a deep breath. “I was scared, Lloyd. I’ve been fighting by your side for years, but I’ve never seen you like that before.” Lloyd shifted uncomfortably. “There was something wrong with the black fog.” Kai nodded. “Yeah, that mist looked nasty. I would’ve gotten stuck in it too if Nya hadn’t stopped me.” “Why’s that?” “I saw you in trouble,” Kai admitted. “Nothing else mattered. Nothing was going to keep me from saving you. Nothing.” Lloyd laughed. “Nothing, except Nya.” Kai playfully punched Lloyd’s arm. “You get what I mean.” The two sat for a few more moments in silence, before Kai started speaking again. “Can we talk about what happened to you in there?” Lloyd nodded, placing his teacup down. “Well, I was entirely blind. The second it touched me, it was like it swallowed me in darkness. I then heard a voice, calling out for me, so I tried following it. Right when I thought I found it, it felt like something wrapped around my neck. I felt like I was suffocating-” “Which is why you clawed at your neck,” Kai finished. “That makes sense.” “The weirdest part about the whole thing was the voice,” Lloyd admitted. “Why’s that?" Lloyd hesitated for a second. “I could’ve sworn it was Rumi calling out for me.” Kai’s expression soured. “Of fucking course.” “I’m serious, Kai!” “I know, and I’m not doubting you, but god this chick just doesn’t know when to quit it.” “Do you really think she’s behind the attack?” Kai shrugged. “I can’t say for sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she survived that building collapse.” As his anger built, Lloyd could feel Kai’s natural heat he gave off burn hotter. Lloyd pulled his legs up to his chest. “Can we not talk about this?” Kai snapped out of his anger, his temperature returning to normal. “Oh, yeah, of course. So besides the attack, how was the con?” Lloyd groaned. “It was great until my autographed comic got swapped with someone else’s.” Kai’s expression dropped. “NUH UH!” Lloyd nodded, pointing to his backpack. “I got stuck with someone else’s damn comic book.” “That sucks!” Kai thought for a moment. “Any chance we could find this person and get the book swapped?” Lloyd shrugged. “She was in full cosplay. I have no clue what she actually looks like.” “I wish you the best, brother,” Kai said, standing up. “Jay and I have our gaming marathon tonight, so I should get going so I can beat his ass. But you come get me if you need anything, okay?” Lloyd nodded. “Thank you.” As Kai stepped out of the room, he yelled over his shoulder, “AND MAKE SURE YOUR DISHES MAKE IT TO THE SINK!” “WHATEVER, MOM!” “WhAtEvEr, MoM!” Kai mocked, his giggling vanishing as he made his way down the hall. Lloyd finished the rest of his tea, breathing slowly in the silence as the Bounty swayed beneath him, her floorboards creaking ever so slightly. He tried to let his mind rest, but he couldn’t shake everything going through his head. Lloyd drifted between sadness, guilt, and fear, while reliving today’s events. He wasn’t sure if he believed it was Rumi. Part of him wanted it to be, but he didn’t know why. Everything felt like it was weighing him down, making his head feel heavy. Not knowing what else to do or where else to go, Lloyd slid out of bed and wandered out of his room, his blanket still wrapped around him. Lloyd went down the hall a few doors, stopping at the room at the end of the hall. He knocked on the door and crossed his fingers, smiling when Nya opened the door. “Oh! Uh, hey, Lloyd.” Nya seemed nervous to have him at her door, but Lloyd didn’t notice. “Hi! I’m glad Jay is busy tonight. May I come in?” Before Nya could respond, Lloyd walked into her room. “You said previously that if I needed girl help that I could come to you.” Nya smiled awkwardly. “I did.” “And tonight, Jay and Kai are pulling their video game all nighter.” “They are.” “So that means you’re available to chat for a bit!” Nya shook her head. “Sorry Lloyd, but I have plans.” Lloyd gave her a confused look. “This late at night? And in your pajamas?” “Oh, am I interrupting?” Cole asked behind Lloyd. Lloyd turned around to find Cole shirtless in his pj pants, holding a pillow tightly against his chest. “I can come back later.” “No!” Nya shouted. “Lloyd was just leaving.” “I was?” Lloyd asked. Nya grabbed Lloyd’s arm, dragging him towards the door. “Yes. I’m doing-” Lloyd grabbed the door frame, stopping Nya dead in her tracks. “Cole? You’re doing Cole?” “NO!” Nya yelled, trying to hold back laughter. Cole giggled, still standing in the hallway. “Kai and Jay have their thing, so Nya and I have ours.” “Oh! Perfect! The more the merrier!” Lloyd turned and walked back into the room, pulling Nya along with him. Nya released his arm. “Lloyd, really, can we please do this another night?” Cole shook his head. “Nya, it’s okay.” Nya gave him a worried look. “Are you sure?” Cole hesitated, studying Lloyd’s face, then nodded slowly. “I think I’m okay with this.” He then took a seat in the middle of the room while Nya pulled out a box from her closet filled with various skincare products. “Awesome, thank you!” Lloyd said, taking a seat on the ground beside him. “It’s about Rumi.” Both Cole and Nya froze. “Wait, seriously?” Nya asked. Lloyd nodded. “Yeah. That fog stuff earlier made me think I heard her.. “Do you think she did this?” Nya questioned, rummaging through her box. “I’m not sure. I was telling Kai about it and I don’t think he quite knew how to take it.” Nya tossed a spa headband with brown bear ears to Cole, who slid it onto his head. He then used a hair tie he had around his wrist to pull his remaining hair into a bun. Lloyd stared at him for a moment, giving him a weird look, before continuing. “I could’ve sworn I heard her yelling for me, but when I tried to follow her voice, an invisible force started choking me. It’s why I scratched up my neck - I was trying to breathe and remove whatever was choking me.” Nya grabbed a small pink container and sat in front of Cole. She popped it open, dipped her fingers in, then started coating Cole’s face with it. “I’m not normally one to judge, but what is this?” Nya looked over her shoulder. “Cole’s needed some destressing time, so this is our routine. We have a spa night where we pamper ourselves and talk.” “Talk about what?” Lloyd asked. Nya looked at Cole, silently letting him guide the conversation. “Well,” Cole started, “I’ve got a lot of personal feelings I’ve been working through, too. Feelings that I’m not comfortable sharing with any of the guys.” “Dude, you know we’re all always here for you, right?” Lloyd reminded him. “Oh, of course! I’ve just got some more personal things going on.” Lloyd watched as Cole, a tall muscular man, sunk into himself, looking small and unconfident. “Nya’s been helping me work through my feelings.” “What kind of feelings?” Lloyd asked. “Like, relationship feelings?” “You…could say that, I guess.” “OOOOooooOOOO,” Lloyd teased. “Who is the lucky girl, huh?” Cole tensed up, almost like he was preparing himself to be punched. He swallowed hard, gathering every ounce of courage he could find, before saying three words Lloyd would’ve never expected. “Lloyd….I’m gay.”

InspirationWhy do we write, scribbling ink onto paper?Why do we do it now instead of later?Why indeed do we do so many things in life,Instead of facing head on its many strifes? For some, these stanzas and rhymes help a bit.They make us think and let us control it.Illusions of stability made by turning thoughts into words,Otherwise, would any of us even be heard? Flowing,Freeform,Uniquelystructured, Or perhaps evenA short and simple haikuPacked with a large punch. So many different types await the creative mind.Some may choose to let them rhyme entwined,Or to let them fall flat without a twin. There is no wrong way to write,Nor is there a wrong reason,But to ignore it at all,Commits against yourself treason. Let the creative juices flow freely,Let them go how they might.However your poem turns out,Just make sureit feelsright. trophy

Council of Origin - The Journeys Begin - Chapter Four

WingmanThe crowd chattered relentlessly around Scurlock and Bryon, though it did part easily for Scurlock’s massive form. The two brothers strode side by side, enjoying the mild spring weather during some much-needed time off from their respective jobs. With the carnival in town, they had decided to pay it a visit together, taking in the colorful tents and numerous craft stalls. Bryon, it seemed, had another agenda in mind. “So when are you going to begin courting somespire?” Scurlock did a double take, frowning. “You know I don’t do well with all that… romance stuff,” he said, shrugging. “Besides, the Academy keeps me busy. I don’t have time for that.” “Eh? Weren’t you the one going on about family lines and noble obligations the other day?” “I didn’t mean both of us have to find someone! Just… one of us, and you’re the one who likes to attend social gatherings and parties and all that stuff.” Bryon scoffed. “Come on, there has to be someone who’s caught your eye. What about Bramble? He’s into all the gym stuff like you. Or Sadine, they’ve been eyeing you pretty blatantly the last two times you were in the same room. Or-” “I said no, Bry!” Scurlock growled, rage suddenly roiling in his chest and forcing the glowing markings of his furnace to ignite and spark with energy. “I don’t want to pursue any of that romantic junk. Just because you want to doesn’t mean I have to. Now drop it.” Bryon raised an eyebrow, taking one step back at the display of anger. “I didn’t realize how strongly you felt about this.” “Neither did I,” Scurlock admitted, taking a deep breath to calm his furnace. “Sorry. Can we move on to something else?”