Throughout the cultures developed by the native peoples of North, Central, and South America all alike, canoes have been essential ways of safely getting across rapid river water, catching fresh fish, delivering valuable trade goods, and launching stealth attacks on rival tribes or non-pacifistic Europeans. On a Thanksgiving trip to Stockbridge, Massachusetts, in celebration of the 60th anniversary of the wildly hilarious littering incident that inspired folk singer/songwriter Arlo Guthrie's magnum opus "Alice's Restaurant Massacree," once a deadpan war protest that has evolved rather nicely into a non-controversial Thanksgiving tradition, Princess Elsie took an interest in traveling upstream the way the Wampanoag Native Americans did in times long past. Thus, Sir Robert MacDiarmid took it upon himself to give her a tranquil, romantic river ride through the autumn woods. For lunch, they'll be going to Theresa's Stockbridge Cafe, formerly the site of The Back Room, the song's namesake restaurant founded by the late Alice Brock. For dinner, they'll be going to the Guthrie Center, once the church where Alice and her husband Ray resided, for a "Thanksgiving dinner that can't be beat" community event.

Colonel Knight Rider and Princess Elsie belong to me.