Hi there, just wanted to say oops! I was gone for a lot longer than planned, because a lot has happened and I'm currently trying to save up for top surgery and to move out of my abusive home to australia to be with my partner... Hopefully by next summer.
Anyway yeah! My friend, now partner, came to visit all the way from australia, so I spent two-ish weeks with them, and then I spent quite awhile prepping and planning and sorting things out for my top surgery in november.. and then all the horrible depressing things happening in the USA.. it's been a lot!
I'm trying very hard to save up despite not having a job or consistent income, which sadly means a lot of begging on the internet, but I miss sheezy and am trying to get back into drawing more so hi hello!! Any kind words or words of encouragement would mean a lot!
I hope you all have been well and I'd love to hear about your week if you wanna share! good or bad!
Please consider commissioning me :')) I have emergency discounted doodle/sketch coms on my ko-fi, and I have regular coms on my vgen that I am willing to haggle pricing or give a discount for.
^^^ Ko-fi for doodle/sketch coms ^^^
I'm doing all of this because I have been desperately trying to get top surgery for 13 years and now I might finally be able to! It's scheduled for the end of september and I need 3k to get it, but no matter how hard I try I can't save up. Money troubles, medical issues, and the like just keep coming up and I make roughly 20 to 50 usd a month. I have not made more than 50usd a month in about 3 years except for ONCE when I was really lucky to be commissioned for a full body from someone.
now I had to take my car to the shop because of a loud screeching noise that's been happening for months got exacerbated over the past week, and now there's a thunking. My break pad is worn almost through in the front apparently??[idk how that happens but I break so gently and early I barely noticed until yesterday that there was even anything wrong with the breaks] and it's extremely rusted in the back breaks + axel? Idk how that happens either!! aaughh I mean I get how rust works but you know
anyway, please consider helping! iif nothing else I still accept donations on my ko-fi, and you can share my stuff on bluesky, and I have drawing timelapses and other things on youtube and tiktok, and like just sharing my stuff, sharing my art, watching my videos, things like that can help me get my name out there and make it more likely to reach people who can donate or commission me!
https://cosmicrot.net/
https://www.tiktok.com/@cosmicrot
https://www.youtube.com/@CosmicRot
Thank you SO much for reading and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day.
Neither me nor any of the doctors know how.. but this past friday I fractured my rib!!
I'm going insane because I'm unable to draw, and it's literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.
[the most likely culprit is literally just from putting lotion on my back.... talk about embarrassing]
I ended up not going to the ER until monday because I've been in insurance limbo and couldn't afford an ER trip so I suffered through two days of wanting to throw up from pain before finally going 😭🥲
and then I had to go to the orthopedic urgent care/walk in clinic yesterday cause I suddenly couldn't breathe well, only to find out the fracture is a lot worse than the ER doctor lead me to believe [they even showed me the images this time.. they never do at the ER] and the ortho is SUPER concerned so I gotta get a ton of bloodwork! but my grandma flaked on bringing me today... and my SSDI court hearing is tomorrow soa aaugrsdegdgdfh
I was playing a lot of blue prince after I was FINALLY able to get into a semi-comfortable [ie; not excruciating] amount of pain at my desk with a weird pillow setup.. but now I'm hurting a lot again so I need to go bed-mode for awhile. [Which I can't even lay down!!! I have to be super propped up,, oh how I miss laying on my side and stomach]
anyway if I'm like missing for a month or so! that's why
this fracture has extremely messed up my life rn, and I'm unable to do anything at all I normally was doing to scrounge together super small amounts of cash.. so I'm back to begging on the internet so I don't end up in the ER again, and because I ran out of foodstamps 2 weeks ago [I finally get more next week but I'm unable to cook at all and we've run out of most easy to make things...]
life is a fuck and neither of my parents are really willing to help me so I've been hurting myself just trying to do daily things :')) fml
I'm so angry and tired and embarrassed because I'm having to beg for help again online because I got kicked off health insurance.
I have a brain MRI, endocrinology, a surgery consult, and a derm appointment I've been waiting like 8 months for and I'm so angry!!! like they didn't give me any warning and are saying I'm not eligible to get back on insurance and I'm just
I don't know what to do
I'm not sharing the link here because I'm straight up so embarrassed that I keep having to ask for help over and over and over again and I just needed somewhere to complain and vent for a moment because it's.. so exhausting
I don't have the energy or health to do anything about it in time[since everything but the MRI is upfront costs], and I'm sick of asking for help, but the brain mri and endocrinology are SO important, and the surgery consult and derm are too but at least those aren't like "this needs to happen NOW" [I hope so anyway, I've had this rash for a year now so idk if.. it's normal or serious or not. I would have already seen the derm but the place I was doing doesn't take my insurance anymore, and now that I'm kicked off I might have to get a new referral AGAIN]
I really like both neocities and nekoweb, I think they both have a lot going for them.. but it genuinely makes me so sad that nekoweb only allows donations through patreon which since I don't use it means I can never have more than one website with them.. but their dashboard and folder layout is sooo much better and I find having the little site boxes a lot of fun. I do however notice there's a lot more flashing images and other such things just blatantly out in the open with no warning [including in site boxes] than on neocities.
Neocities definitely has waayy more people, and there's a lot of charm, and I find that accessibility is pretty good on the site exploration side of things, but sites are obviously hit or miss depending on the person..
They're both definitely great and fun web hosting sites though and I'm glad to be on both and be a part of the communities there. I hope I can learn more and share my website, my art, and help people think about the intersection of disability pride and accessibility. My hope for the future is to have sites that can have unique and friendly experiences for disabled people, and making stuff with different kinds of disabled people in mind.
Anyway!! little preview of my website! I last was working on trying to get some reduced motion preferred stuff working, and adding alt text and figuring out some more accessibility stuff. (❁´◡`❁)💖✨
if anyone has opinions on readability of the light mode I'd appreciate it! I'm trying to make things look aesthetically pleasing but still be readable. Light modes are really hard on my eyes and give me migraines so I can't be sure how well it works as I can only look at it for brief periods 🥲
But yeah, I've been having a lot of fun with webdev stuff and working on my site! but I don't know how much I'll work on it for a bit cause I'm really tired.
mild vent below related and unrelated vvvvvvv
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