Hi! It's been a while, huh? I want to move my fan art things over to my persona account, BloodGuppy, but I don't want to re-upload them. I don't knowwww. Most of them is sketches I didn't really finish, and that account was made for sketches. Ever since I learned I can just draw my favorite characters whenever I want, I've been in my own fan art (andsomeselfshippinghaha) hell for the past several months. I have some finished fan art drawings and I never post them anymore. Not here, at least. I've been having that same problem with all of my socials. The socials I want to be active on, anyways. Feels like something is holding me back, like walking on eggshells when I post fan art but I can't for the life of me figure out why. I'm going to chalk it up to the fact I've been doing OC work for quite some time now, I feel that's all anyone really follows me for. And posting fan art suddenly is betraying that. And I know that isn't entirely true, and I know I shouldn't care so much, that it's not that big of a deal, especially when some of my oldest accounts I made exclusively for fandom, but it really does bother me. So here I am, rambling about all of this. Sometimes I think, maybe I just need a change... But that's scary, too. For right now, I have laundry to fold.
I got bored, came on here, decided to do a meme.
C- Cottingley Fairies by Thingy
Y- You by Radiohead
A- ATWA by System of a Down
N- Never Likely by PLOSIVS
I- In the Garden by Red Vox
D- Diamond Lightning by Minus the Bear
E- Everything She Wants by WHAM!
T- Thunderclap by FalKKonE
I- I Could Never Be Your Man by Bass Drum of Death
D- Digging the Grave by Faith No More
E- E/Or by Heavy Vegetable
I couldn't find a lot of songs in my playlists that start with E for some reason. I think E/Or was the only one? Bedgetime....
That title was just a place holder but yeah okay lets keep that
So the less ramble-y version of this is basically:
I am in an art funk or something and I have no idea when I'll be back to posting art. Whenever I draw art nowadays its just small sketches rather than a bigger picture. Something something random imaginary pressure to post all the time makes me not want to post at all and I am lurking all of my social/art accounts right now because I think social media sort of sucks and something about my mental health.
Ok so the rambling version:
So you may or may not have noticed me not posting or being active for a total of around 2 months now and I don't really have an excuse this time. I am still capable of drawing but the ideas and passion just don't happen. Which sucks because I wanted to try and get some sort of art going, maybe remake some adopts and post them on ko-fi. Maybe even make a sort of commission sheet. Something I used to want to do because I thought it would be fun. But then one day art just sort of became a chore, but I tried to push through it with a few tears along the way. I was proud of my progress and everything but it didn't really heal my relationship with art. I think at some point I forgot art started as a hobby for me and not as a job, and I even had a dream about that sediment. I mean, sentiment.
I've been thinking about picking up another hobby but it feels like its too late at this point. I know hobby is something for fun and I shouldn't be held back by something like age, but it's also the fact that I've spent my whole life dedicated to art as this one single hobby that factors into that, too. I had more I wanted to say but I can't remember it all. So that's it for now.
Just writing something quick to say I decided to set up my Ko-Fi! ... I think. I've had it for a bit now but I was hesitant to use it for taking money. Without saying too much I personally feel it's gotten to the point where I might have to try and make a little cash here and there. I have quite a few adopts on the back burner I've been meaning to revamp. Might even try to make a commission sheet. Ok! That's all for now!
Yeah I just really missed doing journal memes
RULES:
Answer each question in as much detail as you like. Skip anything you don't know or would prefer not to answer.
OG post Since I cut out some questions here
How many usernames have you had? (You don't have to share them!)
I want to say about 7? Probably more.
What does your current username mean?
I chose CyanideTide because it had a nice ring to it. And it sounded cool. Mostly because it sounded cool and fit my current interests better than my old username. It doesn't really have a meaning unless you consider a literal tide of cyanide.
What is the first program you used to make digital art?
I tried MSPaint for a little bit but I never got anywhere with it. I consider Colors! 3D my first real digital art program. The Colors team made a switch version with pressure sensitivity, recently! With more QOL updates than Colors! 3D had.
Where did you first start posting your art?
Colors! 3D had its own gallery, which is offline now. Well, offline for the 3DS, that is. I have the switch version, which I still use once in a blue moon to post a doodle or two on the colors gallery there.
What is the first piece of media you drew fanart for?
Either Warrior Cats or Pokemon. Pretty sure Pokemon was first.
Who was your first self-insert/persona/fursona? What did they mean to you?
I want to say this Mew character I had. At least, i think it was a Mew? Its was how I drew Mew at the time except with a crescent moon tail. No idea what its name was, I just used it to insert myself into my silly little Pokemon comics.
Who is your current self-insert/persona/fursona? How are they different to your first?
Guppy is this shapeshifting... thing that I share a nickname with. I used to have a reference for him but because I change him a lot it's kind of outdated. I guess the difference between Guppy and this unnamed Mew-like thing is the fact that Guppy is an original character? And he's colored in! I never used to color in my drawings when I was a kid.
What phases/styles has your art gone through? (e.g. Did you have an anime era, a cartoon style, a watercolour phase?)
I never really document most of my art phases and styles because uh, I'm always going through experimental styles like its candy. I remember doing pastel color pallets, I had a thing where I drew chibi, one day I just wanted to draw more realistic. That's the most memorable ones to me, at least.
What/who do you think has influenced your art style the most?
Probably my friends art and the people I follow? Honorable mention: at some point I could not stop thinking about Metalocalypse so much so that I think that inspired my art style at some point.
What/who inspired you to be an artist?
So once upon a time there was this person who made Ed Edd n Eddy Youtube Poops called PopcornFairy. I loved these YTPs as a kid, so one day I go to her channel and saw she had speedpaints of her persona and some of her characters. And something clicked where I was like "Woah I wanna draw, too!" She still makes art and animations now and again. I think she's NatThePopcornFairy on Deviantart!
What tools are integral to your current workflow? (e.g. Programs, brushes, references.)
I have such a love hate relationship with Clip Studio Paint right now. I love the program itself I just wish it wasn't tethered by internet access. And why do I have to pay a subscription to use your mobile app when I've paid several times for your program on my PC? And why am I only limited to a number of PC's I can use it on?