Insane person rambles about issue that literally has no solution.

Ok I cannot have a conversation about this without spiralling into a meltdown it seems, but why am I the only one who doesn't seem to "get" music? I don't understand it. Why does everyone just like, "know" how to critique it? Why do we observe it in a matter we do with no other art form? Why do we even analyse it if it all falls back on a vibe check??? I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I tried talking with my boyfriend about it and it boiled down to "well I just like feel it and you just don't get it" or "I can tell when music has soul" or "well don't worry if you're doing it different than everyone else just do it your way." What does "my way" mean? why can I do it the "right way"? why is it the "right way"? Why is it that we can all agree that the act of human creation no matter how corporate or "soulless" has meaning and value inherently that we can agree on and thus our critiques fall more onto objective execution of art. EXCEPT FOR MUSIC???? WHY???? "none of it matters" so why do some people get famous for critiquing art who have barely even picked up an instrument? Why is the critique of art in the court of public opinion yet the critique of all other art requires a greater understanding of all of this? WHY CAN'T I JUST GET IT? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG ME ???????
and then I sit here, looking at all that I've said and wonder if this is just another facet of my autism, of my inability to be the "right" way? If it doesn't matter why does it upset me so much? Is that what I should analyse? Why I desire to fit on this specific factor? It feels like the only piece I'm missing in my being, a lover of art who just can't "get it"? "GET IT"? What do I even do with this existential worry. Where do I place it? Is there merit to it or is it just my desire to make myself seem broken? Is it because my boyfriend loves music yet there's a divide on our ability to access it? I don't even know !!!! Either everyone is wrong Abt music or there's something wrong with me

p.s yes I spent way too long coding this to calm myself down -w-
P.S P.S it was just imposter syndrome again