Give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world
Now that I'm getting around posting the small handful of drawings online again, I figure it's about time I log into Sheezy and try using it again too.
I have been enjoying life doing all kinds of cool and interesting things, and I finally graduated university this month and will have more time to do things. I mostly want to play video games and watch films and go bouldering again, but I also want to draw. I'd like to learn some fundamentals that I never got to learn, as well as try out new programs to see if I can still achieve what I want.
Thanks, 2025. Hope next year is better for all of us.
I knew I wasn’t going to have the time to intensely get back into Sheezy, so I didn’t request to be among the first to try out the site earlier. But today, they’ve rolled out access for all former users, so here I am, once again, just dropping in to make a post.
So, what has changed since the last time I wrote words?
Looking over that journal again, I would say the ideas are more or less the same, with some additions. I still have the lack of desire to interact much due to being busy doing other things, but it’s also the fact that the internet just kind of sucks to be on in general. I mentioned this in a different blog post on my website, but scams and spam and mean people and all that stuff, it’s just really depressing. I’ve found a lot of peace by keeping my internet usage to a minimum, and by doing so, working on my personal projects becomes more frequent since I’m not spending all day scrolling through social media and feeling terrible afterwards for accomplishing nothing.
I didn’t think I got to imply in the Sheezy journal that the disinterest was not just online, but also in-person. I enjoy stranger interactions, but there was also a lack of desire for friendships wherever I found myself physically too (namely school). But that’s something that has changed a bit in the past few months.
I’m still finding myself in school thanks to financial aid, but I was meandering quite a bit until I joined a theatre class on a whim in the Fall, where I helped build the stage sets for the productions. And man, have I found an intense love for stagecraft. And that’s actually what I’m doing for a job right now. A short term one, but a job nonetheless (and for those who don’t know, basically I’ve never been employed before).
So taking it back on the “uninterested in building friendships” thing, I must admit: It’s really hard not to get attached to people you’re constantly collaborating with, so that has opened me up somewhat. Some of the actors interact with us and help with some tasks too, which I find really neat. I’ve never really gotten deep into theatre before and never thought too much about it (not out of dislike, but I simply hardly ever crossed paths with that scene), but I’m very intruiged now.
And other than an unrelated note saying that I’m finally working on a new animated video for myself, that’s kind of all I wish to say tonight. I didn’t really have a plan for this journal, I just started writing out whatever came to mind, and I’m in too deep to delete it now. I wonder who will read this?
Long story short,
I’m still here, still making art (though a bit slower), not too keen on being online as much anymore, and suddenly found myself doing carpentry. Here’s to a good 2024, and long live Sheezy.
So it seems Sheezy is shutting down after not even a week of me officially using it (and others much less than that).
Very strange that they do this right after a registration day. There's a chance it could be a publicity stunt, but regardless, my profiles are found in my header. I don't really have interest in joining any other site at this time. Thanks to all who stopped by and interacted with me in the past few days. I'll still be posting artwork here until the end.
I could have sworn there was a place to submit them. But anyway, I'd love the ability to individually customize the colors of the boxes on your profile.
I think it would look nice if I could put a pink to blue "gradient" from top to bottom with the block headers. Not a real gradient, as implied by the quotation marks, but, for example: my top box header would be a solid pink, the next block down would be a purple, down to a blue at the bottom (or vice versa). And surely others would like this for the potential of pride flag themes. I guess that would make my potential profile an accidental bi flag if I only have three lines of boxes.
In case this is already a feature already that I haven't discovered yet, do let me know.
Here I am, here we will see where it will all go down (if it does).
I haven't joined a new art website in a while, but my life has been so boring for a long time, and I hoped this might do something. There is a good chance that this might end up just being yet another place for me to upload a piece of art and then run. I don't interact much outside my FurAffinity watch feed, and even less so on Twitter, and am almost nonexistent anywhere else.
I'm not sure how to explain my deal. Surely it can't be that I think I'm too good to interact with others due to some sort of elitist fashion (I feel like I come off this way sometimes, but it is not the case), nor is it shyness (though, I do undeniably feel it sometimes), but I feel like all this low energy that I have keeps me from creating new bonds with others. And that goes pretty generally, whether that is following new artists or talking to new people with the intent of friendship. Or even talking to, close-ish... acquaintances. It doesn't happen.
It's disinterest. But saying "I'm disinterested in you as an artist/person/friend" sounds pretty bad. It accidentally sounds personalized. I just don't have a lot to say. What's interesting is that I find more joy talking to strangers in person (at the store, for example) than anyone else. There's always a lot to say. You can say whatever nice things you want, and in case you fail to do something or otherwise have an awkward moment, you will never see that person again. No pressure to stay true to anything you may have said in the past. But still a full-fledged interaction, and interactions of any kind are what I think everyone needs, no matter how introverted one may be.
Now you could be thinking, "How can you claim to be sooo disinterested when you're talking about it so much?" Well, here's the thing. I can see the importance in having connections. Having a network of artist friends can land you work, and having friends can bring you favors and create good memories, among many other reasons. I'm interested in the mutual good that can come of all of that. However, I'm lacking the genuine desire to go out or talk to people, it doesn't come to me naturally (anymore?). And it's not an aversion either, I think people are great, it's just... I'm doing other things. I like doing other things. Responding to comments at my own pace works. Messaging 2 people on occasion works.
But we'll see, we'll see...
I think I've just found what I want to do with this site. Aside from posting artwork. See, I used to post journals a lot on DeviantArt until it became uncomfortable to look at, but SheezyArt has that feeling of comfort that I feel I can share my thoughts on again. IDK what to do with my profile page though. Customization has never been my forte in any degree. I enjoyed the hell out of playing The Sims, but my enjoyment from that wasn't from creating beautiful dream homes, it was to bring hell upon the characters to see how fast they would kick the bucket.
Not sure what that says about me, but you have nothing to worry about. Except for a bland profile of mine. I can't do much about that.