for the past few months ive just had bad feelings about a cherished friend of mine... really i was feeling more sad that they were interacting with other people more than me in the same timespan or something uhh yeah i just felt ignored and uhh hopelessness due to it tbh

this month im improving on that and then we finally talked that one indicator of my spiraling down... out
and yes i did feel so much better but the negative feelings are still there, i just had a better way to hide it?? idk what to say but its just there looking in the back of my mind instead of actively changing the way i talk and view people

and then theres today where i was in a call with my friends for the first time - fellow slinger fan went to sleep early so :[ but at least theres still them.... yea the latter thats who im talking about

so the call.. . . fuck it lasted for almost 5 hours i feel like such a loser but its its just for her!!! 1! !!1!1!!!!!!2! ! yayyyyy :D
instead of feeling like shit that this may be my last one with them or something i feel absolutely epic im replaying cool and badass fun facts about her and yeah i just like her idngjdnckfkvkfkcckckckc i know her lore more now but i feel like im only scratching the surface but whatever its more than i needed anyways....
its funny how theyre just mostly nonchalant and unattached to stuff, only really motivated to draw while theres me whos the total opposite - also i think my motivation to draw comes from the outside now
idk yo theyre just so fucking cool and a lovely bubbly dude aaaa I LOVE HER wait i dont know if i love her or if this is one my obsession highs again

also shoutout to the random noob avatar person for staying all the way through the uhh
holy fucking shit it was almost 5 hours??? also thanks voltz for calling me out btw