i've made up a lot of stories and characters in my life, and i have remnants from when i created and cared about them saved, even if that stopped at some later point - and this is true whether they originate from when i was 8, or 18.

except for one! when i was 12 and fell in love with shoujo (through works that have remained beloved to me like kodocha, but also things that fell to the wayside like special a), i started making up this story that i wish i remembered more about.

i don't think i ever wrote down the ideas, i just tried to draw how i imagined the characters to look, but became quickly (and extremely) frustrated in my own artistic limitations. which made me go: "oh, this is unrealistic for me to expect myself to be able to make this story if i can't draw them even once" and give up.

but now i wish i had written the details down! i haven't even been able to find those old attempts to draw the characters (maybe i threw them out? i didn't typically do that, but maybe i did in the intensity of my disappointment). all i remember is that the main couple was a timid goody-goody guy with round glasses, and a delinquent girl with a buzzcut.

i only remember those details because i was worried the guy was too obviously inspired by tsuyoshi sasaki, and the fact i couldn't DRAW a buzzcut (which was somehow story important to the girl, so i was unwilling to compromise and give her some other style) was one of the things that frustrated me.

i wish i could sit with my younger self, hear her explain the whole thing. try to capture them on the page, and teach her how approach it herself. but i feel like that's what everyone wishes they could do!