i honestly feel pretty happy for myself. i still struggle with feeling that its not worth it for me to improve, and i should just live my life to the shortest but deep down, i am not happy with living like that.

i want to be as healthy as possible, and try to learn/experience as much as i can and use my limited time here to make my life the best it can be despite everything.

ik my life is not going to be sunshine lollipops and rainbows, but i'd rather just live a painful life but feel satisfied than just rot away from hedonism and letting myself go.

i hope i can still remain locked in on things that are important and persist.