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i honestly feel pretty happy for myself. i still struggle with feeling that its not worth it for me to improve, and i should just live my life to the shortest but deep down, i am not happy with living like that.
i want to be as healthy as possible, and try to learn/experience as much as i can and use my limited time here to make my life the best it can be despite everything.
ik my life is not going to be sunshine lollipops and rainbows, but i'd rather just live a painful life but feel satisfied than just rot away from hedonism and letting myself go.
i hope i can still remain locked in on things that are important and persist.
inspo from:here and hereplus here
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Name/Nicknames: Reiko as main online name, Bloody/Kitsune as other online names, real name anonymous
Gender: f a m a l e
Birthday/zodiac: april 12/aries
Hair color: black/super deep brown but i want dusty blonde/gold blonde

Fun Fact: You have thousands of mites on your face, eating ur skin and getting laid
Dream Job: tattoo artist?
Favorite Colors: Red, black, purple, yellow (bright only), hot pink, blue green
Favorite Bands/Artists: caustic, nine inch nails, the chemical brothers, ween, oasis, gorillaz, at the drive in/the mars volta, slut band, bjork, selptura,tool, siouxie and the banshees, nofx,lovers may, albert hammond jr.,lemon demon/neil cicierega, green day, logan whitehurst (rest in peace you legend),vulgaires machins, groovy aardvark, angine de poitrine,dir en grey, malice mizer, halicali, plus-tech squeeze boom! (why is my music taste so gay /pos)
Least favorite bands/artists: overly happy 80s pop,phonk, "country" pop, taylor swift's music (reputation and showgirl albums only,hoes mad),justin beiber's new music (baby wasnt that bad tbh), imagine dragons
Favorite Podcasts: none
Favorite Food: i need a f r i e d c h i m k e n and some ramen (restaurant noodles, not the maruchan shit)
Favorite Bird: ravens, parrots, bald eagles (no patriotism, they are beautiful creatures), vultures
Least Favorite Bird: canada geese (evil creatures that almost bit me when i was 14, IT JUST RANDOMLY DECIDED TO ATTACK ME WHILE I WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THEIR AREA, dont worry i was fine)
Favorite Holidays: halloween
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Favorite Flowers: magnolias, aqulegias/columbines, hibiscuses
Favorite Emojis: 🦎🐍🐉🌛✨🌈🌃🌌😆🥹😊🙃😝🥺😢🤬🥵🤡🫀🗣️🫂💋🐱🐦🐤🦆🦐🦀🐳🌹🥀🌺🌻🔥💥🍉🍋🍒🥭🥝🍍🍱🍜🍹🍾🎱💽💾📸📺⏰💣🔮🩻🧸🧫🦠🧡💛🩵🩷💔❤️🔥💕
Hobbies/Interests: writing poetry, drawing traditionally/digitally, painting, alt/vintage fashion, alt culture (especially emo,scene,punk, and goth),occultism/mysticism (blame evangelion and jake doubleyoo),old anime, space,insects, metroidvania/sandbox/psych horror/slasher horror games,hellsing, slasher/psych horror,old web,lost media(especially station x) sticker collecting,french/japanese rock (mostly older stuff, i barely know these languages), playing piano,astrology (i dont take it super seriously)
Last thing you ate?: chicken and rice with broccoli
Beach, mountains or meadow: mountains or meadow, i hate sand
Books I plan to read: the master and margarite, dan brown's the lost symbol, black butler, beserk
Biggest Fears: being left paralyzed/in a vegetative state, anything related to losing identity, needles, dying before i'm ready to, centipedes, you
Pepsi or Coke?: crystal bepis
Does playing an instrument make a guy/girl more attractive?: yes, especially if its guitar, piano or saxophone
Have you ever been in love: no...and i'll be forever alone (/hj)
Do you plan to get married: fuck no
Do you like rain or thunderstorms: yes but thunderstorms sometimes scare me due to the lightning being sensory overload sometimes
How many CD's/DVD's do you own: only 2 and they are old windows 95 game stuff. i only own an old dvd player and i dont think it works anymore. i wish i had more physical media and wasn't fucking broke
Swearing amount: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQGkViR5k4
How do you want to die?: Like a badass
Piercings: Only one on my ear
Tattoos: no (need a bjork tattoo, a mars volta tattoo and a flowers and skulls tattoo)

Art Inspiration: lewis rosignol, death orgone/frederick maheux, the 613 picrew artist dude, multiple artists on ng and sheezy, 2000s alt stuff, mtv downtown and station x
OC you draw most: yaldie/anestha
Favorite art subjects: my ocs but i also do backgrounds and surreal shit and animals
Favorite art periods: art deco (1910-1930), 50s-70s retrofuturism, 90s grunge, egyptian revival stuff (early/mid 20th century?)
Big Projects I Haven't Gotten Around To: "one who stands before the cherubim". i'm too tired to write more of it rn. i'll finish maybe at august at most
Favorite Art Mediums: mixed media, watercolor, posca markers,alcohol markers, acrylic paint
anyone just get random oc/art ideas outta nowhere but when u finally have the time you dont have the ideas anymore
partly related i decided to get back to actually using my diary so i should write the ideas when i can
YOU HAVE BEEN GNOMED
U HAVE 24 HRS TO GNOME SOMEONE ELSE