calendar_monthJune 2026calendar_monthMay 2026calendar_monthApril 2026calendar_monthMarch 2026calendar_monthFebruary 2026calendar_monthJanuary 2026calendar_monthNovember 2025calendar_monthOctober 2025calendar_monthSeptember 2025calendar_monthAugust 2025calendar_monthJuly 2025calendar_monthMay 2025calendar_monthApril 2025calendar_monthFebruary 2025calendar_monthNovember 2024calendar_monthOctober 2024calendar_monthSeptember 2024calendar_monthAugust 2024calendar_monthJuly 2024calendar_monthJune 2024calendar_monthApril 2024calendar_monthMarch 2024calendar_monthFebruary 2024
i will change some parts for the main profile as i feel like its outdated in some areas. idk if i should keep the red/orange theme, go with my alt’s dark blue theme or something else. give me suggestions in the comments if u have any.
think dark, angsty, neocities/myspace ish, alt, with some brighter colors.
i’ll be more focused on different artstyles and experimenting because i feel like my art is very stagnated
i’ll be doing more furry and animal stuff
i’ll add a third alt just for ocs and their lore. my second alt is still sketch/less comfortable art account.
i'll be starting a barage of poetry in either this account or my alt. a lot of it is meant to get rid of my intense mental stress. i'm not rlly the best writer so please be forgiving
this is something i need to get off my chest.
i've been feeling like the root of why i am so jealous and haved viewed a lot of artists on here and newgrounds as "so much better than me and i will never improve" is because i crave attention.
it doesn't mean that i would do a stupid trend and start drama just so i can get attention. i would never do that. i just feel an intense craving for attention and being noticed. although i know my artwork has intense soul and passion, i want people to see my talent and to be somewhat popular. not to get influencer type fame, but just to be noticed and seen. i also have this with my artstyle, hobbies, aesthetics and music. i think its rooted in childhood trauma that hasn't been resolved.
i also feel it's cus of my laziness and lack of commitment, which makes it hard to keep doing new things to be more talented.
ik its a problem, and i need to stop it. especially since i've had internal glorification of certain groups for their talent, despite not actually glorifying them. i just dont know how.
thanks for reading.
do you guys reccomend i post them in my main or my alt (dev1l-in-chain5)
2025 was not very good for me. i was struggling and feeling like i was losing myself, and i felt like i was just a dumb lab rat to be mistreated. also felt more scared and paranoid, and feeling that i didnt rlly matter and shouldnt even have aspirations because there is no future for me.
i never really liked new years, but i feel more scared about the new year. i just hope that i can feel happier and change for the better.
however it was not all shit. i actually started becoming a lot more productive but its taken a long time. i feel more in touch with my emotional side, and feeling freer. i still worry heavily but i just hope i can survive 2026 and not lose it.
luv u all /platonic